A Bold Plan!

I have lots of plans, but I just wonder if they'll work out the way I want them to.

One of these plans is to start up a blog for one purpose: introduce budding Malaysian writers to the world. I even thought up of the name for the blog: Writer's Block.

LOL. Well, I might think of another name. It's still work in progress, after all.

And hey, it might just work.

All I need are (a lot of) volunteers: people who can help administrate the blog, add content, update the blog regularly, plus sponsors, editors, proof readers, subject matter experts, academic professionals, and of course a steady stream of future authors to contribute their work regularly.

All are welcome to help out whatever way they can. And it'd be great if you can pull in some sponsors and even real authors to give some help and publicity. I think I'll contact the Star and see if they can lend a hand, too. Fingers crossed.

Once the blog is up and running, then we can start spreading word of it to friends, family and whoever wants to contribute. Heck, someday somebody's piece might expand to become a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel!

And when more support is given, we can expand and accomodate more activities: workshops, seminars, public activities - I mean, who knows what might just crop up? I'm thinking setting up a fund for the poor and underprivileged communities, book fairs, book giveaways; the possibilities are endless!

Of course, small steps first.

Now you must be asking why I want to do this. There's a temptation to reply "Why, cannot ah?" but of course, that doesn't explain anything. Well, it just got me thinking: I'm definitely not the only one who wants to write novels as good as King, Ludlum, Lovecraft (I mean, why not?), Clancy, Adams, Clarke and many others. There are lots of others whose writing prowess is waiting to be revealed. So why not start a platofmr for them? There haven't really been many initiatives that I know of, and most of them basically involve getting more people to read, or competitions organized in school. (Sorry, I haven't done much research on this at the time of publication >< guilty as charged!) So maybe this may just open up new windows for these people.

Yeah, I really am quite fired up for this. But I can imagine that it won't be easy. But even if simple men and women can think of revolutionary new ideas that have successfully made the world better, why can't I?

So if any one of you are willing to contribute, PLEASE do! It might just give us a chance at changing things for the better!

New Thoughts

Jerk, noun: [Slang] a person regarded as disagreeable, despicable, etc.
(Sourced from Webster's New World Dictionary, published 1995)

This is going to be quite a tell-all.

Have you ever had a day when your good intentions are suddenly warped and twisted just because of a few words or because of one action? I'm sure we've all had our days. Come to think of it, I've had a huge share of those problems.

Frank Sinatra sang: "Regrets, I've had a few./But then again, too few to mention." If I said I had no regrets at all - not a single one ever - then I'd be lying. In fact, I've piled them up in one corner for myself to see. The details are fuzzy, but they're there in my head. What a way to remind myself of all my faults.

Even after a massive fallout, I'd always be the first to simmer down and realize how foolish I was. But of course, at that time, the damage is already done. Can I still mend the wounds? I can only hope so.

If you saw the definition of "jerk" at the start of the post, you'd probably wonder if the term has any connection to me. I've been branded a jerk before, and yes, initially I didn't like it. But in time I decided I shouldn't allow myself to be adversely affected by one word. If people were to consider me to be a jerk, I won't say they're right nor wrong. Nobody is really in the right, let alone the wrong. For all I know, they might be considered a jerk to another person.

So who wants to start pointing fingers? Forget it, you're not going anywhere if you did.

From what I have learned from the tell-all weeks ago, instead of letting myself drown under the weight of the grief and misery generated by my mind - and including the negative feedback from the detractors - I'm gonna have to live with the consequences. It's a fact. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, that's what they say.

If I have to live with them, then it's a challenge I should accept. And while they may continue to trouble me for many more weeks, perhaps even months, no matter how much they tug at my mind, I'll have to ignore them if I don't want history to repeat itself.

As Publilius Syrus said: "How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself." I will have to forgive myself for the things I shouldn't have done. All that's left is for them to choose to forgive me.

I can tell you right now, if I could turn back time, there would be so many wrongs that I could right. So many chances I missed that I could take up. So much could be changed for the better! And, in fact, I may even find myself where I belong.

