Today's the day when parents come to school to meet their children's respective class teacher and talk about their overall performance in the recent mid-year exams, as well as their conduct and performance in school.
But while many parents (my mum included) were seen walking around the school grounds to the classes where their son(s)/daughter(s) were, some students had to have aunts or uncles or siblings or someone else (and even no one at all) to take their report cards and listen to the teacher's evaluation.
Shouldn't parents be there in the first place? After all, Open Day has its significance.
I don't know. It makes me wonder.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Stories
"Are you a doubter, Eddie?"
Edmund came back to reality as Trey asked him that question, his glass still firmly in his hand. He looked back at his close friend, who was looking back intently, and realized he was supposed to answer.
"A doubter of what?"
Trey swirled his drink slowly, his eyes still on Edmund. He took a small sip of his tequila, wincing as he gulped it down his throat.
"The way I see it," Trey added, "you seem to be doubting the fact you'll ever find someone compatible ever since you and Emily broke off all those years ago."
Edmund did a double take. "Excuse me?" he asked, stunned.
Trey shrugged his shoulders in a way that implied 'obviously' to Edmund, setting his drink down on the bar counter. He turned his body to face Edmund directly, eyes not lifting away from him at all.
"I would say you're a doubter," he then continued, nonchalantly.
Edmund chuckled and shook his head. He sipped his orange juice and asked, "What makes you think so?"
"Every time I talk about how happy I am with Regina," Trey answers quickly, "there is a certain glint in your eyes that tell me something is amiss. And from what I deduce, it's because you feel lonely."
"Lonely?"
Trey nodded confidently. "That would be you, my friend. It's time you found yourself the right one to keep you company."
Edmund's fingers began to strum lightly on the counter. Sighing, he said, "I think that can wait."
Trey snapped his fingers, and a 'eureka' expression formed on his face.
"There, you see?" he pointed out. "What did I tell you? My deduction was right after all."
"Can we talk about something else?" came Edmund's reply, sounding rather terse.
"No we will not talk about anything else, Ed," Trey replied. "We need to resolve your problem as best as possible-"
"I don't want to waste my time on this crap!" Edmund suddenly shouted. The patrons that sat close to them began to stare, worried if something bad was about to happen. One customer began to edge away from Trey. The bar continued to be filled with sound and dances, unperturbed by the sudden outburst Edmund displayed.
Edmund cooled down almost instantly. He sighed sharply and added, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."
Trey patted him on the back. "I know you didn't, bro."
"But face it," he continued, hand still on Edmund's shoulder. "It comes and goes. But if you really think it will stay that way, you might just miss out on the real deal. Your true love might just slip from your hands without you even realizing it. And by the time you regret, there's no turning back."
There was a moment's pause, as the bar continued to groove with life around them.
"How did you and Regina meet again?" Edmund asked.
Trey took a moment to arrange the facts in his head. He seated himself comfortably on the stool before he started speaking.
"When I moved to London I never expected much," he began. "I was there to start up my career with my uncle before I moved back to the States to help out with the family business. I started about a week after I arrived, since Uncle Jim wanted to take me around London and the nearby cities, towns and local sights before I began. And I can tell you, I got along very well with the rest, and soon enough I was everybody's friend.
"I met Regina on my second day of work, actually, because she was on leave the day before. We clicked pretty well, as she shared a similar passion I had for photography. As the days went by, we began to spend more time together - talking about cameras, photos, famous photographers and all that sort; be it during lunch break, or when we left for home, we were always conversing. Then our range of topics expanded - and we began to talk about current issues, celebrity gossip and the like."
"Celebrity gossip?" Edmund smirked.
Trey shrugged it off with a wave of his hand.
"Anyway," he continued, "our friendship began to develop over the course of a few months and the next thing I knew, I'd already been snagged. I never did expect to find myself in this situation, nor was I planning to pursue it. But... I guess love has its way of chipping away pieces from a heart of stone."
Trey's eyes seemed to be gazing out into the distance. But as Edmund was deciding whether or not to bring his friend back to reality, Trey looked back at his drink and drank it deep.
"So... you asked her?" Edmund ventured, drinking from his own glass.
"It wasn't until a week later that I gathered the guts to. By sheer coincidence, we were celebrating her birthday with a couple of colleagues. We had good fun at the restaurant, but they had to leave early. So I offered to walk her home - because where we were, it was about fifteen minutes walking distance from her house.
"And yes, I did ask her the question. I almost slipped, and I almost blew my chance. But, I don't know how, the words came out of my mouth. And after a moment's pause, she smiled. And told me she felt the same.
"And the rest, I guess, is history," Trey finished, the last of his drink down his throat.
Edmund nodded, quite enthralled. "Like it was out from a story book," he remarked, grinning sheepishly.
"Every one has a story book ending," Trey simply answered, "and there will be a day when you finally reach it."
"Are you really sure?"
Trey gave him a look. "If it worked for me," he quickly replied, "then why not you? Stop being a pessimist, man."
"I'm not being pessimistic, Trey," Edmund defended himself, waving to the bartender for another round. "I'm just being... realistic... in hindsight."
Trey bumped his friend in the shoulder with a laugh. "Keep on coming up with excuses like that, and they'd probably be giving you an award for being the lamest excuse-giver."
"Shut up, Trey...:" Edmund murmured, thanking the waiter who served them their second go.
"Are you trying to hide something from me?"
Edmund almost spat out his beer. How did he come up with such thinking? he began to wonder. What did he have to hide anyway?
"What, do I look like I have something to hide?" he replied hastily.
Trey took a good look for a while. Seconds later, his answer was: "Definitely."
Edmund rolled his eyes as Trey began to laugh out loud. Raising their glasses with a hearty "Cheers!" they knock their drinks together and gulp them down satisfyingly.
Trey's phone began to ring, and he excused himself to the washroom.
Edmund sat there and began to wonder if Trey was right in the end. There was a chance, but Edmund didn't know what to make of it. Would he blow it? Or what?
He sighed and knocked back another draught.
Edmund came back to reality as Trey asked him that question, his glass still firmly in his hand. He looked back at his close friend, who was looking back intently, and realized he was supposed to answer.
"A doubter of what?"
Trey swirled his drink slowly, his eyes still on Edmund. He took a small sip of his tequila, wincing as he gulped it down his throat.
"The way I see it," Trey added, "you seem to be doubting the fact you'll ever find someone compatible ever since you and Emily broke off all those years ago."
Edmund did a double take. "Excuse me?" he asked, stunned.
Trey shrugged his shoulders in a way that implied 'obviously' to Edmund, setting his drink down on the bar counter. He turned his body to face Edmund directly, eyes not lifting away from him at all.
"I would say you're a doubter," he then continued, nonchalantly.
Edmund chuckled and shook his head. He sipped his orange juice and asked, "What makes you think so?"
"Every time I talk about how happy I am with Regina," Trey answers quickly, "there is a certain glint in your eyes that tell me something is amiss. And from what I deduce, it's because you feel lonely."
"Lonely?"
Trey nodded confidently. "That would be you, my friend. It's time you found yourself the right one to keep you company."
Edmund's fingers began to strum lightly on the counter. Sighing, he said, "I think that can wait."
Trey snapped his fingers, and a 'eureka' expression formed on his face.
"There, you see?" he pointed out. "What did I tell you? My deduction was right after all."
"Can we talk about something else?" came Edmund's reply, sounding rather terse.
"No we will not talk about anything else, Ed," Trey replied. "We need to resolve your problem as best as possible-"
"I don't want to waste my time on this crap!" Edmund suddenly shouted. The patrons that sat close to them began to stare, worried if something bad was about to happen. One customer began to edge away from Trey. The bar continued to be filled with sound and dances, unperturbed by the sudden outburst Edmund displayed.
Edmund cooled down almost instantly. He sighed sharply and added, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."
Trey patted him on the back. "I know you didn't, bro."
"But face it," he continued, hand still on Edmund's shoulder. "It comes and goes. But if you really think it will stay that way, you might just miss out on the real deal. Your true love might just slip from your hands without you even realizing it. And by the time you regret, there's no turning back."
There was a moment's pause, as the bar continued to groove with life around them.
"How did you and Regina meet again?" Edmund asked.
Trey took a moment to arrange the facts in his head. He seated himself comfortably on the stool before he started speaking.
"When I moved to London I never expected much," he began. "I was there to start up my career with my uncle before I moved back to the States to help out with the family business. I started about a week after I arrived, since Uncle Jim wanted to take me around London and the nearby cities, towns and local sights before I began. And I can tell you, I got along very well with the rest, and soon enough I was everybody's friend.
