You And I

You and I...

It's best that we don't stay friends anymore.

Perhaps I'm being self centred. But still, you and I, we're not going anywhere. It's only pointless words going back and forth between each other.

Best that we go our own separate ways so that neither party gets hurt by the words that may be said.

And to be honest, after that fateful day, you and I have lost that friendship we once shared. I cannot explain how or why.

All I know is that you and I can never go back to the days when we first met.

I guess we changed. One way or another.

Farewell.

New Thoughts

Jerk, noun: [Slang] a person regarded as disagreeable, despicable, etc.
(Sourced from Webster's New World Dictionary, published 1995)

This is going to be quite a tell-all.

Have you ever had a day when your good intentions are suddenly warped and twisted just because of a few words or because of one action? I'm sure we've all had our days. Come to think of it, I've had a huge share of those problems.

Frank Sinatra sang: "Regrets, I've had a few./But then again, too few to mention." If I said I had no regrets at all - not a single one ever - then I'd be lying. In fact, I've piled them up in one corner for myself to see. The details are fuzzy, but they're there in my head. What a way to remind myself of all my faults.

Even after a massive fallout, I'd always be the first to simmer down and realize how foolish I was. But of course, at that time, the damage is already done. Can I still mend the wounds? I can only hope so.

If you saw the definition of "jerk" at the start of the post, you'd probably wonder if the term has any connection to me. I've been branded a jerk before, and yes, initially I didn't like it. But in time I decided I shouldn't allow myself to be adversely affected by one word. If people were to consider me to be a jerk, I won't say they're right nor wrong. Nobody is really in the right, let alone the wrong. For all I know, they might be considered a jerk to another person.

So who wants to start pointing fingers? Forget it, you're not going anywhere if you did.

From what I have learned from the tell-all weeks ago, instead of letting myself drown under the weight of the grief and misery generated by my mind - and including the negative feedback from the detractors - I'm gonna have to live with the consequences. It's a fact. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, that's what they say.

If I have to live with them, then it's a challenge I should accept. And while they may continue to trouble me for many more weeks, perhaps even months, no matter how much they tug at my mind, I'll have to ignore them if I don't want history to repeat itself.

As Publilius Syrus said: "How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself." I will have to forgive myself for the things I shouldn't have done. All that's left is for them to choose to forgive me.

I can tell you right now, if I could turn back time, there would be so many wrongs that I could right. So many chances I missed that I could take up. So much could be changed for the better! And, in fact, I may even find myself where I belong.

If I could turn back time, so much could have been changed:
I'd never have angered my friends while in Primary and even in Lower Secondary;
I'd never have acted so stupidly back in Form Four;
(All because of muddled emotions; one of the worst mistakes I'd ever done. If ever I could meet her again, I wouldn't hesitate to say sorry for it)
I'd never have let history repeat itself the following year;
I'd probably have avoided a verbal fight with my classmate;
(Thankfully we've mended bridges)
I'd never lost another friend because of my forgetfulness;
(Jean, if you're reading this, I'm terribly sorry. I truly am. A year on and I have never gotten over it. I never should have forgotten Leroy's card, and I wish you would forgive me for it)
I'd have stopped my friend from doing something stupid;
I'd have stopped myself for trusting my 'gut instincts';
I'd never have hurt her - and myself - because of my immaturity;
(You know I mean you; even when you forgave me for it, it will forever remain a black stain in the story of my life)
I'd never have fallen so deep into despair and self-loathing;
(One of the lowest points in my entire life; thank you to those who have helped me find new meaning in my life, and for adding value to it)
I'd never have acted like a jerk and said things I will continue to regret.

And that's just a tip of the iceberg.

Losing a friend is one of the most painful things that I've experienced - twice, maybe thrice considering what I said last Friday. It's like getting stabbed in the heart and adding lots of salt to the wound. And then letting it fester and become gangrenous. That's how much it stings. When am I ever going to permanently remind myself not to break more bonds of friendship?

But all that's in the past now. Best to move on and remember the lessons I've learned on the way.