If I could turn back time, so much could have been changed:
I'd never have angered my friends while in Primary and even in Lower Secondary;
I'd never have acted so stupidly back in Form Four;
(All because of muddled emotions; one of the worst mistakes I'd ever done. If ever I could meet her again, I wouldn't hesitate to say sorry for it)
I'd never have let history repeat itself the following year;
I'd probably have avoided a verbal fight with my classmate;
(Thankfully we've mended bridges)
I'd never lost another friend because of my forgetfulness;
(Jean, if you're reading this, I'm terribly sorry. I truly am. A year on and I have never gotten over it. I never should have forgotten Leroy's card, and I wish you would forgive me for it)
I'd have stopped my friend from doing something stupid;
I'd have stopped myself for trusting my 'gut instincts';
I'd never have hurt her - and myself - because of my immaturity;
(You know I mean you; even when you forgave me for it, it will forever remain a black stain in the story of my life)
I'd never have fallen so deep into despair and self-loathing;
(One of the lowest points in my entire life; thank you to those who have helped me find new meaning in my life, and for adding value to it)
I'd never have acted like a jerk and said things I will continue to regret.

And that's just a tip of the iceberg.

Losing a friend is one of the most painful things that I've experienced - twice, maybe thrice considering what I said last Friday. It's like getting stabbed in the heart and adding lots of salt to the wound. And then letting it fester and become gangrenous. That's how much it stings. When am I ever going to permanently remind myself not to break more bonds of friendship?

But all that's in the past now. Best to move on and remember the lessons I've learned on the way.

At the same time, I thank Kuan Yin for being so gracious and caring even when I faced these arduous tests. My strong connection with my religion, though not as strong as it should be, has helped me see through these perilous times. And of course, there's the support from my extended family, who have shown me that it's not the end of the world.

And I pray I won't have to go through these tests anymore; for if I repeat them again then let it be known that my sins shall not be absolved until I find a way to right the wrongs, lest my soul be damned and taken to the bowels of Hell to suffer for all eternity. This I vow.

This I vow.

If you're reading this, I hope I've made certain things clear. I thank those who have shown me they still care, and I will do whatever I can to change for the better.

If you're one of the few people mentioned, whether directly or indirectly, I won't force you to make a decision in an instant. I can't promise that I won't make the same mistake again in future. (And, fingers crossed, it won't!) But if you allow me to find the time and effort to rebuild our broken trust, I will not let this chance slip from my hands anymore. As I have vowed above, if I lose that chance, then it would mean the end of me.

I'll be as open and transparent as I can. If you have questions, don't hesitate to ask. I'll answer the best as I can. And I promise you it'll be nothing but the truth.

And please do me the favor of sharing this. It's intended for all of you: even those who stand divided from me, and for those whom I've already lost. Thank you.

Show Me The Meaning...

...of true suffering
...of being lonely
...of psychological torture
...of love
...of hate
...of willpower
...of true friendship
...of strength
...of spiritual rebirth
...of sweet success
...of pain
...of misery
...of poverty
...of dread
...of despair
...of being close to Death
...of great burdens
...of talent
...of perseverance
...of patience
...of determination
...of stamina
...of trust
...of the past, of the present, and of the future

If I knew what they really mean to a man, mayhaps I may understand what it means to suffer - and what it takes to break from the bonds of suffering.

Oh that my grief were thoroughly weighed, and my calamity laid in the balances together!For now it would be heavier than the sand of the sea: therefore my words are swallowed up.For the arrows of the Almighty are within me, the poison whereof drinks up my spirit: the terrors of God do set themselves in array against me.~ Job 6:2-4

The London Crisis: A Post

For this post, I will take this opportunity to salute and praise the English police forces for their valiant efforts in keeping the rioters at bay in the days that have seen some of the worst rioting throughout the nation in decades, not forgetting the 2009 riot at the G20 summit, where a man was killed by a police officer while trying to control the demonstration.

It's not an easy job, being a policeman - especially in a tumultuous time like this. What started off as small-scale protests eventually flared into nationwide panic that has drowned many parts of London - from Tottenham, Clapham and Catford, to Birmingham, Manchester and Liverpool. Properties are being looted, buildings and cars burned, people attacked - nothing and no one is spared from the wrath of the rioters.