"I met Regina on my second day of work, actually, because she was on leave the day before. We clicked pretty well, as she shared a similar passion I had for photography. As the days went by, we began to spend more time together - talking about cameras, photos, famous photographers and all that sort; be it during lunch break, or when we left for home, we were always conversing. Then our range of topics expanded - and we began to talk about current issues, celebrity gossip and the like."
"Celebrity gossip?" Edmund smirked.
Trey shrugged it off with a wave of his hand.
"Anyway," he continued, "our friendship began to develop over the course of a few months and the next thing I knew, I'd already been snagged. I never did expect to find myself in this situation, nor was I planning to pursue it. But... I guess love has its way of chipping away pieces from a heart of stone."
Trey's eyes seemed to be gazing out into the distance. But as Edmund was deciding whether or not to bring his friend back to reality, Trey looked back at his drink and drank it deep.
"So... you asked her?" Edmund ventured, drinking from his own glass.
"It wasn't until a week later that I gathered the guts to. By sheer coincidence, we were celebrating her birthday with a couple of colleagues. We had good fun at the restaurant, but they had to leave early. So I offered to walk her home - because where we were, it was about fifteen minutes walking distance from her house.
"And yes, I did ask her the question. I almost slipped, and I almost blew my chance. But, I don't know how, the words came out of my mouth. And after a moment's pause, she smiled. And told me she felt the same.
"And the rest, I guess, is history," Trey finished, the last of his drink down his throat.
Edmund nodded, quite enthralled. "Like it was out from a story book," he remarked, grinning sheepishly.
"Every one has a story book ending," Trey simply answered, "and there will be a day when you finally reach it."
"Are you really sure?"
Trey gave him a look. "If it worked for me," he quickly replied, "then why not you? Stop being a pessimist, man."
"I'm not being pessimistic, Trey," Edmund defended himself, waving to the bartender for another round. "I'm just being... realistic... in hindsight."
Trey bumped his friend in the shoulder with a laugh. "Keep on coming up with excuses like that, and they'd probably be giving you an award for being the lamest excuse-giver."
"Shut up, Trey...:" Edmund murmured, thanking the waiter who served them their second go.
"Are you trying to hide something from me?"
Edmund almost spat out his beer. How did he come up with such thinking? he began to wonder. What did he have to hide anyway?
"What, do I look like I have something to hide?" he replied hastily.
Trey took a good look for a while. Seconds later, his answer was: "Definitely."
Edmund rolled his eyes as Trey began to laugh out loud. Raising their glasses with a hearty "Cheers!" they knock their drinks together and gulp them down satisfyingly.
Trey's phone began to ring, and he excused himself to the washroom.
Edmund sat there and began to wonder if Trey was right in the end. There was a chance, but Edmund didn't know what to make of it. Would he blow it? Or what?
He sighed and knocked back another draught.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Insights: Why?
On the subject of our previous matter, misinterpretations continue to poison the minds of many under the pretense of what is really "the right thing to do." In fact, it's wrong. Very wrong.
Like how some people say that, by not converting, you have yourself a one-way ticket to Hell. I don't think so. In fact, I beg to differ. Many friends of mine say that no matter who you are, God still loves you the same way He loves us. So why are they using fear to force people to convert, simply because they'll go to Hell if they don't?
It's a matter of choice if someone wishes to convert or not. Do we really expect everyone would want to convert? And do you really think you can get away sin-free for making such false allegations?
Can't we all remember what happened back in America in those days? Discrimination was such a serious topic that stained the history of America with prejudice and unnecessary bloodshed. Malaysia suffered from that very same problem in the sixties. Do we really want to go back to those times?
In fact, there are some people who are hypocrites. They claim themselves to be true to their faith, but their claims are baseless when they indulge in sin and they don't realize it. They think that they're so devout and faithful that they don't realize that they are corrupting the very faith they practise every day. It's not because they are sinful, but they are blinded by what they think is the truth.
Some people, in their haste or zealousness, don't realize that what they do only goes against what it is they practise. For example, you believe that there is good in others, but instead you only see, hear and speak of 'evil' in others. How would you know that that person is truly the Devil's advocate? What real proof do you have that speaks volumes of his/her behavior or principles?
Or you believe trust is the key to good working relationships, but instead you backstab your closest colleague just to get that promotion. Or you believe that everyone is different from you, but instead you're always making comparisons every day. Is that what someone should really do every single day?
What would your God say about such behavior? Can that really be tolerated? If someone did one of the above to you, how would you feel? And how would you react? If you decide that you should fight fire with fire, then I'm afraid you're a lost cause.
Is that really the becoming of a human being? To the extent we give up so much to please our little selves? Whatever happened to compassion, happiness and love for one another? Have they already been forgotten?
I'd say they have been so since a long time ago.
We've come a long way now, but no one seems to have learned from our past mistakes. No one seems to care whether or not it matters. They'd rather live a contented life as they continue to bloat and spoil themselves in the revelries of sin. And even if they don't plague themselves with sin, there are still those who don't realize the mistakes they made and the mess they left behind.
But despite all the negativity that continues to spread like wildfire, I still stay hopefuly that the future will be a bright one. While I admit there are certain quarters who only fill me with a sense of regret - regret in the fact they will never know of change until it's too late - I see a handful of my friends who continue to give me hope, that there still is good in the heart of Mankind. Could we be the last of Man who can redeem itself of its sins? If God does decide that his covenant with Noah has been broken by our actions, would He bring Judgment Day upon us all without hesitation?
Who would He spare in that time?
I can only pray that, in time, I will have the answers I seek.
Like how some people say that, by not converting, you have yourself a one-way ticket to Hell. I don't think so. In fact, I beg to differ. Many friends of mine say that no matter who you are, God still loves you the same way He loves us. So why are they using fear to force people to convert, simply because they'll go to Hell if they don't?
It's a matter of choice if someone wishes to convert or not. Do we really expect everyone would want to convert? And do you really think you can get away sin-free for making such false allegations?
Can't we all remember what happened back in America in those days? Discrimination was such a serious topic that stained the history of America with prejudice and unnecessary bloodshed. Malaysia suffered from that very same problem in the sixties. Do we really want to go back to those times?
In fact, there are some people who are hypocrites. They claim themselves to be true to their faith, but their claims are baseless when they indulge in sin and they don't realize it. They think that they're so devout and faithful that they don't realize that they are corrupting the very faith they practise every day. It's not because they are sinful, but they are blinded by what they think is the truth.
Some people, in their haste or zealousness, don't realize that what they do only goes against what it is they practise. For example, you believe that there is good in others, but instead you only see, hear and speak of 'evil' in others. How would you know that that person is truly the Devil's advocate? What real proof do you have that speaks volumes of his/her behavior or principles?
Or you believe trust is the key to good working relationships, but instead you backstab your closest colleague just to get that promotion. Or you believe that everyone is different from you, but instead you're always making comparisons every day. Is that what someone should really do every single day?
What would your God say about such behavior? Can that really be tolerated? If someone did one of the above to you, how would you feel? And how would you react? If you decide that you should fight fire with fire, then I'm afraid you're a lost cause.
Is that really the becoming of a human being? To the extent we give up so much to please our little selves? Whatever happened to compassion, happiness and love for one another? Have they already been forgotten?
I'd say they have been so since a long time ago.
We've come a long way now, but no one seems to have learned from our past mistakes. No one seems to care whether or not it matters. They'd rather live a contented life as they continue to bloat and spoil themselves in the revelries of sin. And even if they don't plague themselves with sin, there are still those who don't realize the mistakes they made and the mess they left behind.
But despite all the negativity that continues to spread like wildfire, I still stay hopefuly that the future will be a bright one. While I admit there are certain quarters who only fill me with a sense of regret - regret in the fact they will never know of change until it's too late - I see a handful of my friends who continue to give me hope, that there still is good in the heart of Mankind. Could we be the last of Man who can redeem itself of its sins? If God does decide that his covenant with Noah has been broken by our actions, would He bring Judgment Day upon us all without hesitation?
Who would He spare in that time?
I can only pray that, in time, I will have the answers I seek.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Insights
People tend to contradict the words of others and turn them into a whole new meaning. Whether by accident or otherwise, this occurence may lead to disastrous results if left alone. We can easily see it happening all around us, be it here in the country or somewhere abroad.
Because of these ignorant parties, words or phrases that mean no harm at all can suddenly become insulting, defamatory or slanderous to others that lead to unwanted consequences. Haven't we learned from our mistakes? And if that's not enough, when asked to apologize, these people defiantly justify their actions or words that it only enrages the opposing side even further. Nobody ever considers a more peaceable approach to solving the matter immediately. The long tirades of insults will continue for centuries to come.
And let's not forget the bigger problems that stem from their need of justification; war, riots, political turmoil - the list goes on.
