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Conversation

Over a cup of tea

Sitting with

The stranger

Smiling knowingly

I wish

I knew what he knew

"But can you handle

The secrets

That I hold?"

Such an enigma

But he knows

His purpose

I digress

"I feel

A creative edge

Coming to me

But yet

I do not know

How to hone it"

He looks at me

Eyes glinting

"It takes time

To train yourself

To do something new

I hear

Whispers

You wish to learn

How to play the chords

Of musical harmony?

And sing

To your heart's desire?"

I nod

He nods in return

"I see

Not easy

It is

To learn that

And more

In such a short span of time

Tread slowly

This is no race

Rushing yourself

Will not get you anywhere

But to frustration

And anger

And that edge you thought you had

Will be lost

Forever"

"Forever?"

I frown

Sipping on my tea

"I doubt it

I have to try

After all

The first step is key"

"Aye," he agrees

"But remember

It is not always

About willpower alone

It is belief

In yourself

Do you believe in yourself?"

I try to answer

But

"No

Not yet

Do not deny it"

He knows me

Too well

"Well, you can try"

He continues

"I did not say

You can't

But remember

You need to know

You can do it"

"A Spartan

Is born to fight

Such is his destiny

As a child

He is mastered

In the art

Of war

And bloodshed

It is akin

To sharpening a blade

It may be a good sword

Powerful

Dangerous

But it still needs to stay sharp

To stay lethal

What use is a sword

That cuts not

Even hay?"

He drinks his tea

Looking out the window

As we make our way

"Creativity

Is just the same

You need to build it up

And improve it

And maintain it

Like how one sharpens the sword"

"Start from scratch

Stay confident

Have faith

It's just like

Making this journey

If you lose your faith

And your vision

What worth are you

To anyone?

What good

Is the destination

When you've given up

On it?

And

If you lose your creativity

What good are you

If you cannot

Master the craft

You intend to master?"

"What do you fear?

Everyone fears

Failure?

It is normal

Accept failure

As a part

And parcel

Of your life

Let it slide

Work through

The humiliation

The embarrassment

The pain

The hurt

The fear

Work through

Your weakness

You'll find your way"

"Can I?"

I ask

Politely

He scoffs

A cold glare

"Already you doubt?"

And then

He laughs

Merrily

"Change your ways"

He adds

"Maybe

In time

You'll see for yourself"

And again

Gone

Without a word

So I pen it all down

As I am wont to do

Faith

Belief

Both

Are like a shield

From fear

From doubt

Keeping the mind

Clear

Focused

Empowered

But

Have I found it?

In time perhaps

In time

In time

Time

A Bold Plan!

I have lots of plans, but I just wonder if they'll work out the way I want them to.

One of these plans is to start up a blog for one purpose: introduce budding Malaysian writers to the world. I even thought up of the name for the blog: Writer's Block.

LOL. Well, I might think of another name. It's still work in progress, after all.

And hey, it might just work.

All I need are (a lot of) volunteers: people who can help administrate the blog, add content, update the blog regularly, plus sponsors, editors, proof readers, subject matter experts, academic professionals, and of course a steady stream of future authors to contribute their work regularly.

All are welcome to help out whatever way they can. And it'd be great if you can pull in some sponsors and even real authors to give some help and publicity. I think I'll contact the Star and see if they can lend a hand, too. Fingers crossed.

Once the blog is up and running, then we can start spreading word of it to friends, family and whoever wants to contribute. Heck, someday somebody's piece might expand to become a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel!

And when more support is given, we can expand and accomodate more activities: workshops, seminars, public activities - I mean, who knows what might just crop up? I'm thinking setting up a fund for the poor and underprivileged communities, book fairs, book giveaways; the possibilities are endless!

Of course, small steps first.

Now you must be asking why I want to do this. There's a temptation to reply "Why, cannot ah?" but of course, that doesn't explain anything. Well, it just got me thinking: I'm definitely not the only one who wants to write novels as good as King, Ludlum, Lovecraft (I mean, why not?), Clancy, Adams, Clarke and many others. There are lots of others whose writing prowess is waiting to be revealed. So why not start a platofmr for them? There haven't really been many initiatives that I know of, and most of them basically involve getting more people to read, or competitions organized in school. (Sorry, I haven't done much research on this at the time of publication >< guilty as charged!) So maybe this may just open up new windows for these people.