How did all this boil down to this? Everyone has an opinion. Some say it's the youth's discontentment with the economy and/or government. Others say it was an instigated act of violence to topple Prime Minister David Cameron's administration. Few also believe this has a link to racial discrimination. But amidst all the confusion the fact remains the same: Britain is on the verge of a societal collapse. If the crisis is not averted soon, this may end up becoming a scene from Alan Moore's "V for Vendetta", where the public marched in anger against the iron-fisted regime of fictional fascist leader Adam Susan.

But how soon can this crisis be resolved? The Metropolitan Police has its hands full - even with 32,000 sworn officers, 9,000 special constables and community officers, as well as 14,000 civilian staff, they have to raise the numbers on duty to 16,000 in this week. And if that's not enough, officers have to work long hours just to ensure the streets are safe from rioters. Through social media and blogs, officers who have posted in the time of the riots have expressed themselves on what it is like to go through the daily horrors that plague much of London now. One officer, in his Twitter post, said: "Sunday 23hr shift. break pre-briefing + snacks/2 bottles water. No further food/water supplied. Monday 18hr shift. No break/water/food."

Hours later, the same officer posted this: "Been pelted with again with bottles and bricks. Looting happening everywhere. 15hr shift & counting."

PC Richard Stanley posted a picture of stressed out police colleagues resting, their heads slumped on canteen tables, exhausted both mentally and physically after the long, long hours (and days) of hard work through the brutality they face. That image is a very strong message that shows how the police are so seriously affected just to keep order in check across London.

But the police aren't just the only ones being brutalized. Fellow Malaysian Mohammed Ashraf Haziq was attacked and robbed and left to bleed, before being robbed again; Tariq Jahan, killed by looters as he and two Asian friends patrolled their neighbourhood in Birmingham; Polish woman Monika Konzyk, who had to leap from her burning flat set alight by looters; there are many more unnamed and unknown individuals out there who are suffering just as much yet are not given any form of aid, what with the police having their hands full.

Britain is losing face in the eyes of the global community. Many individuals have slammed against Cameron's ineffectiveness; his vacation trip that somehow coincided with his deputy's holiday; the proposed plan to cut the police's budget by about £2 million; and so much more. The nation's credibility as a free, peaceful, democratic nation is being chiselled away by these turn of events - and fast, if I may add. As Monika herself put it after her ordeal: "I thought London was a civilized society full of gentlemen and ladies - but it's not like that. England has become a sick country."

It's becoming a serious mess now, the situation.

But thankfully, there are still a handful of people who still have a heart of gold. These individuals, though not many, come out into the streets to clean up the debris and, for some like Philippa Morgan-Walker and her husband Johnny, handing out light refreshments and snacks to weary officers after battling the protesters for hours without any rest. Others have voiced out their support to policemen who pass by, with some even asking why couldn't the violence be meted out on an equal scale. Even in these dark hours, these few men and women showed that, despite all its faults, Britain is still full of Good Samaritans that has not fully caught the public eye. Even in Clapham Junction, there have been many inspirational scrawlings on walls and such that show how much support the police is receiving from the general public. One quote I like is this particularly vocal one: "You can shatter our glass but not our community!"

Apart from that, Tariq's father Jahan made public his hopes that things would change. Even though his son was killed, he did not demand that revenge was served. His message was clear: "I don't want any of you to fight." He is a prime example we should all salute in the ensuing chaos.

After reading so much about the disorder happening there, it actually made me realize that society has degraded so far in the years that passed. In England itself, a lot of people blame the education system for being the cause of creating so many unruly youngsters. But it's not confined to just the British: many other countries, like that of Libya, Egypt and Syria, are going through anarchy in the people's desperate fight for freedom from tyranny and oppression. As Raja Zarith Idris herself stated in her article in the recent Sunday Star, she has noted that society's attraction to materialistic wealth has taken a big toll on the world community. Moral values and virtues have become a thing of the past now. And that has led to these events.

Even Malaysia itself is a victim of many internal conflicts. But I leave that to the politicians until the next elections.

Raja Zarith Idris's opinions echo very well the problems Mankind needs to overcome before it can achieve peace. I find it very unnerving to read this particular passage in her article, which highlights the truth of our current situation:

A couple of years ago, I was flipping through one of those glossy society magazines and I saw a designer handbag that costs RM90,000. Would I have asked my husband to buy it for me? No, because the sight of those flood victims standing in line to receive just RM500 makes such a purchase sinful. How many families would the cost of that handbag help feed?