In fact, in the Exodus, it is mentioned how, after Moses and Aaron bade to Pharaoh to let the people of God go, Pharaoh told all his taskmasters and officers:
While Moses brought God's word to Pharaoh, that Pharaoh should let the Israelites go in peace, Pharaoh may have thought Moses was planning to lead a revolution against the Egyptians. Because he did not see how he had brought misery to the Israelites by enslaving them, Pharaoh believed that he had to control them further by tightening his grip over the Israelites. The same picture might just happen in the near future.
But we're not here to discuss of the bigger picture. Instead, we should look at it from the personal point-of-view. Everything starts here: from ourselves. So if we want to really change the world, we need to change ourselves.
To see how we inevitably lead ourselves to self-destruction is a saddening sight indeed. How we tend to believe in only ourselves. How we choose to alter the words of others, or in our beliefs and principles. How we do not want to tolerate others. Or not to live a compassionate life. Or to ignore the cries of anguish from the lost, the least and the lonely. Don't we get it? And when will we get it?
Nobody can truly justify what is true and what is false. Everyone holds a certain stand to a certain topic, and it may not be so easy to change their mindset. Like how a victim of rape may see all men as lustful monsters, or an ex-convict seeking to atone his sins may not be welcomed back into society. Hardline stances are hard to change when they do not have a valid reason into actions or events that will change them. We are a difficult bunch to please.
And let's not forget there will be detractors. They will always find some way to stand for the things they believe is 'right'. But again, what is right and what is wrong to Man? Does it satisfy the requisites as mentioned in your beliefs or religion? Does it seem logically sound? How we accept the information is up to what influences us. It is just like when St. John Baptist De La Salle faced the 'Writing Masters', those who preached the old ways of education, in court numerous times. The Writing Masters saw La Salle as a threat to their sovereignty as the only ones who were fit to educate the young. And because they did not want to change, to conform to something that was truly righteous, they went against La Salle many times.
The question that remains is whether we truly sate everyone's wants and needs. There is, without a doubt, no real way to substantiate this claim. We all have our own wishes and desires. But if we can open our hearts to the reality that no one is wrong in what they believe in, mayhaps the world would be so much more peaceful. The longer our misunderstandings remain, the deeper our enmity with one another.
I do not think our respective God wanted us to live this way.
Because of these ignorant parties, words or phrases that mean no harm at all can suddenly become insulting, defamatory or slanderous to others that lead to unwanted consequences. Haven't we learned from our mistakes? And if that's not enough, when asked to apologize, these people defiantly justify their actions or words that it only enrages the opposing side even further. Nobody ever considers a more peaceable approach to solving the matter immediately. The long tirades of insults will continue for centuries to come.
And let's not forget the bigger problems that stem from their need of justification; war, riots, political turmoil - the list goes on.
In fact, in the Exodus, it is mentioned how, after Moses and Aaron bade to Pharaoh to let the people of God go, Pharaoh told all his taskmasters and officers:
"Ye shall no more give the people straw to make brick, as heretofore: let them go and gather straw for themselves. And the tale of the bricks, which they did make heretofore, you shall lay upon them; you shall not diminish ought thereof: for they be idle; therefore they cry, saying, 'Let us go and sacrifice to our God.' Let there more work be laid upon the men, that they may labour therein; and let them not regard vain words." (Exodus 5:7-9)And from there, the Israelites continued to suffer.
While Moses brought God's word to Pharaoh, that Pharaoh should let the Israelites go in peace, Pharaoh may have thought Moses was planning to lead a revolution against the Egyptians. Because he did not see how he had brought misery to the Israelites by enslaving them, Pharaoh believed that he had to control them further by tightening his grip over the Israelites. The same picture might just happen in the near future.
But we're not here to discuss of the bigger picture. Instead, we should look at it from the personal point-of-view. Everything starts here: from ourselves. So if we want to really change the world, we need to change ourselves.
To see how we inevitably lead ourselves to self-destruction is a saddening sight indeed. How we tend to believe in only ourselves. How we choose to alter the words of others, or in our beliefs and principles. How we do not want to tolerate others. Or not to live a compassionate life. Or to ignore the cries of anguish from the lost, the least and the lonely. Don't we get it? And when will we get it?
Nobody can truly justify what is true and what is false. Everyone holds a certain stand to a certain topic, and it may not be so easy to change their mindset. Like how a victim of rape may see all men as lustful monsters, or an ex-convict seeking to atone his sins may not be welcomed back into society. Hardline stances are hard to change when they do not have a valid reason into actions or events that will change them. We are a difficult bunch to please.
And let's not forget there will be detractors. They will always find some way to stand for the things they believe is 'right'. But again, what is right and what is wrong to Man? Does it satisfy the requisites as mentioned in your beliefs or religion? Does it seem logically sound? How we accept the information is up to what influences us. It is just like when St. John Baptist De La Salle faced the 'Writing Masters', those who preached the old ways of education, in court numerous times. The Writing Masters saw La Salle as a threat to their sovereignty as the only ones who were fit to educate the young. And because they did not want to change, to conform to something that was truly righteous, they went against La Salle many times.
The question that remains is whether we truly sate everyone's wants and needs. There is, without a doubt, no real way to substantiate this claim. We all have our own wishes and desires. But if we can open our hearts to the reality that no one is wrong in what they believe in, mayhaps the world would be so much more peaceful. The longer our misunderstandings remain, the deeper our enmity with one another.
I do not think our respective God wanted us to live this way.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Insights: Self-Esteem
There's this American program called "Style By Jury", where every week a random woman (I don't know whether men are involved) is selected to undergo a week-long makeover. But before and after the makeover, a randomly chosen jury is selected to give their first-hand impressions about the person; before the makeover, this would be somewhat of motivation to the person in question to go through the makeover. After the makeover, a new jury would give their thoughts to see just how much the person has changed in the week.
I find the premise interesting. Apart from changing the person's look, they also have life coaches to help build up the person's self-esteem and confidence levels to an all-time high. Mind you, the people they select aren't just regular women. They really NEED help. Not just in terms of fashion, but also in building up their confidence.
It gets me to think of building self-esteem. One thing you should note: self-esteem is one's level of confidence, and this applies to almost everything. Whether it's making friends, doing a project, presenting a slideshow or something else, there has to be a measure of self-esteem in doing them. Yes, even making friends. If you're an introvert (usually possessing low levels of self-esteem) you'd definitely find it hard to talk to people. If you have low self-esteem, there isn't much that you'd be able to do. You'll be hiding yourself from everyone that they won't see the real potential inside of you. Won't that be a waste?
But how do we go about building it up? Well it doesn't take a six-year old to answer that. It's pretty obvious who you go to to do so. But what's more important is that you open yourself to the entire concept. If you shut yourself from the experts, you're not going to go anywhere.
I have a friend of mine who faces this problem. He's got a problem communicating properly with people - save me - and he just can't seem to get along with many. Apart from that, he comes from a broken family, and that only reinforces his introversion. (I'd love to give more details, but I would prefer to keep his identity secret. If you know that I mean you, please don't despair! Read on and it will definitely help you out)It's difficult to actually persuade him to the notion of building up his confidence, believing himself, things like that. Knowing him for a long time, I've tried long and hard to actually drill the concept into his head but I've had little to no success. It breaks my heart to see someone like him live so close to the edge and feel so helpless at the same time.
It's all up to him now. If I can't get him to see it my way, he will have to do it the hard way. And going it the hard way isn't as easy as accepting it earlier. It's not an impossible feat. But it does require more willpower to take that first step.
I admit that I have confidence issues myself. I won't go into detail, but I do my very best to try and maintain a good level. Who would deny it's important? If you're going to keep your doors closed forever, how are you expected to make a living? Feed the family? Expand your business horizons? Things like that? Don't you want to do just that?
There are still ways to go about building confidence without forking out so much cash just to see professionals. Take a good look in the mirror every day and tell yourself that you CAN do it. Attend leadership camps your university or school offers. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. As long as you hold onto a positive mindset, you're already on your way. So don't hesitate!
Cheers!
I find the premise interesting. Apart from changing the person's look, they also have life coaches to help build up the person's self-esteem and confidence levels to an all-time high. Mind you, the people they select aren't just regular women. They really NEED help. Not just in terms of fashion, but also in building up their confidence.
It gets me to think of building self-esteem. One thing you should note: self-esteem is one's level of confidence, and this applies to almost everything. Whether it's making friends, doing a project, presenting a slideshow or something else, there has to be a measure of self-esteem in doing them. Yes, even making friends. If you're an introvert (usually possessing low levels of self-esteem) you'd definitely find it hard to talk to people. If you have low self-esteem, there isn't much that you'd be able to do. You'll be hiding yourself from everyone that they won't see the real potential inside of you. Won't that be a waste?