Yeah, I really am quite fired up for this. But I can imagine that it won't be easy. But even if simple men and women can think of revolutionary new ideas that have successfully made the world better, why can't I?

So if any one of you are willing to contribute, PLEASE do! It might just give us a chance at changing things for the better!

Behold the 20th Century

Welcome to a whole new Earth: where the wind carries the howls of the dead, where gods and daemons wage a secret war, and where Mankind will be tested to its very limits in a conflict that will determine the birth of a new civilization.


The Rain has changed everything. What remains of Humanity now live separated, a shattered race that is nothing but a shadow of its former glory. Even in such a dire state, the fires of war have begun to burn once more.


The call to arms tolls for the brave, and there may be no return from the war that will ensue. Who will you stand for? The Technocracy and its mastery of science and technology? The Magi and their mastery of arcane magicks? Or the Host and their fanatical belief in a unifying New Religion?


Or perhaps you serve a power still higher?


Whoever you side with, expect anything: Death may only be a corner from where you stand. It is not a world of peace and harmony that you knew. The heroes of the past are long dead; heroism itself seems to be nothing but a dream. Your friends may turn into enemies, and your enemies may make good allies. But how long can you trust any of them?


Earth is now an unforgiving place to call home. It would seem as if the Void itself had poured its malice into the mortal plane after the Rain. But if it weren't for the dark secrets that lie buried deep in its crust, even the gods would think twice to tread upon this world.


I'm beginning a new series of short sci-fi stories set in this chaotic new Earth. Think of it as... the Warhammer Universe meets Fallout meets (some slight elements of) Lovecraft.

Haven't thought up of a title as of yet. Any ideas?

And no, the title of this post is not the title of the series. It's just... part of the tag line.

And of course, correct me if there are any mistakes.

Cheers all.

Entries

The nemesis came again

Marching in full force

Could it be over soon?

Could this war come full circle?

For years

I have did battle with it

The nemesis and I

Know each other well

Far too well, in fact

For all our conflict

Has led us to learn of the other's strength

And that of his weakness too

But time and again

I have proven resourceful

Wily and cunning

The nemesis

It learns

Years have flown by

And those years have done little

To whittle its strength

It becomes greater by the day

By the hour

By the minute

By every passing second

Slowly my will falters

With every passing moment

The poisons of the nemesis

Beginning to work

Their dark magicks

Walls crumble and fall

The nemesis pours his malice

His rage and fury

Through the cracks

His minions march relentlessly

While my men

Brave as they are

They are no match to something

Incomparable to the mortal soul

The nemesis knows it will win

But the question is:

When?

One last fortress stands now

The rest all but conquered

Under the banner of the nemesis

The mighty bastion

A firm testament

Of endurance, strength and determination

Manned by hundreds of thousands

Loyal men and women

Willing to give their lives

To defend what is dearest to us

All of us

I watch the horizon

The trails of smoke

Signifying the nemesis's army

Coming from the south

Approximately fifty kilometers

From where I stood

I couldn't help but wonder

What could I expect from this?

Defeat?

Victory?

"It's all up to you"

Says the stranger

Sipping on tea

With scones on the side

Watching the smoke plumes rise

From the campfire next to me

Wait

How is it that he's here?

"Don't you know me well enough by now?"

He grinned

As he always does

I saunter up to him

Troops passing me by

Engrossed with preparations

I take a seat next to him

And he proffers a scone

"It's tasty," he adds

I take one

Hesitantly

Before I open my m0uth to ask

He answers

"It's only a dream after all"

I blink

Is he speaking the truth?

"Of course!

How is it

That you're fighting off

An unspeakable evil

When you're actually

On a train ride

Going somewhere

In hopes of finding answers?"

I blink

He definitely is speaking truth

"What you face now,"

He continues

Another scone down

Sipping his tea

"This nemesis

I believe it's an extension

Of your dark side

Or something you've been hiding

What could it be?

I believe you should tell me that

What are you hiding?"

"My insecurities, stranger

My fears

My doubts

My despair

My loneliness

My...