We should learn from the mistakes of Britain. Perhaps from there, our road to salvation will be much more uneventful.

Cheers all. And God bless the Met for their continued endeavours to keep London safe.

(Sourced from news reports from Guardian News and Media, The Daily Telegraph and the Sunday Star)

We Are Like Monsters To Each Other

Take a good look in the mirror.

Think of 10 things that make you who you are.

Voice them out loud.

Think of 3 things you feel needs a makeover.

Voice those out loud too.

Process all that you've thought and said.

The time it takes for you to do both has a very large difference.

It's been said before that a person can only say nothing but praise for himself/herself and disgust for others deemed of a lower class in any aspect. Vice versa applies.

Now, think of 20 people you dislike.

From that list cut it down to the top 5 you hate.

Easy?

Now, apart from your parents and your true-to-life BFFs, list 6 people who have changed your life for the better. And I don't mean simple changes. In simple terms, people who brought the MOST PROFOUND changes in you - changes that have shaped you to become someone new, or someone better.

How about that?

Process all that you've thought and said.

Better rearrange your priorities.

On another note (one which is related to this post) I would like all of you to know that if you hate me down to the smallest bone, then I'm not going to make you change. Keep it to yourselves. And keep it up, for all I care. Fuck up my life if it makes you happy. I bend and break like any other ordinary human. But I relish the challenge.

So adieu for now.

There Is No Way They Will Wake Up

I do not mean the people who are in a vegetative state. I mean the unenlightened people - people who don't seem to realize there's more to Life than just wasting time doing nothing, understanding nothing.

Knowledge is power; how can you not see that? If we want to become bright minds of tomorrow then we should not stop learning. But you assume that you have no need for all this knowledge. It's only because you were FORCED to learn that you begin to read. If there was no force to make you read, then if given the choice you definitely wouldn't, would you?

When you believe you've learned enough, you can never learn any more. No matter how much you force yourself to, you will never be able to expand your existing knowledge base. Would you rather be left behind in the tide of change than embrace it? If 'yes' is your answer, you are already a lost cause.

It's such a shame you choose to live in ignorance. There are so many people who wish to learn, but cannot because of the state in which they live in. You - you have a chance to become someone who can change the very nature of the world with the knowledge you possess. You are lucky to be given this chance. Instead, you throw it away into the wind.

What a shame, what a shame.

As the saying goes: "knowledge is power; guard it well." For the poor sods who'd rather throw it away, the quote would be "knowledge is a waste of my time."

We'll see.

Insights: Of Tolerance and Opinions

Just recently I received a religious joke and, I admit, found it funny. But when I shared it with another, she was offended.

So before I continue I humbly apologize to anyone else who shares the same sentiments as this friend of mine. I've learned well from the experience.

It made me think about tolerance: what do we really tolerate? And in the context of sensitive issues such as this, how much CAN we tolerate?

It is undeniable that tolerance is a virtue. With it, we can actually put up with the numerous behaviors Man can provide - no matter how absurd or horrifying it may be. Some people have the tolerance level of a Zen monk. Some others are gravely offended by even the smallest of quirks. Some let it slide. Others find it difficult to forgive and forget.

But what do we tolerate?

For some, tolerance is invaluable. Certain quarters (usually a very small minority of the world's population) find it very easy to just brush something aside as light-hearted humor. Despite the message it may carry, or the implications it may bring in the long run, these men and women can just laugh it off and forget about it almost immediately so that they can avoid unwanted confrontations that can end even the strongest of friendships. How these people actually hold up to even some of the most insulting remarks is beyond anyone's comprehension. Some would call them "not right in their heads," but they're just as normal as you and I.

There have been instances where people who have a high amount of tolerance can turn things around to work for him. Enemies can become friends, bad situations turn into good ones, etctera. While these may sound like they come from some hit TV dramas, they are a reality. It's just that we've never seen it happen before, nor have we experience something like it. It's something like friends having a blast from poking fun at a fellow buddy, but at the end of the day they still go out for a drink and share lots of laughs without caring of what they said.