At the same time, I thank Kuan Yin for being so gracious and caring even when I faced these arduous tests. My strong connection with my religion, though not as strong as it should be, has helped me see through these perilous times. And of course, there's the support from my extended family, who have shown me that it's not the end of the world.

And I pray I won't have to go through these tests anymore; for if I repeat them again then let it be known that my sins shall not be absolved until I find a way to right the wrongs, lest my soul be damned and taken to the bowels of Hell to suffer for all eternity. This I vow.

This I vow.

If you're reading this, I hope I've made certain things clear. I thank those who have shown me they still care, and I will do whatever I can to change for the better.

If you're one of the few people mentioned, whether directly or indirectly, I won't force you to make a decision in an instant. I can't promise that I won't make the same mistake again in future. (And, fingers crossed, it won't!) But if you allow me to find the time and effort to rebuild our broken trust, I will not let this chance slip from my hands anymore. As I have vowed above, if I lose that chance, then it would mean the end of me.

I'll be as open and transparent as I can. If you have questions, don't hesitate to ask. I'll answer the best as I can. And I promise you it'll be nothing but the truth.

And please do me the favor of sharing this. It's intended for all of you: even those who stand divided from me, and for those whom I've already lost. Thank you.

More Thoughts

I confess: lately I've become ever more distant than my classmates than I should. I've noticed that ever since I've begun to see things from a new light, the more I know the further I get from USS3. It hasn't escaped my sight. I know this is happening. Am I powerless to stop it?

Not at all.

Yes, the distance between me and my class is probably as wide as... well, not the Grand Canyon, of course. But it's no surprise, really. Over the months, I've been doing and saying things I shouldn't have - and many that I regret - and in between I've also begun to adopt very radical changes in my life that, I dare say, I would never have thought to adopt. It's like they said: "When you change, you don't stick around with the old. You naturally move on."

Am I right to say that my change has only widened the rift between all my classmates?

It's both yes and no.

Why yes?
Like what I said above, change moves you onward. Whatever that you embraced may or may not remain in you when you make that transition. While I cannot deny many of the Science 3 people have been great friends (you know who you are) I'm afraid that there are some aspects which I cannot fit in well. Don't get me wrong, all of you are wonderful people - full of different personalities that have helped color the class. Unfortunately, that's the reason why I have started to float away. The color I possess will only darken things.

And who wants a whiner in their group anyway?

So if I've been quite the introvert with you guys, then my humblest apologies. But I can't promise I'll try to fit in. I might not. I might never.

And why no?
Only a small handful know that this change I'm going through is necessary. And I have Yoon to thank for his support, both explicit and implicit. If it wasn't for him, I may have dropped out. In fact, it's an irony that I had to force him not to!

Forgive me for the sins I've committed, dear God. And I pray that you, my friends, will know my errs and absolve them from me, for I have seen my faults and I wish to repent. And I do not intend to be like what my father is now, damn his soul. I never intended to walk in his shoes and leave a path of destruction like he has.

Cheers all.

Remembering 9/11

Ten years. Ten years have flown by so quickly.

I remember I was only nine when it happened. We had just come back from celebrating my mum's 42nd birthday with a nice dinner, all smiles and all feeling lively. We turned on to the news, wondering what may have happened in the world while we were away.

The first thing we saw was the smoke, rising into the air, as the fires raged where the first plane hit. As the reporters were talking to the news anchors about what happened, the next plane came out of nowhere and collided the second tower. We were, suffice to say, shocked to the core.

We were glued to the screen, wondering what was to transpire in the next few moments, as though we were watching an intense action movie. But we knew this was all real.

The fire department and the police rushed to the scene, the former deploying its force to douse fires and rescue those from the two buildings, the latter trying to maintain some semblance of order while helping the firemen however they could. We couldn't see much of their activity, but I could guess some New Yorkers willingly came to their aid if they could.

There must have been billions of people who saw the news. Everybody must have felt terrified to witness something so tragic unfold before their eyes. I was young then, but I knew how significant this event was to the world. But I didn't know it's impact would be far from that.