Well

Essentially, my pessimism

No more, no less

The fight here is

More or less

A metaphorical description

Of the mental battle I wage

Likened to be a real conflict

And

I'm on the losing side"

I finish with a sigh

He offered another scone

As he thought

Of what he should say

It seems so easy

For one like him

To offer advice

"It's a war alright"

He looks around him

At the soldiers pacing up and down

A menagerie of veterans

And brave civilians

"I can imagine

The troops are your mental 'resolve'

The only thing standing

In fear's way

But...

For an army

It seems so insignificant"

"I've told you," I reply

"I'm on the losing side

My morale's never been this low

In fact

It's become a battle

Just to get through a day

Without any bruises or wounds"

"It's funny

You only found out

About your condition

Only days ago

And already you're giving up?

Are you kidding?

You're such a pessimist"

I hang my head

"If you didn't know already

I AM ONE

And there's nothing I can do

To change that fact"

"See a doctor first

Then talk

You haven't even started

And already you're complaining?

You're a joke, boy"

"Listen!"

I stand up in anger

The stranger gazes at me

Not surprised

Perhaps expecting my tantrum?

The others ignore us

As they continue to make ready

For the following

"If you were in my shoes

Then you'd understand

How I really feel"

"No matter how much

How much I fight

Every time I reach

A break through

The nemesis finds a weakness

And back it is to square one

He is anathema

The perfect embodiment

Of my worst nightmare

Everything goes down the drain

Everything

Everything!"

"How long have I been fighting now?

Too many years now!

All the conflict we've waged

Up until this point

I don't want to fight

I'm sick and tired

I'm weary and weak

I can't go on any further

I really can't

No more

Not anymore"

My shoulders stoop

The stranger keeps his eyes on me

He nods

"Then

I guess

This marks the end of my journey

With you, my friend

I cannot help you

Win this war

It is one

You have to win yourself

Thus

I wish you well

And I wish you peace"

He rises from his seat

Teacup still in his hand

Now empty

Pats my shoulder

And disappears

Klaxons blare

Someone in the distance

Screams in panic

Another shouts

The enemy approaches!

In the distance

Legions of the nemesis' men

March to claim victory

While in the fortress

Prayers

Tears

Farewells

Preparations

Weapon checks

The lot

The stranger is gone now

Forever?

Honestly?

I don't know

I'm lost now

The enemy approaches

And I worry

This battle may be my last

Fear not, friends

The entries will continue

So long as I live

But I live in the shadow

Of my own fears

And that of the nemesis

That lurks inside me

He taunts me all the time

Enticing me to fight on

Should I?

For too long now I've been fighting

I don't know what else

I have left in me

Maybe I've no other choice

But to finish this

And see how it ends

If I fall

Bury me in an unmarked grave

Somewhere on the outskirts

Close to nature

Have a small tombstone

And on it

Etch my epitaph

"If only I were better

Than who I was"

Send me a garland of flowers

Once a year

And remember me

For the little good that I've done

For you

If any at all

I pray that this is not the end

Entries

Cry

Though you cry a river

The dilemma remains

Unsolved

As it continues

To taint

And spread its poison

It weakens you

I can see how it affects you

Your words

Your emotions

Your thoughts

They begin to betray you

They begin to change

Under the influence

Of this strange toxicity

This contagion

Haunts Man

Since the beginning of Time

Because of it

We have become

Estranged

Separated

Segregated

Denigrated

Persecuted

From the rest

Cry

Cry a river you may

This blight tears at you

It drains your life

It adds your sorrows

It adds your fears

It adds your tears as well

Cry

I cried before

Many times, last count

The plague overwhelmed me

I narrowly perished

I thought myself lost

I thought there was no hope left

No hope at all

But guided I was

By a bright light

As bright as a star

(Please do note

It is not God which I speak)

And I began to see

What others do not

Though of course

Old habits die hard

But nevertheless

A man must embrace change

Change is constant

Is it not?

Cry

I know not why you cry

But I understand your fears

And your doubts

Even if I know nought

Of anything that haunts you

Cry

I cannot cry for you

But a shoulder I can provide

For you to cry on

Though the plague yet consumes me

And threatens my very life

I cannot let myself

Stand with arms folded

And watch my dearest friends

Collapse to the ground

I cannot sit still

If they falter

Though the plague yet consumes me

I need to stand firm

Trust in myself

Trust in my faith

And mayhaps

The cure will come to me

Cry

Cry no longer

I shall be there

All you need to do

Is ask

And so I pen it all down

Seeking the cure for this disease

Seeking it within

And without

To cleanse and rid of it

Once and for all

Such is my belief

This epidemic shall come to an end

Its end

Stories

"Are you a doubter, Eddie?"