You might say it's nothing to do with tolerance. But believe me, if you look closely it's very deeply intertwined in that example.

On the other side of the fence though, there still exists handfuls of people who take offense pretty easily. It's not that they have no sense of humor or because they're overly-sensitive. It's the same as how some people prefer chocolate ice cream and others strawberry ice cream. (Personally I enjoy both!) They just have different opinions about what is being discussed, for isn't that what separates us from the rest? So while you might enjoy Russell Peter's antics as he seemingly insults numerous races across the globe, some may find it grossly racist. To them, making such jokes does not have any logical rational or even simply for comedy's sake. But should we really blame them?

The pro-tolerance people would shrug it off and get on with life. The opposites would definitely find lots to complain about, or would prefer to quietly keep it to themselves. IF you do want to tell me that you're either going with the former or the latter or, perhaps, just sit on the fence, I got no say to your choice. When it comes to tolerance, our choice of opinions matter most.

In a world where the little things could spark the largest of conflicts, it's no surprise that we have a very equal number of opposites in the subject of thinking. It's not like I want to separate Man into two or more separate camps in the school of thought, but merely point out everyone has their opinions on anything. If you ask anyone the same question, you're bound to get a lot of different answers to it. It's unavoidable. Everyone has their say, depending on their beliefs and principles.

If I ask you about euthanasia (mercy killing/pulling the plug; this shall be discussed in a later article) I'm definitely sure you have your thoughts. Some of you may agree that patients have a right to choose whether to live or not; some of you will feel death is not the final solution. It's all a matter of opinion. (Though on the subject of euthanasia, I have my doubts on the implications of legalizing it. More later)

As I was about to finish this up, I decided to ask my friend (the one whom I had told the joke to) of her opinion on the matter. She said: "Well, I would give that person the look and say that's not nice. Not because I'm religious but as a person with some common sense, we shouldn't make fun of people's beliefs."

So to end this topic, I would like to ask you the same question I asked her: if a friend of yours were to make a religious/racist joke - note that the term is JOKE, not REMARK, please; there is a large difference between both terms - and did not actually mean to insult or offend any parties, how would you react - especially if your religion/race is mentioned? Would you pass it off as 'comedy', or would you reprimand your friend for being so insolent? What is the reason for your reaction?

Do leave me your honest opinions after reading this. Your insights will help me understand the topic further and, maybe, we shall discuss it in depth. Cheers!

Entries

Yes? No? What then?

Answers!

I need answers

Not more questions

And who said anything

About questions being the answers?

That's not the case

Not in this context

'tis a rainy day

Raindrops pattering

On the window

Visibility is poor

I cannot even see

The view of the countryside

That the train passes by

Where did this rain cloud come from?

No matter

I need a solution

Now, if possible

The stranger's cryptic remarks

Always leave me dangling

Wanting more

But none I receive

Such an illusive man

I had hoped

He would be here

To tell me what I missed

To guide me the right way

But he does not show

And thankfully

Nor the Devil

In our previous conversation

He had mentioned

I lacked something

And if I found it

It may mean

My life would be complete

I knew what he had hinted at

But I told myself

"No more!

'tis not for one such as I

I am unfeeling no more

All I am

Is but a shadow of my former self

And so I shall remain

Forever"

The stranger would not agree

With my statement

IF he were here

He always believes

In second chances

But I?

I do not take chances so easily

Unless I believe in the outcome

Which in this case

I don't

I drum my fingers on the sill

Gazing out

At the rain

Harley on the seat opposite me

Watching me

With his cute blue eyes

Perhaps wondering

If I am alright

But he does not comprehend

How complicated we humans are

Complicated?

Or making things complicated?

Both, I suppose

Long ago

I was like the others

Just like my friends

Those I believe are the lucky few

I thought I was complete

I thought, finally

I had something I only dreamed of having

A treasure

Though incomparable to family

But nevertheless

A treasure

But in the end

I lost it

I died

So to speak

I failed

I fell from grace

(So to speak)

And now

Here I stand

Unwilling to return to such days

The past shall remain so

And I shall see to it

Aye, they were good times

But that was then

This is now

I cannot return to those days

For returning

Will only cause me

More anguish

More trouble

And trouble was never my friend

But day in, day out

The question bugs me

The stranger's comments bug me

How he continues to remind me

By accident

That the road is far from over

"You may have been hurt,"

He had said

"But that does not mean

It will define you in future

We cannot control fate

But we should not let fate

Master our very lives

Ere you condemn yourself

To a life of suffering

For eternity"

So yes? No? What then?