But how do we go about building it up? Well it doesn't take a six-year old to answer that. It's pretty obvious who you go to to do so. But what's more important is that you open yourself to the entire concept. If you shut yourself from the experts, you're not going to go anywhere.
I have a friend of mine who faces this problem. He's got a problem communicating properly with people - save me - and he just can't seem to get along with many. Apart from that, he comes from a broken family, and that only reinforces his introversion. (I'd love to give more details, but I would prefer to keep his identity secret. If you know that I mean you, please don't despair! Read on and it will definitely help you out)It's difficult to actually persuade him to the notion of building up his confidence, believing himself, things like that. Knowing him for a long time, I've tried long and hard to actually drill the concept into his head but I've had little to no success. It breaks my heart to see someone like him live so close to the edge and feel so helpless at the same time.
It's all up to him now. If I can't get him to see it my way, he will have to do it the hard way. And going it the hard way isn't as easy as accepting it earlier. It's not an impossible feat. But it does require more willpower to take that first step.
I admit that I have confidence issues myself. I won't go into detail, but I do my very best to try and maintain a good level. Who would deny it's important? If you're going to keep your doors closed forever, how are you expected to make a living? Feed the family? Expand your business horizons? Things like that? Don't you want to do just that?
There are still ways to go about building confidence without forking out so much cash just to see professionals. Take a good look in the mirror every day and tell yourself that you CAN do it. Attend leadership camps your university or school offers. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. As long as you hold onto a positive mindset, you're already on your way. So don't hesitate!
Cheers!
Friday, June 24, 2011
Insights: Of Tolerance and Opinions
Just recently I received a religious joke and, I admit, found it funny. But when I shared it with another, she was offended.
So before I continue I humbly apologize to anyone else who shares the same sentiments as this friend of mine. I've learned well from the experience.
It made me think about tolerance: what do we really tolerate? And in the context of sensitive issues such as this, how much CAN we tolerate?
It is undeniable that tolerance is a virtue. With it, we can actually put up with the numerous behaviors Man can provide - no matter how absurd or horrifying it may be. Some people have the tolerance level of a Zen monk. Some others are gravely offended by even the smallest of quirks. Some let it slide. Others find it difficult to forgive and forget.
But what do we tolerate?
For some, tolerance is invaluable. Certain quarters (usually a very small minority of the world's population) find it very easy to just brush something aside as light-hearted humor. Despite the message it may carry, or the implications it may bring in the long run, these men and women can just laugh it off and forget about it almost immediately so that they can avoid unwanted confrontations that can end even the strongest of friendships. How these people actually hold up to even some of the most insulting remarks is beyond anyone's comprehension. Some would call them "not right in their heads," but they're just as normal as you and I.
There have been instances where people who have a high amount of tolerance can turn things around to work for him. Enemies can become friends, bad situations turn into good ones, etctera. While these may sound like they come from some hit TV dramas, they are a reality. It's just that we've never seen it happen before, nor have we experience something like it. It's something like friends having a blast from poking fun at a fellow buddy, but at the end of the day they still go out for a drink and share lots of laughs without caring of what they said.
You might say it's nothing to do with tolerance. But believe me, if you look closely it's very deeply intertwined in that example.
On the other side of the fence though, there still exists handfuls of people who take offense pretty easily. It's not that they have no sense of humor or because they're overly-sensitive. It's the same as how some people prefer chocolate ice cream and others strawberry ice cream. (Personally I enjoy both!) They just have different opinions about what is being discussed, for isn't that what separates us from the rest? So while you might enjoy Russell Peter's antics as he seemingly insults numerous races across the globe, some may find it grossly racist. To them, making such jokes does not have any logical rational or even simply for comedy's sake. But should we really blame them?
The pro-tolerance people would shrug it off and get on with life. The opposites would definitely find lots to complain about, or would prefer to quietly keep it to themselves. IF you do want to tell me that you're either going with the former or the latter or, perhaps, just sit on the fence, I got no say to your choice. When it comes to tolerance, our choice of opinions matter most.
In a world where the little things could spark the largest of conflicts, it's no surprise that we have a very equal number of opposites in the subject of thinking. It's not like I want to separate Man into two or more separate camps in the school of thought, but merely point out everyone has their opinions on anything. If you ask anyone the same question, you're bound to get a lot of different answers to it. It's unavoidable. Everyone has their say, depending on their beliefs and principles.
If I ask you about euthanasia (mercy killing/pulling the plug; this shall be discussed in a later article) I'm definitely sure you have your thoughts. Some of you may agree that patients have a right to choose whether to live or not; some of you will feel death is not the final solution. It's all a matter of opinion. (Though on the subject of euthanasia, I have my doubts on the implications of legalizing it. More later)
As I was about to finish this up, I decided to ask my friend (the one whom I had told the joke to) of her opinion on the matter. She said: "Well, I would give that person the look and say that's not nice. Not because I'm religious but as a person with some common sense, we shouldn't make fun of people's beliefs."
So to end this topic, I would like to ask you the same question I asked her: if a friend of yours were to make a religious/racist joke - note that the term is JOKE, not REMARK, please; there is a large difference between both terms - and did not actually mean to insult or offend any parties, how would you react - especially if your religion/race is mentioned? Would you pass it off as 'comedy', or would you reprimand your friend for being so insolent? What is the reason for your reaction?
Do leave me your honest opinions after reading this. Your insights will help me understand the topic further and, maybe, we shall discuss it in depth. Cheers!
So before I continue I humbly apologize to anyone else who shares the same sentiments as this friend of mine. I've learned well from the experience.
It made me think about tolerance: what do we really tolerate? And in the context of sensitive issues such as this, how much CAN we tolerate?
It is undeniable that tolerance is a virtue. With it, we can actually put up with the numerous behaviors Man can provide - no matter how absurd or horrifying it may be. Some people have the tolerance level of a Zen monk. Some others are gravely offended by even the smallest of quirks. Some let it slide. Others find it difficult to forgive and forget.
But what do we tolerate?
For some, tolerance is invaluable. Certain quarters (usually a very small minority of the world's population) find it very easy to just brush something aside as light-hearted humor. Despite the message it may carry, or the implications it may bring in the long run, these men and women can just laugh it off and forget about it almost immediately so that they can avoid unwanted confrontations that can end even the strongest of friendships. How these people actually hold up to even some of the most insulting remarks is beyond anyone's comprehension. Some would call them "not right in their heads," but they're just as normal as you and I.
There have been instances where people who have a high amount of tolerance can turn things around to work for him. Enemies can become friends, bad situations turn into good ones, etctera. While these may sound like they come from some hit TV dramas, they are a reality. It's just that we've never seen it happen before, nor have we experience something like it. It's something like friends having a blast from poking fun at a fellow buddy, but at the end of the day they still go out for a drink and share lots of laughs without caring of what they said.
You might say it's nothing to do with tolerance. But believe me, if you look closely it's very deeply intertwined in that example.
On the other side of the fence though, there still exists handfuls of people who take offense pretty easily. It's not that they have no sense of humor or because they're overly-sensitive. It's the same as how some people prefer chocolate ice cream and others strawberry ice cream. (Personally I enjoy both!) They just have different opinions about what is being discussed, for isn't that what separates us from the rest? So while you might enjoy Russell Peter's antics as he seemingly insults numerous races across the globe, some may find it grossly racist. To them, making such jokes does not have any logical rational or even simply for comedy's sake. But should we really blame them?
The pro-tolerance people would shrug it off and get on with life. The opposites would definitely find lots to complain about, or would prefer to quietly keep it to themselves. IF you do want to tell me that you're either going with the former or the latter or, perhaps, just sit on the fence, I got no say to your choice. When it comes to tolerance, our choice of opinions matter most.
In a world where the little things could spark the largest of conflicts, it's no surprise that we have a very equal number of opposites in the subject of thinking. It's not like I want to separate Man into two or more separate camps in the school of thought, but merely point out everyone has their opinions on anything. If you ask anyone the same question, you're bound to get a lot of different answers to it. It's unavoidable. Everyone has their say, depending on their beliefs and principles.
If I ask you about euthanasia (mercy killing/pulling the plug; this shall be discussed in a later article) I'm definitely sure you have your thoughts. Some of you may agree that patients have a right to choose whether to live or not; some of you will feel death is not the final solution. It's all a matter of opinion. (Though on the subject of euthanasia, I have my doubts on the implications of legalizing it. More later)
As I was about to finish this up, I decided to ask my friend (the one whom I had told the joke to) of her opinion on the matter. She said: "Well, I would give that person the look and say that's not nice. Not because I'm religious but as a person with some common sense, we shouldn't make fun of people's beliefs."