Then they began to collapse - the South Tower went first, and some time later its twin followed it into oblivion. The dust that billowed from their downfall swallowed up the streets of New York City, enveloping the surrounding areas with a thick fog that reduced visibility to near zero.

It was heart-wrenching, to say the least. We went to bed, thoughts racing through our minds. I wondered how the world would change after this shattering event.

The next day, we got the bigger picture: the crashes at the Pentagon and in Shanksville, Pennsylvania; al-Qaeda's brash admission to these heinous acts; Bush's address to the American people, promising retribution; and many other reports and articles. The world was obviously shaken. Many sent their condolences, while others condemned the attacks. There were mixed responses, I know, but many were unheard - unless you were on the Net at that time. I'm sure there are just as many who salute the suicide bombers as there are those branding them terrorists.

But that's the most I remember of 9/11 ten years ago. I was just nine, but I could tell the implications it brought were major. Now, as I follow current developments, I realize that 9/11 became more than just a terrorist attack: it marked the end of many things, like the West's victory over Communism and, before that, Hitler's fascist reign over Europe. And it also marked the beginning of more world-shaping events, from Operation: Iraqi Freedom and Operation: Enduring Freedom, to the United States' deteriorating image among other countries and the recent Arab Spring, among other things.

It's been said that Osama bin Laden had planned the attacks to achieve these very changes. He may have hoped the US' overrreaction to 9/11 would ultimately lead to their downfall. And it seemed to have worked.

It doesn't matter that they are the most powerful nation in the world; now they're waist deep in debt, and their standing with many of the world's nations has dropped significantly since the War on Terror. President Obama should realize he isn't just fighting for the confidence of his fellowmen in the next election: he also needs to regain the globe's confidence in this once-mighty superpower.

In fact it doesn't just end there: conspiracy theories, anti-Islam sentiments (especially the controversy over Cordoba House, to be built at the site of Ground Zero - which, thankfully, has been resolved peacefully), torture of prisoners, the East's steady economic rise, Osama's death in his Islamabad mansion - this and so many more came as a result of 9/11 - the anti-Islamic sentiments especially (and not forgetting the growing anti-American movement in most Islamic countries because of the US' invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan) being one of the bigger centrepieces.

Show Me The Meaning...

...of true suffering
...of being lonely
...of psychological torture
...of love
...of hate
...of willpower
...of true friendship
...of strength
...of spiritual rebirth
...of sweet success
...of pain
...of misery
...of poverty
...of dread
...of despair
...of being close to Death
...of great burdens
...of talent
...of perseverance
...of patience
...of determination
...of stamina
...of trust
...of the past, of the present, and of the future

If I knew what they really mean to a man, mayhaps I may understand what it means to suffer - and what it takes to break from the bonds of suffering.

Oh that my grief were thoroughly weighed, and my calamity laid in the balances together!For now it would be heavier than the sand of the sea: therefore my words are swallowed up.For the arrows of the Almighty are within me, the poison whereof drinks up my spirit: the terrors of God do set themselves in array against me.~ Job 6:2-4

Entries

The nemesis came again

Marching in full force

Could it be over soon?

Could this war come full circle?

For years

I have did battle with it

The nemesis and I

Know each other well

Far too well, in fact

For all our conflict

Has led us to learn of the other's strength

And that of his weakness too

But time and again

I have proven resourceful

Wily and cunning

The nemesis

It learns

Years have flown by

And those years have done little

To whittle its strength

It becomes greater by the day

By the hour

By the minute

By every passing second

Slowly my will falters

With every passing moment

The poisons of the nemesis

Beginning to work

Their dark magicks

Walls crumble and fall

The nemesis pours his malice

His rage and fury

Through the cracks

His minions march relentlessly

While my men

Brave as they are

They are no match to something

Incomparable to the mortal soul

The nemesis knows it will win

But the question is:

When?