I pen it all down

Skeptical about the matter

Skeptical about the truth

If it is the truth

If it is what I lack

If it is possible

To return to those days

If

Insights: Strength Within

Do you read the papers regularly? Honestly, I'll admit that I don't take the trouble to do so, but once in a while I do pick it up to see what interesting or inspiring articles the daily would offer. And what I find always does give me inspiration.

Take the recent Star2 article (Sunday, June 12th) about a boy named Grayson Gilbert. If you don't read the Star, I'll print a few lines of the article here:

'The boy approached the marble statue, gazing up - miles up, as he remembers it now - into the face of the benevolent figure it depicted. 

It was May 8, 1996, and Grayson Gilbert, six, had a lot on his mind. 

A few months earlier, surgeons had found a tumour woven through his abdominal cavity... They'd removed his gall bladder, half his stomach and 80 percent of his pancreas. Chemotherapy had taken his hair.

And as he waited to see his doctors again, the boy was leaving a personal note at the feet of the sculpture of Jesus that has graced the foyer below the dome at John Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore since 1896. 

"Dear Jesus," it read in his wobbly hand. "This is Grayson. If you could, just heal the other kids please. Thank you very much." 

Jed Kirschbaum, a photographer for the Sun newspaper, happened to be in the room seeking an image to accompany an article the paper was running about the 100th anniversary of the statue. The photo he got off - of the frail boy in his orange baseball shirt, his hairless head illuminated by a shaft of light - hit the front page on Mother's Day and moved readers in a way few ever do. 

...There's no reason Grayson has emerged as a medical anomaly. But as he sits on the couch in his family home... one factor is impossible to miss. "I've always had this faith," he says, "that things are going to work out."'

Doctors only gave him a year to live - if he was lucky. At best, five years if he was one of a rare few. But now he's a communications major at Towson University after going through numerous life-threatening ordeals. What he suffered from was a rare medical condition, and even after recovering from that he went through many other complications that almost killed him. In fact, 'Grayson Gilbert still faces an uncertain future. The varices could flare up, as could many of his prior conditions if he doesn't stay on top of them.'

But his doctor says 'his condition is stable, that no road map exists but that Grayson should live a long life.'

Now, 21-year old Grayson has become somewhat of a symbol of hope to what I would say the lost, least and lonely - specifically those who suffer from terminal diseases like cancer. After the photo ran in the Sun, 'representatives of the Children's Miracle Network - childrensmiraclenetworkhospitals.org, the international organisation that raises funds for sick children - contacted Grayson. Before that year was up, the nonprofit [group] named him its ambassador for the state of Maryland. They flew the Gilberts to Florida, where they stayed at Disney World, met celebrities and spoke with others in their situation. The kid with cancer had another lease in life.'

Not only that, 'Grayson got it into his head to raise money for cancer research to "help the other kids."' With the help of officials from the Jos. A. Bank Clothiers, the company put his drawings onto neckties and over the last decade, 'Grayson and other patients from the John Hopkins Children's Center have designed "Miracle Ties" that have raised tens of thousands of dollars for the Children's Miracle Network.'

Shouldn't we see his strength as something we should learn? While we continue to grumble about how stupid this fellow is, or how dumb that subject is and so on, shouldn't we realize that all that continual complaining is only a waste of our time? Our time here on this Earth is just like Shakespeare's "brief candle." One day we will fade away from this mortal world. Shouldn't we be playing our part?

Stop and smell the flowers. Buy a child ice cream. Play with Down's Syndrome kids. Do something. We only have one life to give. Shouldn't we give for the sake of a greater good? What would you do if you were in Grayson's shoes?

If all you've ever done is gripe throughout your entire lifespan, then it's too late to regret.

Cheers, everyone.