Edmund came back to reality as Trey asked him that question, his glass still firmly in his hand. He looked back at his close friend, who was looking back intently, and realized he was supposed to answer.


"A doubter of what?"


Trey swirled his drink slowly, his eyes still on Edmund. He took a small sip of his tequila, wincing as he gulped it down his throat.


"The way I see it," Trey added, "you seem to be doubting the fact you'll ever find someone compatible ever since you and Emily broke off all those years ago."


Edmund did a double take. "Excuse me?" he asked, stunned.


Trey shrugged his shoulders in a way that implied 'obviously' to Edmund, setting his drink down on the bar counter. He turned his body to face Edmund directly, eyes not lifting away from him at all.


"I would say you're a doubter," he then continued, nonchalantly.


Edmund chuckled and shook his head. He sipped his orange juice and asked, "What makes you think so?"


"Every time I talk about how happy I am with Regina," Trey answers quickly, "there is a certain glint in your eyes that tell me something is amiss. And from what I deduce, it's because you feel lonely."


"Lonely?"


Trey nodded confidently. "That would be you, my friend. It's time you found yourself the right one to keep you company."


Edmund's fingers began to strum lightly on the counter. Sighing, he said, "I think that can wait."


Trey snapped his fingers, and a 'eureka' expression formed on his face.


"There, you see?" he pointed out. "What did I tell you? My deduction was right after all."


"Can we talk about something else?" came Edmund's reply, sounding rather terse.


"No we will not talk about anything else, Ed," Trey replied. "We need to resolve your problem as best as possible-"


"I don't want to waste my time on this crap!" Edmund suddenly shouted. The patrons that sat close to them began to stare, worried if something bad was about to happen. One customer began to edge away from Trey. The bar continued to be filled with sound and dances, unperturbed by the sudden outburst Edmund displayed.


Edmund cooled down almost instantly. He sighed sharply and added, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."


Trey patted him on the back. "I know you didn't, bro."


"But face it," he continued, hand still on Edmund's shoulder. "It comes and goes. But if you really think it will stay that way, you might just miss out on the real deal. Your true love might just slip from your hands without you even realizing it. And by the time you regret, there's no turning back."


There was a moment's pause, as the bar continued to groove with life around them.


"How did you and Regina meet again?" Edmund asked.


Trey took a moment to arrange the facts in his head. He seated himself comfortably on the stool before he started speaking.


"When I moved to London I never expected much," he began. "I was there to start up my career with my uncle before I moved back to the States to help out with the family business. I started about a week after I arrived, since Uncle Jim wanted to take me around London and the nearby cities, towns and local sights before I began. And I can tell you, I got along very well with the rest, and soon enough I was everybody's friend.


"I met Regina on my second day of work, actually, because she was on leave the day before. We clicked pretty well, as she shared a similar passion I had for photography. As the days went by, we began to spend more time together - talking about cameras, photos, famous photographers and all that sort; be it during lunch break, or when we left for home, we were always conversing. Then our range of topics expanded - and we began to talk about current issues, celebrity gossip and the like."


"Celebrity gossip?" Edmund smirked.


Trey shrugged it off with a wave of his hand.


"Anyway," he continued, "our friendship began to develop over the course of a few months and the next thing I knew, I'd already been snagged. I never did expect to find myself in this situation, nor was I planning to pursue it. But... I guess love has its way of chipping away pieces from a heart of stone."


Trey's eyes seemed to be gazing out into the distance. But as Edmund was deciding whether or not to bring his friend back to reality, Trey looked back at his drink and drank it deep.


"So... you asked her?" Edmund ventured, drinking from his own glass.


"It wasn't until a week later that I gathered the guts to. By sheer coincidence, we were celebrating her birthday with a couple of colleagues. We had good fun at the restaurant, but they had to leave early. So I offered to walk her home - because where we were, it was about fifteen minutes walking distance from her house.


"And yes, I did ask her the question. I almost slipped, and I almost blew my chance. But, I don't know how, the words came out of my mouth. And after a moment's pause, she smiled. And told me she felt the same.


"And the rest, I guess, is history," Trey finished, the last of his drink down his throat.