One last fortress stands now

The rest all but conquered

Under the banner of the nemesis

The mighty bastion

A firm testament

Of endurance, strength and determination

Manned by hundreds of thousands

Loyal men and women

Willing to give their lives

To defend what is dearest to us

All of us

I watch the horizon

The trails of smoke

Signifying the nemesis's army

Coming from the south

Approximately fifty kilometers

From where I stood

I couldn't help but wonder

What could I expect from this?

Defeat?

Victory?

"It's all up to you"

Says the stranger

Sipping on tea

With scones on the side

Watching the smoke plumes rise

From the campfire next to me

Wait

How is it that he's here?

"Don't you know me well enough by now?"

He grinned

As he always does

I saunter up to him

Troops passing me by

Engrossed with preparations

I take a seat next to him

And he proffers a scone

"It's tasty," he adds

I take one

Hesitantly

Before I open my m0uth to ask

He answers

"It's only a dream after all"

I blink

Is he speaking the truth?

"Of course!

How is it

That you're fighting off

An unspeakable evil

When you're actually

On a train ride

Going somewhere

In hopes of finding answers?"

I blink

He definitely is speaking truth

"What you face now,"

He continues

Another scone down

Sipping his tea

"This nemesis

I believe it's an extension

Of your dark side

Or something you've been hiding

What could it be?

I believe you should tell me that

What are you hiding?"

"My insecurities, stranger

My fears

My doubts

My despair

My loneliness

My...

Well

Essentially, my pessimism

No more, no less

The fight here is

More or less

A metaphorical description

Of the mental battle I wage

Likened to be a real conflict

And

I'm on the losing side"

I finish with a sigh

He offered another scone

As he thought

Of what he should say

It seems so easy

For one like him

To offer advice

"It's a war alright"

He looks around him

At the soldiers pacing up and down

A menagerie of veterans

And brave civilians

"I can imagine

The troops are your mental 'resolve'

The only thing standing

In fear's way

But...

For an army

It seems so insignificant"

"I've told you," I reply

"I'm on the losing side

My morale's never been this low

In fact

It's become a battle

Just to get through a day

Without any bruises or wounds"

"It's funny

You only found out

About your condition

Only days ago

And already you're giving up?

Are you kidding?

You're such a pessimist"

I hang my head

"If you didn't know already

I AM ONE

And there's nothing I can do

To change that fact"

"See a doctor first

Then talk

You haven't even started

And already you're complaining?

You're a joke, boy"

"Listen!"

I stand up in anger

The stranger gazes at me

Not surprised

Perhaps expecting my tantrum?

The others ignore us

As they continue to make ready

For the following

"If you were in my shoes

Then you'd understand

How I really feel"

"No matter how much

How much I fight

Every time I reach

A break through

The nemesis finds a weakness

And back it is to square one

He is anathema

The perfect embodiment

Of my worst nightmare

Everything goes down the drain

Everything

Everything!"

"How long have I been fighting now?

Too many years now!

All the conflict we've waged

Up until this point

I don't want to fight

I'm sick and tired

I'm weary and weak

I can't go on any further

I really can't

No more

Not anymore"

My shoulders stoop

The stranger keeps his eyes on me

He nods

"Then

I guess

This marks the end of my journey

With you, my friend

I cannot help you

Win this war

It is one

You have to win yourself

Thus

I wish you well

And I wish you peace"

He rises from his seat

Teacup still in his hand

Now empty

Pats my shoulder

And disappears

Klaxons blare

Someone in the distance

Screams in panic

Another shouts

The enemy approaches!

In the distance

Legions of the nemesis' men

March to claim victory

While in the fortress

Prayers

Tears

Farewells

Preparations

Weapon checks

The lot

The stranger is gone now

Forever?

Honestly?

I don't know

I'm lost now

The enemy approaches

And I worry

This battle may be my last

Fear not, friends

The entries will continue

So long as I live

But I live in the shadow

Of my own fears

And that of the nemesis

That lurks inside me

He taunts me all the time

Enticing me to fight on

Should I?