So to end this topic, I would like to ask you the same question I asked her: if a friend of yours were to make a religious/racist joke - note that the term is JOKE, not REMARK, please; there is a large difference between both terms - and did not actually mean to insult or offend any parties, how would you react - especially if your religion/race is mentioned? Would you pass it off as 'comedy', or would you reprimand your friend for being so insolent? What is the reason for your reaction?
Do leave me your honest opinions after reading this. Your insights will help me understand the topic further and, maybe, we shall discuss it in depth. Cheers!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Entries
"So
Have you figured it out?"
A sudden question
From the stranger
On a beautiful afternoon
As the train passes
Wonderful sights
Of the prairies
"What are we talking about?"
I ask him
Too many things on my mind
"What it was
I asked you to ponder
In my absence"
He replied
Matter-of-factly
Sitting down
Next to Harley
Eager to play with the stranger
"Ah, I remember that
All too well
I have given much thought
But up until now
I don't know
What would give me an answer
That would satisfy me"
The stranger nodded
Dangling a string
In front of Harley
Who is always so keen
In playing cute games
Like this
"I don't have an answer either
It's something
You have to find out
Yourself
I don't have to repeat myself, don't I?
Offering you advice
Does not mean
You should follow it
You are not bound to my words
Or that of others
Merely choose what you feel
Is the right advice
And use it well"
"But I don't know
If my choice is right"
I voice my concerns
The stranger continues
To play with Harley
"Nobody ever made
The right choice
So easily
Unless it's their luck
Have you?
Look back on your life
All it means
Is that you are still learning"
Truth
While it pains me
To remember how awful
Those times were
They serve as reminders
Not to return to such a state
Ever
"So what about now?"
He asked
His eyes gazing into mine
Almost as if
He could see my future
"What does your heart say?"
I shrug
"I don't really know"
I admit
"Part of me
Refuses to believe
While the remainder
Has faith
That it will be alright
That it would work out
The way I hope it would"
"Cling onto that hope,"
Says he
"But not too tightly
It may not go as planned
But at least
You can proudly tell yourself
You conquered your fears
And nothing changed
For the worse
Tread lightly
For you tread on thin ice"
"You are likened
To be on a ship
On perilous
And fickle
Waters
You are its captain
Much like how you conduct this train
And your every choice
Decides
Your survival
Or your demise
On the high seas"
"Would you finally
Complete this puzzle?
Would you continue
To find the missing pieces?
Would you surrender
And never attempt this again?
Would it be too late
To regret the choices made?
I do not know
Either one of these
May happen
And that
Will ultimately
Decide the next chapter of your life."
"Plan accordingly,"
He adds
Stroking Harley on his head
"Because tomorrow carries forward
What today went through
Do not blind yourself
To the larger truth
Do not feel ashamed
By the mistakes you made
Simply
Be full of hope
For hope
Is all that Man has left"
The wind blows
From an open window
One I thought I had locked
But I look round again
And the stranger is gone
Gone
With the wind
Hence, the open window
I stand up
And shut it tight
Sighing
Harley looking up at me
With his cute looks
He must wonder
Where the stranger has gone
I pick up the kitten
Stroking his chin
"He will be back"
I whisper
Though I doubt he understands
I put him down on the seat
Just as my phone began to ring
The call
I had expected
(Had I?)
I smile
And remind myself
How Fate is so fickle
So I pen it all down
And keep his words at heart
Someday
I will be complete
Someday
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Insights
Local actress Ida Nerina herself is going through a challenge of her own. I'd only recently found out she's now wheelchair bound after reading her inaugural fortnightly article in the Star some time ago. But despite that, she doesn't let it bother her at all. In fact, she describes her current situation as something as an eye-opener to many new truths.
From her two articles published, she has already highlighted about how common prejudice towards the handicapped is in Malaysia - a sad truth - and the importance of staying strong and living each day like it were your last. Reading those articles makes me wonder: "Why can't we all see the light of our errors?"
We've been caught up with our so-called lives at such a hectic and rushed pace till we don't realize how important it is for us to slow down and relax. Only until we encounter a serious or life-changing problem do we actually see how much time we've actually wasted in the process of wasting our years. For those who still have years left in them, there is still time to make the U-turn. Else, do what you can to turn things around for the better before it's too late.
We're all only human. If we really could do so much in so little time, we would be more than mere mortals. In fact, the world wouldn't be where it is now. But I guess we're on our own. The future is still salvageable, as long as we can see there is still hope. And do something about it as well.
Cheers everyone.
From her two articles published, she has already highlighted about how common prejudice towards the handicapped is in Malaysia - a sad truth - and the importance of staying strong and living each day like it were your last. Reading those articles makes me wonder: "Why can't we all see the light of our errors?"
We've been caught up with our so-called lives at such a hectic and rushed pace till we don't realize how important it is for us to slow down and relax. Only until we encounter a serious or life-changing problem do we actually see how much time we've actually wasted in the process of wasting our years. For those who still have years left in them, there is still time to make the U-turn. Else, do what you can to turn things around for the better before it's too late.
We're all only human. If we really could do so much in so little time, we would be more than mere mortals. In fact, the world wouldn't be where it is now. But I guess we're on our own. The future is still salvageable, as long as we can see there is still hope. And do something about it as well.
Cheers everyone.
Listen Up!
TO EVERY MAN AND WOMAN WHOSE LIFE HAS BEEN WASTED FOR NOTHING
I am appalled.
In fact, I am deeply ashamed that you call yourself a human. I will tell you right now that, for your stupidity, you are nothing more but a misbegotten creature.
Honestly, I cannot fathom why one such as you would end up in this state. I had believed that, as mature young minds, you would be able to understand your responsibility as a part of this society. But I suppose my doubts - and my fears - were proven true after all.
You need not say a word. Your very mistake has not only cost the society, it has also impacted yourself in a profound way. Specifically, how are people going to entrust you with a responsibility when you always put it off to someone else? Your role carries as much weight as the rest, but you fail to see the error of your ways no matter how obvious it may be. Doubtlessly, you would carry this blame back to them - or perhaps curse behind their backs for causing you this trouble.
Speak not a word. All of you are the same. One mere mistake and lo and behold, your gripes leave your very lips, poisoning the minds of other uneducated fools such as yourself. You think yourself the greater, do you? When comes the time for God to judge your sins, I would like to see you explain yourself.
I was once like you: going about with life as I complained about every little thing that bothered me. But I began to realize all that is for naught. I started to believe in many good things in life. I believe that we all have a responsibility towards each other, whether or not it is directly related to us. I believe that by upholding the many virtues and values preached in religion, we can all stand united despite our religious differences. I believe we were born to love our neighbours, despite our weaknesses. I believe that we were not meant to bear ill will towards each other - forgiveness is divine, isn't it? God created us to serve a better purpose to one another for everyone's good - unlike your lot.
I see it deep in your soul, how you have failed your fellow men and women for being such an impudent imbecile, unaware of the truth that binds us all. You are blinded in your own judgments, your 'worries', your anger, that you fail to see the reality is far from that.
What reality, you ask? Look around you: the world is on the brink of annihilation. We should actually grasp the truth that unless we do something quick, we will have no home to live in anymore. We need to recognize that all the luxuries we want are only leading us to decadence, and that our arrogance and inherent mistrust of others are only widening a rift between each of us that can never be mended. Can't you see this? Can't you understand there's more at risk right now than your shortage of wanton excesses?
You think that you have issues? Tell that to the legions of starving children in Africa. Tell that to the people whose loved ones perished in natural disasters, or even at the hands of others. Tell that to the millions of homeless that dot the globe. You think they have it any easier than you? You think they can enjoy a life of promise? Do you think so? Wake up, you spineless fool! If you really thought living your life is meaningless, then what about these people?
These people continue with their lives. Many of them know it is difficult. It strains them to the very bone. But they have hope. They can still bear to smile, even when it hurts them so. They still cling on to even the smallest sliver of hope that they can find. Despite the setbacks, despite the inhumanities and the atrocities committed in the name of 'the greater good,' these individuals press onwards. Why doesn't anyone take a hint?
And you? What have you done for your kind? While untold millions whose names you will never know die every second - EVERY SECOND - out of hunger, we sit in posh restaurants and spend money just to devour a large portion of food, and half of that amount gets tossed into the garbage piles to be eaten by rats. And that happens every single day. While millions more live in total darkness, never to enjoy the wonders of electricity, we sit in our homes and waste thousands of dollars a year in wastage. Wastage that will never ever come back or be recycled. While some people walk barefoot miles just to get to school or work and then back home, unable to afford a car - let alone a motorcycle - but nevertheless content, we drive fancy cars which we change occasionally and continue to spew detrimental smoke into the air and pollute it even further. And think of its implications to our overall health.