More links:
http://www.reporterherald.com/print.asp?ID=32972
http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/sun-magazine/bs-sm-statue-grayson-gilbert-archives,0,1950296.story
http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/sun-magazine/bs-sm-cancer-survivor-20110522,0,465722.story

Entries

As I sat there

On the bench

Looking at the divergent tracks

One headed to the west

Another to the east

I can't help but think of

Robert Frost

And his poem

"The Road Not Taken"

Specifically:

"Two roads diverged in the wood

And I

I took the one less traveled by

And that has made all the difference"

Should I have expected this?

I looked around

Hoping the stranger would be here

To guide me

But I was alone

Me and the train

N0t any other soul in sight

So here I am

To make that choice

But which one

Will take me to where I wish to go?

If I ended up

Like Frost's persona

Regretful of the path taken

In the end

But how would I know

Until I took one path?

In my mind

The stranger's words whisper

Like a wind song

"Trust in yourself"

He said before

Several stations ago

Suddenly

Like a dirge

The Devil hissed

"Trust your instincts"

Where had his voice come from?

I looked around again

But no one

Not a soul in sight

Just me and the train

Is that so?

I look back

At the fork in the tracks

One leads to destiny

Another to obstacles

Perhaps a lot of them

I will not know

Until the choice is made

But the choice is there now

Am I to live

In regret

In doubt

In fear

Of the future that cannot be seen?

I remembered that

During an event

Only a while back

Whatever it is you say

You are prophesying upon yourself

That means

It will alter your thoughts

Your words

Your actions

It may even

Alter your ending

So should I just sit here

And be content

To just think

About choices

And consequences?

Rather than

Taking action

And hoping for the best

In the process

Of enduring Life

And its challenges

Rather than rot here

Sitting in silence

And doing absolutely nothing

I should be out there

Living my life

'Carpe diem', they say

And I should

The train's horn blares

Signalling

It was time to depart

I stood from my seat

Eyes still fixed

On the bend in the road

Bring it on

So I pen it all down

As the train edges closer

To the fork

Waiting to seize the day

Waiting to see what comes next

Waiting

Entries

The Devil came again

Only some nights ago

I was sure

He still harbored

A great deal of hate

Towards me and the stranger

After his previous visit

But if so

He did not show it

He sat calmly

Smoking a cigar

A Cuban vintage

As far as I could tell

Still looking crisp

In his shadow black tuxedo

As he stared at me

I couldn't help

But feel deeply

Uncomfortable

"You drive a hard bargain,"

Says he

A grin creased on his lips

One full of malice

I gulped

Not knowing how to reply

"Let's try one more time

Shall we?

All you have to do

Is offer your soul

To me

And in return

I will grant you

Everything you desire

It's as easy as 1, 2, 3"

"Do you really think

I'd just go along

With your schemes?"

I told him

Still a little frightened

By his presence

Where was the stranger

When I needed him the most?

"Of course you would!"

He replied excitedly

Standing from his seat

Looking all invigorated

"Mortals such as yourself

Are too easily driven

To commit sin

To pledge themselves

At the every whim

Of myself and my minions

Who can resist?"

I had to steel myself

If I allow myself to be coaxed

Into his eternal servitude

Nothing could ever redeem me

"The stranger has warned me

Of all your trickery

And your cunning

I won't be easily swayed"

He tsked away

Shaking his finger in disapproval

"No no no no no

We don't want any mention

Of that little old fool

It's obvious

He doesn't want you

To 'lose' your way

To the winning side

I've nothing to lose

By helping you

And he?

He has everything to lose!

So why listen to him?"

He edged closer

His eyes still on me

Like a hawk

A demonic hawk

"What do you desire most?

I know you desire

Something"

From his hands

He conjured an image

That of a woman

Sultry, beautiful, alluring

Someone whose face

Could launch a thousand ships

"I can give you

The most beautiful

And brilliant

Of all women across this world

One whose beauty

Rivals even that

Of the goddesses

Even Aphrodite

Would be envious of this mortal

And she would be yours

And yours alone"

The image disappeared

Replaced by a home

A mansion, in fact

As large as Central Park

"Or I can give you

More wealth than even

The combined riches

Of all the wealthiest men

Throughout the globe

Everything you wish to own

Be it a car, a computer or a company

Will be in your reach"

Another image

Cropped up

A man, presumably me

Surrounded by people

Of many different cultures

"I can give you power

Power beyond anyone's wishes

Power that will make you

The greatest man alive

Everyone will look to you

And say with pride

'There is Calvyn!