For too long now I've been fighting

I don't know what else

I have left in me

Maybe I've no other choice

But to finish this

And see how it ends

If I fall

Bury me in an unmarked grave

Somewhere on the outskirts

Close to nature

Have a small tombstone

And on it

Etch my epitaph

"If only I were better

Than who I was"

Send me a garland of flowers

Once a year

And remember me

For the little good that I've done

For you

If any at all

I pray that this is not the end

The London Crisis: A Post

For this post, I will take this opportunity to salute and praise the English police forces for their valiant efforts in keeping the rioters at bay in the days that have seen some of the worst rioting throughout the nation in decades, not forgetting the 2009 riot at the G20 summit, where a man was killed by a police officer while trying to control the demonstration.

It's not an easy job, being a policeman - especially in a tumultuous time like this. What started off as small-scale protests eventually flared into nationwide panic that has drowned many parts of London - from Tottenham, Clapham and Catford, to Birmingham, Manchester and Liverpool. Properties are being looted, buildings and cars burned, people attacked - nothing and no one is spared from the wrath of the rioters.

How did all this boil down to this? Everyone has an opinion. Some say it's the youth's discontentment with the economy and/or government. Others say it was an instigated act of violence to topple Prime Minister David Cameron's administration. Few also believe this has a link to racial discrimination. But amidst all the confusion the fact remains the same: Britain is on the verge of a societal collapse. If the crisis is not averted soon, this may end up becoming a scene from Alan Moore's "V for Vendetta", where the public marched in anger against the iron-fisted regime of fictional fascist leader Adam Susan.

But how soon can this crisis be resolved? The Metropolitan Police has its hands full - even with 32,000 sworn officers, 9,000 special constables and community officers, as well as 14,000 civilian staff, they have to raise the numbers on duty to 16,000 in this week. And if that's not enough, officers have to work long hours just to ensure the streets are safe from rioters. Through social media and blogs, officers who have posted in the time of the riots have expressed themselves on what it is like to go through the daily horrors that plague much of London now. One officer, in his Twitter post, said: "Sunday 23hr shift. break pre-briefing + snacks/2 bottles water. No further food/water supplied. Monday 18hr shift. No break/water/food."

Hours later, the same officer posted this: "Been pelted with again with bottles and bricks. Looting happening everywhere. 15hr shift & counting."

PC Richard Stanley posted a picture of stressed out police colleagues resting, their heads slumped on canteen tables, exhausted both mentally and physically after the long, long hours (and days) of hard work through the brutality they face. That image is a very strong message that shows how the police are so seriously affected just to keep order in check across London.

But the police aren't just the only ones being brutalized. Fellow Malaysian Mohammed Ashraf Haziq was attacked and robbed and left to bleed, before being robbed again; Tariq Jahan, killed by looters as he and two Asian friends patrolled their neighbourhood in Birmingham; Polish woman Monika Konzyk, who had to leap from her burning flat set alight by looters; there are many more unnamed and unknown individuals out there who are suffering just as much yet are not given any form of aid, what with the police having their hands full.

Britain is losing face in the eyes of the global community. Many individuals have slammed against Cameron's ineffectiveness; his vacation trip that somehow coincided with his deputy's holiday; the proposed plan to cut the police's budget by about £2 million; and so much more. The nation's credibility as a free, peaceful, democratic nation is being chiselled away by these turn of events - and fast, if I may add. As Monika herself put it after her ordeal: "I thought London was a civilized society full of gentlemen and ladies - but it's not like that. England has become a sick country."

It's becoming a serious mess now, the situation.

But thankfully, there are still a handful of people who still have a heart of gold. These individuals, though not many, come out into the streets to clean up the debris and, for some like Philippa Morgan-Walker and her husband Johnny, handing out light refreshments and snacks to weary officers after battling the protesters for hours without any rest. Others have voiced out their support to policemen who pass by, with some even asking why couldn't the violence be meted out on an equal scale. Even in these dark hours, these few men and women showed that, despite all its faults, Britain is still full of Good Samaritans that has not fully caught the public eye. Even in Clapham Junction, there have been many inspirational scrawlings on walls and such that show how much support the police is receiving from the general public. One quote I like is this particularly vocal one: "You can shatter our glass but not our community!"