Have we ever given thought to the implications of all the shit we've thrown around? Have we ever thought that we needed to put our foot down and stop all this nonsense together? Why are we still living like this? It all stems from the tyrants, the rapscallions, the doubters, the skeptics, the madmen; people who think themselves as superior as compared to everyone else. This is the big picture. If you still fail to see it, you should not consider yourself a man.
Now you say you regret? Then let that regret gnaw at your soul for eternity until you can atone for your faults. You deserve no better fate than that. But how am I to know what you say is the truth? People make promises and assurances, but many times they fail to keep their word. When others ask them to fulfil their word, they say that they will. Over and over again, this cycle continues. And in the end? Nothing is done. All their pledges were only full of hot air. Are you going to make that mistake as well?
I am in no position to decide your fate. I'll leave that to God to deliver His judgment unto you. As much as I do wish God would punish you so that you will see your wrongs, I want to remind you that it is delivered for you to learn and repent. Everyone wants a second chance; you should not be barred from such an opportunity. The world is made up of people, in the end, and every one - you included - needs to start something and end all this unnecessary suffering once and for all. It can start simply from yourself. So long as you have an honest heart to make amends, redemption is certain. Do it grudgingly, and only God can save you. If He decides you worthy to be saved.
I am done with you, you miserable wretch. Now get out of my sight, and pray that you will find the chance to prove yourself the better and change your attitude. If not, so help me, there will be no way I shall forgive you for your crimes against Humanity.
I am appalled.
In fact, I am deeply ashamed that you call yourself a human. I will tell you right now that, for your stupidity, you are nothing more but a misbegotten creature.
Honestly, I cannot fathom why one such as you would end up in this state. I had believed that, as mature young minds, you would be able to understand your responsibility as a part of this society. But I suppose my doubts - and my fears - were proven true after all.
You need not say a word. Your very mistake has not only cost the society, it has also impacted yourself in a profound way. Specifically, how are people going to entrust you with a responsibility when you always put it off to someone else? Your role carries as much weight as the rest, but you fail to see the error of your ways no matter how obvious it may be. Doubtlessly, you would carry this blame back to them - or perhaps curse behind their backs for causing you this trouble.
Speak not a word. All of you are the same. One mere mistake and lo and behold, your gripes leave your very lips, poisoning the minds of other uneducated fools such as yourself. You think yourself the greater, do you? When comes the time for God to judge your sins, I would like to see you explain yourself.
I was once like you: going about with life as I complained about every little thing that bothered me. But I began to realize all that is for naught. I started to believe in many good things in life. I believe that we all have a responsibility towards each other, whether or not it is directly related to us. I believe that by upholding the many virtues and values preached in religion, we can all stand united despite our religious differences. I believe we were born to love our neighbours, despite our weaknesses. I believe that we were not meant to bear ill will towards each other - forgiveness is divine, isn't it? God created us to serve a better purpose to one another for everyone's good - unlike your lot.
I see it deep in your soul, how you have failed your fellow men and women for being such an impudent imbecile, unaware of the truth that binds us all. You are blinded in your own judgments, your 'worries', your anger, that you fail to see the reality is far from that.
What reality, you ask? Look around you: the world is on the brink of annihilation. We should actually grasp the truth that unless we do something quick, we will have no home to live in anymore. We need to recognize that all the luxuries we want are only leading us to decadence, and that our arrogance and inherent mistrust of others are only widening a rift between each of us that can never be mended. Can't you see this? Can't you understand there's more at risk right now than your shortage of wanton excesses?
You think that you have issues? Tell that to the legions of starving children in Africa. Tell that to the people whose loved ones perished in natural disasters, or even at the hands of others. Tell that to the millions of homeless that dot the globe. You think they have it any easier than you? You think they can enjoy a life of promise? Do you think so? Wake up, you spineless fool! If you really thought living your life is meaningless, then what about these people?
These people continue with their lives. Many of them know it is difficult. It strains them to the very bone. But they have hope. They can still bear to smile, even when it hurts them so. They still cling on to even the smallest sliver of hope that they can find. Despite the setbacks, despite the inhumanities and the atrocities committed in the name of 'the greater good,' these individuals press onwards. Why doesn't anyone take a hint?
And you? What have you done for your kind? While untold millions whose names you will never know die every second - EVERY SECOND - out of hunger, we sit in posh restaurants and spend money just to devour a large portion of food, and half of that amount gets tossed into the garbage piles to be eaten by rats. And that happens every single day. While millions more live in total darkness, never to enjoy the wonders of electricity, we sit in our homes and waste thousands of dollars a year in wastage. Wastage that will never ever come back or be recycled. While some people walk barefoot miles just to get to school or work and then back home, unable to afford a car - let alone a motorcycle - but nevertheless content, we drive fancy cars which we change occasionally and continue to spew detrimental smoke into the air and pollute it even further. And think of its implications to our overall health.
Have we ever given thought to the implications of all the shit we've thrown around? Have we ever thought that we needed to put our foot down and stop all this nonsense together? Why are we still living like this? It all stems from the tyrants, the rapscallions, the doubters, the skeptics, the madmen; people who think themselves as superior as compared to everyone else. This is the big picture. If you still fail to see it, you should not consider yourself a man.
Now you say you regret? Then let that regret gnaw at your soul for eternity until you can atone for your faults. You deserve no better fate than that. But how am I to know what you say is the truth? People make promises and assurances, but many times they fail to keep their word. When others ask them to fulfil their word, they say that they will. Over and over again, this cycle continues. And in the end? Nothing is done. All their pledges were only full of hot air. Are you going to make that mistake as well?
I am in no position to decide your fate. I'll leave that to God to deliver His judgment unto you. As much as I do wish God would punish you so that you will see your wrongs, I want to remind you that it is delivered for you to learn and repent. Everyone wants a second chance; you should not be barred from such an opportunity. The world is made up of people, in the end, and every one - you included - needs to start something and end all this unnecessary suffering once and for all. It can start simply from yourself. So long as you have an honest heart to make amends, redemption is certain. Do it grudgingly, and only God can save you. If He decides you worthy to be saved.
I am done with you, you miserable wretch. Now get out of my sight, and pray that you will find the chance to prove yourself the better and change your attitude. If not, so help me, there will be no way I shall forgive you for your crimes against Humanity.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Updates
Celebrating my grandma's birthday tomorrow.
My brother and relatives from Malacca are coming back to celebrate the occasion.
Can't wait.
Cheers!
My brother and relatives from Malacca are coming back to celebrate the occasion.
Can't wait.
Cheers!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Stories
"I must admit that it is an honor to receive a legend such as yourself," the Qol'vandav-tal said to Lord Dronos, as the two of them walked along the hallways of the magnificent Qol'rah Palace. Close to them, the Qol'ahrar stayed close to their leader, their blade-pikes ever ready. Lord Dronos wondered just how ready the guards were should an attack really occur.
"I never expected my reputation to precede me this far out in the Multiverse," he replied with a warm smile, hoping that his warmth may diffuse the tension the Qol'vandav-tal felt in his presence. Honestly, he never did want to leave such a godly impression over the Qol'rash-nai. Besides, how did he become so hero-worshipped by a race that never had revealed itself for the past thousand years or so?
The Qol'rash-nai were a big mystery. He had only recently discovered their existence as they were passing through the so-called empty Mren'datha Universe, and even so it was by sheer chance the ship detected bio-signatures on the surface of the barren world of Qol'nar. It came as to a surprise that they would find a race living here when everyone - the Technolords included - claimed that an entire Universe held no life within it. Unless they feared the Qol'rash-nai? Feared them? A race no one even knew existed? It was just like fearing the non-existent "boogeyman" of old Terran lore.
But he gave the Qol'rash-nai credit: they really SHOULD be feared. While these bipedal humanoids did not possess the technological might of the Technolords, they were still a force to be reckoned with - simply because they were a race born for the sake of war.
War flowed through their veins. War is their sole master, the one they dedicate themselves to. They were based on a culture of death, destruction and suffering - a lifetime of their history filled with countless battles between rival clans vying for control over the planet they call home. According to the Qol'vandav-tal's custodians, it was because of these long, bloody crusades that had caused their planet to fall into such a state - barely capable of supporting any life on it. The atmosphere was clouded with toxic gases that will continue to poison the air for many more generations. The soil and the oceans suffered a similar fate. Despite the wretched state of their world, the Qol'rash-nai nevertheless went on with their life of war.
Lord Dronos was still puzzled over their war-like nature. Why do they still continue? Though the Qol'vandav-tal now leads his people as a united race, there are still a small group of dissidents - the Qol'rakh-nai - that continue to adhere to the old ways. Perhaps the Qol'rash-nai will never know the meaning of true peace.
