Part VI of Friendship Eternal: You Can't Be Friendless

"All things being equal, people will work with people they like; all things not being equal, they still will."

~ John C. Maxwell

The Friendship Principle means what it says.

When it comes to doing things we always want to do it with friends that we can truly rely on. Who would want to work with people who only add more trouble to what needs to be done? It's only that our trust allows a certain few to be part of a team, and that spells victory for them once they put their hearts and minds to the task.

And of course, when you work with friends it's easy for you to accomplish the tasks because you know each other's strengths and weaknesses - and from there you can complement and help each other do things and get the job done really quick. And when the going gets tough, the tough gets going from you and your buddies. After all the hard work and effort all of you chip in, when it's finally done you can get together for a hearty meal to celebrate your success!

Friendship is without a doubt a driving force to healthy personal lives. When you have mutual trust, respect, understanding and experience, you connect to your friends in a deeper way than you normally would. With friendship, it doesn't matter whether you have the people knowledge to connect with others, or your service skills that treats people like kings, or even your reputation within the world's community. Your friends know who you are, and all of you know what you have in common is the reason you are friends with each other: the fun, the jokes, the experiences, the opinions, etc. Friendship is a difference maker!

One true story illustrates this. General William Westmoreland, one of the many U.S. leaders who led his troops in Vietnam, was reviewing a platoon of paratroopers, asking each of them, "How do you like jumping, son?"

The first soldier said, "Love it, sir!"

"The greatest experience in my life, sir!" exclaimed the second soldier.

The third soldier surprised him. He said, "I hate it, sir."

General Westmoreland asked him, "Then why do you do it?"

"Because I want to be around the guys who love to jump."

A cute story of friendship. If we want to be that kind of friend, the one who's always around with the others, sharing moments of joy and sorrow, then remember that finding real friends - let alone being one - is a hard thing now, as they are scarce. King Solomon, one of the wisest people who ever lived, said that "Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family." If you do find one, make sure you cultivate your friendship with him. Nurture it until the both of you have become as close as foxhole friends. (Or maybe even to that level) Better yet, be a real friend anyone would want to have. Use the Approachability Principle hand in hand with this one.

King Solomon also says, "Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul." Real friends are refreshing like soothing lotions and beautiful fragrances. Whenever you have one around, you're guaranteed to have yourself a good share of great memories in future. As author C.S. Lewis observes, "Friendship is born at the moment one says to another, 'What? You too? I thought I was the only one.'" To have that kind of friendship is always refreshing, no matter the situation. It's like a breath of fresh air in the early morning. And it should always be that way.

Another quote by King Solomon is this: "You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another." It's because real friends help each other become better at who they are and what they do. (And even how they do it) Real friends are always bringing out the best that's in you. They have faith in you. Even if you say you can't, they keep saying you can. And it lasts for a lifetime. They will be there for you all the time, and they will never ever turn their back on you. Even though the world is now full of selfish people who look after their own selves, you might come across people who still cling together like chewing gum to your shoe.

Author and pastor Richard Exley has some good insight:

"A true friend is one who hears and understands when you share your deepest feelings. He supports you when you are struggling; he corrects you, gently and with love, when you err; and he forgives you when you fail. A true friend prods you to personal growth, stretches you to your full potential. And most amazing of all, he celebrates your successes as if they were his own."

Sure, you want to have lots of friends. But there are times when some friendships don't always last. There are times when a friendship is formed for a REASON. They may come into your life, change you in some way, and then fade away into the shadows. All this may unfold in just a day! Or maybe it may be an ongoing but intermittent process. You may find that there is little need to develop such friendships. But sometimes what they leave behind in your heart may be worth more than all the money in the world.
There are also those which last for a SEASON. You get to know them, have fun with them, chat and share thoughts with them, and the like. But it's only for just a certain period of time. Even so, treat them like they were your real friends. Seasonal relationships are like with teachers or an employer. Once it's over, there usually is little reason to continue keeping in touch.

Finally, the important ones are those that last for a LIFETIME. These are ongoing and permanent, and the bond you have with these kind of friends will span many years. And to make sure it stays that way, continuous cultivation of the friendship is a must. You need to commit yourself to the friendship; talk to them the way they want to be talked to; be the kind of friend YOU want to have; share the memories you have; grow together holistically, and it wouldn't hurt to spoil each other once in a while.

When you start practising all this, make a note of their reactions and behavior to you before and after. If the results are positive, then you are making progress with your friends! They will slowly but readily accept your new approach to them, and you may find yourself surrounded by many real friends anyone could ever want. But of course, always note that while most last for a short time, those that will last forever need to be cultivated at all times to ensure you have real friends to help you when you need it the most. And be sure to repay them in kind.

Believe in these principles, and they will work wonders for you.

Cheers!