Apart from that, Tariq's father Jahan made public his hopes that things would change. Even though his son was killed, he did not demand that revenge was served. His message was clear: "I don't want any of you to fight." He is a prime example we should all salute in the ensuing chaos.

After reading so much about the disorder happening there, it actually made me realize that society has degraded so far in the years that passed. In England itself, a lot of people blame the education system for being the cause of creating so many unruly youngsters. But it's not confined to just the British: many other countries, like that of Libya, Egypt and Syria, are going through anarchy in the people's desperate fight for freedom from tyranny and oppression. As Raja Zarith Idris herself stated in her article in the recent Sunday Star, she has noted that society's attraction to materialistic wealth has taken a big toll on the world community. Moral values and virtues have become a thing of the past now. And that has led to these events.

Even Malaysia itself is a victim of many internal conflicts. But I leave that to the politicians until the next elections.

Raja Zarith Idris's opinions echo very well the problems Mankind needs to overcome before it can achieve peace. I find it very unnerving to read this particular passage in her article, which highlights the truth of our current situation:

A couple of years ago, I was flipping through one of those glossy society magazines and I saw a designer handbag that costs RM90,000. Would I have asked my husband to buy it for me? No, because the sight of those flood victims standing in line to receive just RM500 makes such a purchase sinful. How many families would the cost of that handbag help feed?

We should learn from the mistakes of Britain. Perhaps from there, our road to salvation will be much more uneventful.

Cheers all. And God bless the Met for their continued endeavours to keep London safe.

(Sourced from news reports from Guardian News and Media, The Daily Telegraph and the Sunday Star)

We Are Like Monsters To Each Other

Take a good look in the mirror.

Think of 10 things that make you who you are.

Voice them out loud.

Think of 3 things you feel needs a makeover.

Voice those out loud too.

Process all that you've thought and said.

The time it takes for you to do both has a very large difference.

It's been said before that a person can only say nothing but praise for himself/herself and disgust for others deemed of a lower class in any aspect. Vice versa applies.

Now, think of 20 people you dislike.

From that list cut it down to the top 5 you hate.

Easy?

Now, apart from your parents and your true-to-life BFFs, list 6 people who have changed your life for the better. And I don't mean simple changes. In simple terms, people who brought the MOST PROFOUND changes in you - changes that have shaped you to become someone new, or someone better.

How about that?

Process all that you've thought and said.

Better rearrange your priorities.

On another note (one which is related to this post) I would like all of you to know that if you hate me down to the smallest bone, then I'm not going to make you change. Keep it to yourselves. And keep it up, for all I care. Fuck up my life if it makes you happy. I bend and break like any other ordinary human. But I relish the challenge.

So adieu for now.

Entries

Yes? No? What then?

Answers!

I need answers

Not more questions

And who said anything

About questions being the answers?

That's not the case

Not in this context

'tis a rainy day

Raindrops pattering

On the window

Visibility is poor

I cannot even see

The view of the countryside

That the train passes by

Where did this rain cloud come from?

No matter

I need a solution

Now, if possible

The stranger's cryptic remarks

Always leave me dangling

Wanting more

But none I receive

Such an illusive man

I had hoped

He would be here

To tell me what I missed

To guide me the right way

But he does not show

And thankfully

Nor the Devil

In our previous conversation

He had mentioned

I lacked something

And if I found it

It may mean

My life would be complete

I knew what he had hinted at

But I told myself

"No more!

'tis not for one such as I

I am unfeeling no more

All I am

Is but a shadow of my former self

And so I shall remain

Forever"

The stranger would not agree

With my statement

IF he were here

He always believes

In second chances

But I?

I do not take chances so easily

Unless I believe in the outcome

Which in this case

I don't

I drum my fingers on the sill

Gazing out

At the rain

Harley on the seat opposite me

Watching me

With his cute blue eyes

Perhaps wondering

If I am alright

But he does not comprehend

How complicated we humans are

Complicated?

Or making things complicated?