"Though we live in seclusion, Lord Dronos," the Qol'vandav-tal replied, "we still keep our ears out to the Great Beyond. Your legendary feats have indeed made yourself a name among the ranks of many - including my own men."
Lord Dronos noticed. The Qol'rash-nai looked up to him much higher than they probably revered their great leader. This idolatry, while humbling, is giving him the creeps.
"To have a legend walk among our people is indeed an honor," he added, as they stood to pause at a balcony facing the palace gardens, a beautiful little paradise on a barren rock.
Lord Dronos smiled disarmingly. "Please now," he remarked, "I am just a mere mortal in the end. You and I are not much different in any way."
"We have our differences, Lord Dronos," came the warmaster's nonchalant reply. "The principles that define me are incomparable to yours. You are an aristocrat, a man of peace, one who would not take up his sword unless the situation demands it. I, however, am born of war. The glory of battle runs through my veins, and nothing can satiate my thirst for it."
Lord Dronos nodded in understanding.
"But what if," he decided to ask, "at the end of the Armageddon, when it does come, peace and order are finally restored to the Multiverse, what of your people? They cannot continue to live as a culture of war in that era."
The Qol'vandav-tal nodded, his eyes gazing distantly into the horizon. "I do not believe that my people will live to enjoy such a time."
The Savior of the Multiverse was taken aback. "Why?" was all he could ask.
The Qol'vandav-tal looked back at him, hands on the balcony rails. "When the End of Days dawns, my people are prophesied to be the very first to charge into the Great Battle. Our fates have been sealed to sacrifice ourselves for the greater good, and so shall it be."
"I do not believe that the end of your race would be destined as such," Lord Dronos answered, still unsure of the warlord's words.
The Qol'vandav-tal laughed, heartily. "For the mightiest man the Multiverse has seen, you are indeed a skeptic yourself!"
Lord Dronos laughed as well, scratching his head.
"Mere mortals have reason to question the scales of fate, do we not?" he replied.
"Even if it has already been set?"
"I do not believe that Fate's hand would have already dealt the cards; only point us to where we may be headed."
The warlord shook his head.
"Do you really think so, Lord Dronos? And would you say that you becoming the Savior has already been destined?"
Lord Dronos opened his mouth to reply, but he couldn't. That very question made him remember that it was never his choice. He never wanted to become the Savior of the Multiverse in the first place. Though the responsibility has grown into him, he cannot help but wonder if Fate had already signed him up for all this.
The Qol'vandav-tal stood up and walked towards Lord Dronos. Placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, the Qol'vandav-tal looked him in the eyes.
"You are still young, Lord Dronos," he began, "and I can tell you that this Multiverse we inhabit possesses secrets we may never fathom in the long run. Fate is unkind. Fate is unjust. It is true we are the masters of our own fate. But ultimately, is it our choice? Or has it already been fated? Even I, who have lived over five centuries, cannot find a real answer. Or are we destined to find it after all?
"Heed my advice, Savior: there is yet a long road ahead of you. Just because you command one of the finest armies the Mutliverse has ever seen does not make you a capable leader. Just because you are a gifted psyker does not make you the master of all Life. Just because you banished the Darksun into an eternity of imprisonment does not make you a hero. In the end, we are still the victims of Fate. Any day, you may lose command of your glorious army, or admit defeat to another psyker, or fail to see the return of the Darksun - if it is such.
"Do not stop here, Lord Dronos. The journey is not over yet."
The Qol'vandav-tal patted Lord Dronos' shoulder and began to walk off, his guards keeping close to him.
Lord Dronos stood there and began to ponder the words of the Qol'vandav-tal, wondering if he would ever finally understand its secrets after all.
* * *
Being the only one to have visited the Qol'rash-nai homeworld, Lord Dronos compiled all that he has seen and heard in his journal - which is now missing after the recent Fall of DRONOS Ultima. After he departed from their homeworld, no one had ever set foot again on the barren world of Qol'nar ever again. However, there have been a number of sightings of Qol'rash-nai mercenaries out in the Multiverse, though not much else is known of them.
"I never expected my reputation to precede me this far out in the Multiverse," he replied with a warm smile, hoping that his warmth may diffuse the tension the Qol'vandav-tal felt in his presence. Honestly, he never did want to leave such a godly impression over the Qol'rash-nai. Besides, how did he become so hero-worshipped by a race that never had revealed itself for the past thousand years or so?
The Qol'rash-nai were a big mystery. He had only recently discovered their existence as they were passing through the so-called empty Mren'datha Universe, and even so it was by sheer chance the ship detected bio-signatures on the surface of the barren world of Qol'nar. It came as to a surprise that they would find a race living here when everyone - the Technolords included - claimed that an entire Universe held no life within it. Unless they feared the Qol'rash-nai? Feared them? A race no one even knew existed? It was just like fearing the non-existent "boogeyman" of old Terran lore.
But he gave the Qol'rash-nai credit: they really SHOULD be feared. While these bipedal humanoids did not possess the technological might of the Technolords, they were still a force to be reckoned with - simply because they were a race born for the sake of war.
War flowed through their veins. War is their sole master, the one they dedicate themselves to. They were based on a culture of death, destruction and suffering - a lifetime of their history filled with countless battles between rival clans vying for control over the planet they call home. According to the Qol'vandav-tal's custodians, it was because of these long, bloody crusades that had caused their planet to fall into such a state - barely capable of supporting any life on it. The atmosphere was clouded with toxic gases that will continue to poison the air for many more generations. The soil and the oceans suffered a similar fate. Despite the wretched state of their world, the Qol'rash-nai nevertheless went on with their life of war.
Lord Dronos was still puzzled over their war-like nature. Why do they still continue? Though the Qol'vandav-tal now leads his people as a united race, there are still a small group of dissidents - the Qol'rakh-nai - that continue to adhere to the old ways. Perhaps the Qol'rash-nai will never know the meaning of true peace.
"Though we live in seclusion, Lord Dronos," the Qol'vandav-tal replied, "we still keep our ears out to the Great Beyond. Your legendary feats have indeed made yourself a name among the ranks of many - including my own men."
Lord Dronos noticed. The Qol'rash-nai looked up to him much higher than they probably revered their great leader. This idolatry, while humbling, is giving him the creeps.
"To have a legend walk among our people is indeed an honor," he added, as they stood to pause at a balcony facing the palace gardens, a beautiful little paradise on a barren rock.
Lord Dronos smiled disarmingly. "Please now," he remarked, "I am just a mere mortal in the end. You and I are not much different in any way."
"We have our differences, Lord Dronos," came the warmaster's nonchalant reply. "The principles that define me are incomparable to yours. You are an aristocrat, a man of peace, one who would not take up his sword unless the situation demands it. I, however, am born of war. The glory of battle runs through my veins, and nothing can satiate my thirst for it."
Lord Dronos nodded in understanding.
"But what if," he decided to ask, "at the end of the Armageddon, when it does come, peace and order are finally restored to the Multiverse, what of your people? They cannot continue to live as a culture of war in that era."
The Qol'vandav-tal nodded, his eyes gazing distantly into the horizon. "I do not believe that my people will live to enjoy such a time."
The Savior of the Multiverse was taken aback. "Why?" was all he could ask.
The Qol'vandav-tal looked back at him, hands on the balcony rails. "When the End of Days dawns, my people are prophesied to be the very first to charge into the Great Battle. Our fates have been sealed to sacrifice ourselves for the greater good, and so shall it be."
"I do not believe that the end of your race would be destined as such," Lord Dronos answered, still unsure of the warlord's words.
The Qol'vandav-tal laughed, heartily. "For the mightiest man the Multiverse has seen, you are indeed a skeptic yourself!"
Lord Dronos laughed as well, scratching his head.
"Mere mortals have reason to question the scales of fate, do we not?" he replied.
"Even if it has already been set?"
"I do not believe that Fate's hand would have already dealt the cards; only point us to where we may be headed."
The warlord shook his head.
"Do you really think so, Lord Dronos? And would you say that you becoming the Savior has already been destined?"
Lord Dronos opened his mouth to reply, but he couldn't. That very question made him remember that it was never his choice. He never wanted to become the Savior of the Multiverse in the first place. Though the responsibility has grown into him, he cannot help but wonder if Fate had already signed him up for all this.
The Qol'vandav-tal stood up and walked towards Lord Dronos. Placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, the Qol'vandav-tal looked him in the eyes.
"You are still young, Lord Dronos," he began, "and I can tell you that this Multiverse we inhabit possesses secrets we may never fathom in the long run. Fate is unkind. Fate is unjust. It is true we are the masters of our own fate. But ultimately, is it our choice? Or has it already been fated? Even I, who have lived over five centuries, cannot find a real answer. Or are we destined to find it after all?