The most powerful man

The one who will lead us

To prosperity and peace'

The world will salute you

And millions will scream

Your name every day"

Yet another image

Another man

Surrounded by butlers

And handmaidens

In a palace bedroom

"I can even give you

The most pleasurable comforts

A man can hope for

Relax and unwind

As your every whim

Is answered

At the beck and call

Of an army of servants

Live a life of luxury

Never again will you leave

The solace of your home

Home sweet home"

The image disappeared

He placed his hands

By his side

And sat down again

"Just imagine

That is merely just the beginning

Open up to the possibilities!

What more could you ask for?

Everything

Everything

Has never been so close

To becoming true

And all you need to do

Is just ask

Ask for it"

I stayed silent

The stranger's resolve

Had already been imprinted

In my soul

And besides

I had so much to lose

If I took his offer

Why should I?

He shook his head

"Well, if you remain

Undecided

Then I won't force you

Think it through

Think it with a clear mind

And perhaps

You will see it

From my perspective

Toodles"

He vanished

In a bright flash of fire

Leaving nothing

But a blackened stain

On the floor

I sighed

Will this never end?

So I pen it all down

Hoping the Devil will stop

Hoping I will not fall

To his deceit

Hope

Words

Don't turn away
Dry your eyes
Don't be afraid
Don't keep it all inside
Don't fall apart
Just dry your eyes
Hush now
Life is always hard

Be strong
Be kind
Be faithful
Stay true to God
He wants to test you
He knows you can
So if He does
Shouldn't you stay strong?
Shouldn't you stand tall?

So don't turn away
Don't walk away
From the path He set you on
Stay strong
Stay on the path
Continue the journey

Have faith
Just have faith
When you do
Miracles can happen

Words

A longing for bygone days

Oh, where hast Time flown to?

Of friends who are no longer here,

Of teachers whose antics are remembered,

Of great memories,

Of laughter and tears.

Such times cannot be compared

Oh how we can rewind the clock!

We linger on those thoughts
We wish Life would be so again
But then again
We can't ask for so much

Whatever Time we have left

We need to use wisely

Time and Tide wait for no one

Is it worth it to keep waiting?

Letting opportunities slip away?

Is it worth it?

I've had enough of cryin'

Bleedin', sweatin', dyin'

Hear me when I say

Gonna live my life everyday

I'm gonna touch the sky

And I spread these wings and fly

I ain't here to play

I'm gonna live my life everyday!

I believe we waste our time with petty things

Petty arguments

Petty talk

Petty larceny

Much more than that

Is it really worth the effort?

When you want to make great leaps?

Doesn't a change in stance and style seem necessary?

Would you then realize all your troubles are temporary?

I see the light

And I believe

Though the road is long

It will never end.

All we need is change

Faith

Trust

And a lot of willpower

To get to where we want to go.

Can you?

Words

I turned away because I thought you were the problem
Tried to forget until I hit the bottom
But when I faced you in my blank confusion
I realized you weren't wrong, it was a mere illusion.

It really didn't make sense

Just to leave this unresolved

It's not hard to go the distance

When you finally get involved face to face.

So tell me what you want to hear

Something that were like those years

Sick of all the insincere

So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

And this time

I don't need another perfect line

Don't care if critics never jump in line

I'm gonna give all my secrets away.

In time, of course.

Words

Who is the man I see

Where I'm supposed to be?

I lost my heart,

I buried it too deep

Under the iron sea.

And is there glory there to behold?
Maybe it's my imagination.
Another story there to be told.

But can there really be salvation?

When you're close to tears, remember

Someday it will all be over.

But when?

Life is a long and arduous journey.

Everyone knows that.

But while everybody's changing,

I don't feel the same.

I feel sidelined.
Sidetracked.
Sideswiped even.
When will it all end?

All I wanna do is trade this Life for something new

Holding on to what I haven't got.

(If you just realized this, I actually borrowed lines from numerous songs to my posts.)