Both, I suppose

Long ago

I was like the others

Just like my friends

Those I believe are the lucky few

I thought I was complete

I thought, finally

I had something I only dreamed of having

A treasure

Though incomparable to family

But nevertheless

A treasure

But in the end

I lost it

I died

So to speak

I failed

I fell from grace

(So to speak)

And now

Here I stand

Unwilling to return to such days

The past shall remain so

And I shall see to it

Aye, they were good times

But that was then

This is now

I cannot return to those days

For returning

Will only cause me

More anguish

More trouble

And trouble was never my friend

But day in, day out

The question bugs me

The stranger's comments bug me

How he continues to remind me

By accident

That the road is far from over

"You may have been hurt,"

He had said

"But that does not mean

It will define you in future

We cannot control fate

But we should not let fate

Master our very lives

Ere you condemn yourself

To a life of suffering

For eternity"

So yes? No? What then?

I pen it all down

Skeptical about the matter

Skeptical about the truth

If it is the truth

If it is what I lack

If it is possible

To return to those days

If

Entries

Watching the news

As the train trundles on

Such disheartening events

That are unfolding

In these recent days

I sit in my cabin

Troubled

As Harley chases a ball

He know not

What is going on

But blame him I don't

History

Has been marked

By centuries of bloodshed

That which

In my opinion

Were pointless efforts

What drives us

To such barbarity?

To commit sin?

To shatter our fragile peace?

They coveted power

They desired wealth

They wanted fame

Fame and glory

They even wanted

To be venerated

As gods

The list goes on

The door slid open

And the stranger came in

Footsteps as silent

As a wild cat

He looked at the TV

And smirked

"You have a lot of time,"

I tell him

Condescendingly

He gazed at me

And shrugged

"I take the time,"

He simply stated

Taking a seat opposite mine

Pouring a cup of tea

For himself

"I see the news worries you,"

He said softly

Smiling at Harley's antics

"Indeed it does,"

I reply with a heavy sigh

"And you?

You don't seem to be concerned"

"I've grown to live with them,"

He answered nonchalantly

Sipping at his drink

And then setting it down

On a coaster

Where did that come from?

"Really?"

I was surprised

The world is still his home

How can he not concern himself

With what we are doing

"Simple, really

I tell myself

'This is not my doing

I am not responsible for it'

And I let it slide

Easy as that"

"But aren't the people

Still responsible

For what their leaders

Are to decide?"

Says I

But he waved it off

"Nay, young one,"

Says he, eyes burning bright

"It's more complicated

We are all to be blamed

For not playing a role

In preventing all the bloodshed

The anarchy

The sorrow

The misery

The agony

The pain

It cannot go away

So fast"

"You contradict yourself,"

I tell him

Reminding him of his earlier remark

He nods, clearly remembering

"I do not judge myself

In the matters

That do not relate to me"

I raised an eyebrow

Quizzical

"You confuse me, stranger

I'll give you that"

He grinned

And raised his glass

"I try," he commented

Slyly

And drank down his tea

"But what's important

Is that Humanity

Does not linger

On its past failures

Merely, move on

And use those failures

As sharp reminders

That they have a long journey ahead

All that needs change

For all the good to return

Is a change in attitude"

"Attitude?

How so?"

I ask him

But he was already up

And was about to leave

"You're not leaving

Until you answer me, stranger"

He turned to look back

Smiling

"In time, young one

You'll understand

But-"

Here he raised

His index finger

And pointed it to me

"You have not

The difference maker

In you yet

So be patient"

He stepped out of the cabin

Closing the door

Leaving me perplexed

More than ever

I got up

Opened the door

And when I looked

There was no one

Not a soul

From the next cabin

One of the passengers

Came out

I went to him

"Excuse me, sir

Have you by chance

Seen a man

Dressed very smartly

Pass by the corridor"

The passenger gave me

A look

"I'm afraid not," he said

Before he trotted off

I sighed

Scratching my head

The difference maker?

Not yet in me?

What does that mean?

I return to the cabin

And I pen down

The words of the stranger

Wondering what he meant

Wondering what is

This difference maker

Wondering