Edmund nodded, quite enthralled. "Like it was out from a story book," he remarked, grinning sheepishly.


"Every one has a story book ending," Trey simply answered, "and there will be a day when you finally reach it."


"Are you really sure?"


Trey gave him a look. "If it worked for me," he quickly replied, "then why not you? Stop being a pessimist, man."


"I'm not being pessimistic, Trey," Edmund defended himself, waving to the bartender for another round. "I'm just being... realistic... in hindsight."


Trey bumped his friend in the shoulder with a laugh. "Keep on coming up with excuses like that, and they'd probably be giving you an award for being the lamest excuse-giver."


"Shut up, Trey...:" Edmund murmured, thanking the waiter who served them their second go.


"Are you trying to hide something from me?"


Edmund almost spat out his beer. How did he come up with such thinking? he began to wonder. What did he have to hide anyway?


"What, do I look like I have something to hide?" he replied hastily.


Trey took a good look for a while. Seconds later, his answer was: "Definitely."


Edmund rolled his eyes as Trey began to laugh out loud. Raising their glasses with a hearty "Cheers!" they knock their drinks together and gulp them down satisfyingly.


Trey's phone began to ring, and he excused himself to the washroom.


Edmund sat there and began to wonder if Trey was right in the end. There was a chance, but Edmund didn't know what to make of it. Would he blow it? Or what?


He sighed and knocked back another draught.

Entries

"So

Have you figured it out?"

A sudden question

From the stranger

On a beautiful afternoon

As the train passes

Wonderful sights

Of the prairies

"What are we talking about?"

I ask him

Too many things on my mind

"What it was

I asked you to ponder

In my absence"

He replied

Matter-of-factly

Sitting down

Next to Harley

Eager to play with the stranger

"Ah, I remember that

All too well

I have given much thought

But up until now

I don't know

What would give me an answer

That would satisfy me"

The stranger nodded

Dangling a string

In front of Harley

Who is always so keen

In playing cute games

Like this

"I don't have an answer either

It's something

You have to find out

Yourself

I don't have to repeat myself, don't I?

Offering you advice

Does not mean

You should follow it

You are not bound to my words

Or that of others

Merely choose what you feel

Is the right advice

And use it well"

"But I don't know

If my choice is right"

I voice my concerns

The stranger continues

To play with Harley

"Nobody ever made

The right choice

So easily

Unless it's their luck

Have you?

Look back on your life

All it means

Is that you are still learning"

Truth

While it pains me

To remember how awful

Those times were

They serve as reminders

Not to return to such a state

Ever

"So what about now?"

He asked

His eyes gazing into mine

Almost as if

He could see my future

"What does your heart say?"

I shrug

"I don't really know"

I admit

"Part of me

Refuses to believe

While the remainder

Has faith

That it will be alright

That it would work out

The way I hope it would"

"Cling onto that hope,"

Says he

"But not too tightly

It may not go as planned

But at least

You can proudly tell yourself

You conquered your fears

And nothing changed

For the worse

Tread lightly

For you tread on thin ice"

"You are likened

To be on a ship

On perilous

And fickle

Waters

You are its captain

Much like how you conduct this train

And your every choice

Decides

Your survival

Or your demise

On the high seas"

"Would you finally

Complete this puzzle?

Would you continue

To find the missing pieces?

Would you surrender

And never attempt this again?

Would it be too late

To regret the choices made?

I do not know

Either one of these

May happen

And that

Will ultimately

Decide the next chapter of your life."

"Plan accordingly,"

He adds

Stroking Harley on his head

"Because tomorrow carries forward

What today went through

Do not blind yourself

To the larger truth

Do not feel ashamed

By the mistakes you made

Simply

Be full of hope

For hope

Is all that Man has left"

The wind blows

From an open window

One I thought I had locked

But I look round again

And the stranger is gone

Gone

With the wind

Hence, the open window

I stand up

And shut it tight

Sighing

Harley looking up at me

With his cute looks

He must wonder

Where the stranger has gone

I pick up the kitten

Stroking his chin

"He will be back"

I whisper

Though I doubt he understands

I put him down on the seat

Just as my phone began to ring

The call

I had expected

(Had I?)

I smile

And remind myself

How Fate is so fickle

So I pen it all down

And keep his words at heart

Someday

I will be complete

Someday