"Heed my advice, Savior: there is yet a long road ahead of you. Just because you command one of the finest armies the Mutliverse has ever seen does not make you a capable leader. Just because you are a gifted psyker does not make you the master of all Life. Just because you banished the Darksun into an eternity of imprisonment does not make you a hero. In the end, we are still the victims of Fate. Any day, you may lose command of your glorious army, or admit defeat to another psyker, or fail to see the return of the Darksun - if it is such.
"Do not stop here, Lord Dronos. The journey is not over yet."
The Qol'vandav-tal patted Lord Dronos' shoulder and began to walk off, his guards keeping close to him.
Lord Dronos stood there and began to ponder the words of the Qol'vandav-tal, wondering if he would ever finally understand its secrets after all.
* * *
Being the only one to have visited the Qol'rash-nai homeworld, Lord Dronos compiled all that he has seen and heard in his journal - which is now missing after the recent Fall of DRONOS Ultima. After he departed from their homeworld, no one had ever set foot again on the barren world of Qol'nar ever again. However, there have been a number of sightings of Qol'rash-nai mercenaries out in the Multiverse, though not much else is known of them.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Entries
Change
Change is a constant
Change is unpredictable
Change is crucial
How many of us
How many deny its worth
In this growing world?
Is not change
The very tool that brought us
To where we are now?
Change is good
Change is bad
Change comes
But how you change
Is your choice alone
We embrace change
But
Only in the most dire of situations
When hope seems lost
But can we encourage change
By other means?
Through our own belief
That change is good?
How much do we change?
Do we go for
A major reshuffle
Or go with
Removing just the bad eggs?
What needs short-term change?
What needs long-term change?
What needs repair?
What needs continuity?
There are many advocates
Who call for change
They come in numbers
As they cry out for
A change in the government
To a change in lifestyle
For the environment's sake
Oh, everyone believes
Change will make things better
Is not change important?
Certainly so
But are we willing to?
I believe
Change is a must
To adapt
In a cruel world
That teeters on the edge
Of self-destruction
But to change completely
One must have faith
And perseverance
To go on this long road
Change is never easy
But successful change
Pays in dividends
A worthwhile investment
In the long run
I am an example of change
I have seen my life
Turn around
For the better
Although
There are yet still hurdles
To be overcome
And inner demons
To battle with
But I cannot give in
Never can I admit defeat
For if I do
It will be my undoing
The chance the Devil needs
To damn my soul for eternity
In the bowels of Hell
Can I give him that chance?
NEVER
So I pen it all down
Steeling my resolve
Strengthen my faith
Strengthen my beliefs
Hold fast to my principles
Become who I want to be
Become a successful changed man
Become
Who I truly am
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Entries
Yes? No? What then?
Answers!
I need answers
Not more questions
And who said anything
About questions being the answers?
That's not the case
Not in this context
'tis a rainy day
Raindrops pattering
On the window
Visibility is poor
I cannot even see
The view of the countryside
That the train passes by
Where did this rain cloud come from?
No matter
I need a solution
Now, if possible
The stranger's cryptic remarks
Always leave me dangling
Wanting more
But none I receive
Such an illusive man
I had hoped
He would be here
To tell me what I missed
To guide me the right way
But he does not show
And thankfully
Nor the Devil
In our previous conversation
He had mentioned
I lacked something
And if I found it
It may mean
My life would be complete
I knew what he had hinted at
But I told myself
"No more!
'tis not for one such as I
I am unfeeling no more
All I am
Is but a shadow of my former self
And so I shall remain
Forever"
The stranger would not agree
With my statement
IF he were here
He always believes
In second chances
But I?
I do not take chances so easily
Unless I believe in the outcome
Which in this case
I don't
I drum my fingers on the sill
Gazing out
At the rain
Harley on the seat opposite me
Watching me
With his cute blue eyes
Perhaps wondering
If I am alright
But he does not comprehend
How complicated we humans are
Complicated?
Or making things complicated?
Both, I suppose
Long ago
I was like the others
Just like my friends
Those I believe are the lucky few
I thought I was complete
I thought, finally
I had something I only dreamed of having
A treasure
Though incomparable to family
But nevertheless
A treasure
But in the end
I lost it
I died
So to speak
I failed
I fell from grace
(So to speak)
And now
Here I stand
Unwilling to return to such days
The past shall remain so
And I shall see to it
Aye, they were good times
But that was then
This is now
I cannot return to those days
For returning
Will only cause me
More anguish
More trouble
And trouble was never my friend
But day in, day out
The question bugs me
The stranger's comments bug me
How he continues to remind me
By accident
That the road is far from over
"You may have been hurt,"
He had said
"But that does not mean
It will define you in future
We cannot control fate
But we should not let fate
Master our very lives
Ere you condemn yourself
To a life of suffering
For eternity"
So yes? No? What then?
I pen it all down
Skeptical about the matter
Skeptical about the truth
If it is the truth
If it is what I lack
If it is possible
To return to those days
If
Insights: Strength Within
Do you read the papers regularly? Honestly, I'll admit that I don't take the trouble to do so, but once in a while I do pick it up to see what interesting or inspiring articles the daily would offer. And what I find always does give me inspiration.
Take the recent Star2 article (Sunday, June 12th) about a boy named Grayson Gilbert. If you don't read the Star, I'll print a few lines of the article here:
'The boy approached the marble statue, gazing up - miles up, as he remembers it now - into the face of the benevolent figure it depicted.
It was May 8, 1996, and Grayson Gilbert, six, had a lot on his mind.
A few months earlier, surgeons had found a tumour woven through his abdominal cavity... They'd removed his gall bladder, half his stomach and 80 percent of his pancreas. Chemotherapy had taken his hair.
And as he waited to see his doctors again, the boy was leaving a personal note at the feet of the sculpture of Jesus that has graced the foyer below the dome at John Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore since 1896.
"Dear Jesus," it read in his wobbly hand. "This is Grayson. If you could, just heal the other kids please. Thank you very much."
Jed Kirschbaum, a photographer for the Sun newspaper, happened to be in the room seeking an image to accompany an article the paper was running about the 100th anniversary of the statue. The photo he got off - of the frail boy in his orange baseball shirt, his hairless head illuminated by a shaft of light - hit the front page on Mother's Day and moved readers in a way few ever do.
...There's no reason Grayson has emerged as a medical anomaly. But as he sits on the couch in his family home... one factor is impossible to miss. "I've always had this faith," he says, "that things are going to work out."'
Doctors only gave him a year to live - if he was lucky. At best, five years if he was one of a rare few. But now he's a communications major at Towson University after going through numerous life-threatening ordeals. What he suffered from was a rare medical condition, and even after recovering from that he went through many other complications that almost killed him. In fact, 'Grayson Gilbert still faces an uncertain future. The varices could flare up, as could many of his prior conditions if he doesn't stay on top of them.'
But his doctor says 'his condition is stable, that no road map exists but that Grayson should live a long life.'
Now, 21-year old Grayson has become somewhat of a symbol of hope to what I would say the lost, least and lonely - specifically those who suffer from terminal diseases like cancer. After the photo ran in the Sun, 'representatives of the Children's Miracle Network - childrensmiraclenetworkhospitals.org, the international organisation that raises funds for sick children - contacted Grayson. Before that year was up, the nonprofit [group] named him its ambassador for the state of Maryland. They flew the Gilberts to Florida, where they stayed at Disney World, met celebrities and spoke with others in their situation. The kid with cancer had another lease in life.'
Not only that, 'Grayson got it into his head to raise money for cancer research to "help the other kids."' With the help of officials from the Jos. A. Bank Clothiers, the company put his drawings onto neckties and over the last decade, 'Grayson and other patients from the John Hopkins Children's Center have designed "Miracle Ties" that have raised tens of thousands of dollars for the Children's Miracle Network.'
Shouldn't we see his strength as something we should learn? While we continue to grumble about how stupid this fellow is, or how dumb that subject is and so on, shouldn't we realize that all that continual complaining is only a waste of our time? Our time here on this Earth is just like Shakespeare's "brief candle." One day we will fade away from this mortal world. Shouldn't we be playing our part?
Stop and smell the flowers. Buy a child ice cream. Play with Down's Syndrome kids. Do something. We only have one life to give. Shouldn't we give for the sake of a greater good? What would you do if you were in Grayson's shoes?
If all you've ever done is gripe throughout your entire lifespan, then it's too late to regret.
Cheers, everyone.
More links:
http://www.reporterherald.com/print.asp?ID=32972
http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/sun-magazine/bs-sm-statue-grayson-gilbert-archives,0,1950296.story
http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/sun-magazine/bs-sm-cancer-survivor-20110522,0,465722.story
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