Thoughts: What's Happened To The REAL Michaelian Spirit?

How it saddens me that the Michaelian Spirit has become debased, flawed and tainted by the student community that comes and goes through their time here in the prestigious institute that is St. Michael's.

How has it come to this, I ask?

The real Michaelian Spirit has been buried beneath the taint that it now wears around its shoulders. It now carries a most dishonorable reputation among the Ipoh folk, for whenever they hear the name of our school, rather than remember it as the premier school it is known as in the past, parents dread to hear of its name and the notoriety of its students.

They whisper to one another, "That boy is from St. Michael's? I can't believe his parents would actually send him to that God-forsaken school. It almost seems like the students run the institution, not the teachers!"

The real Michaelian Spirit is an extension of the virtues that De La Salle and his fellow Brothers practise and preach during their times in educating the lost, the last, the least and the lonely. It also encompasses the moral values we Asians are proud of, thus creating a peaceful, pleasant atmosphere between the students and their teachers.

After all, wasn't this the very school that created the leaders of today? Wasn't this the school that saw the rise of numerous sporting legends, corporate figures, top executives and the like? Wasn't this school renowned for its exceptional student leaders? Wasn't this school a formidable force in debating?

How the times have changed. Today, the near-century old school is nothing but a shadow of its former glory. Its walls are defaced with pointless graffiti. Its paint is peeling away at the hands of unscrupulous kids. Its hallways filled with the loud chatter of boys and girls in the classes, or of students running from one end to the other, engaging in races and other games. Fights often break out when it is least expected. Teachers have a hard time controlling the situation, which is slowly taking a toll on them in more than one way.

These problems were unheard of in the past. During the tenure of the Brother-Directors, I'd say the cane was the final resort when it comes to disciplinary cases. (Brother Pius is to be thanked for introducing it into circulation in SMI) Where once it was THE symbol of fear in the hearts of students, now it has become nothing more than a symbol of office for disciplinary teachers, a tool to "discipline" rowdy/indignant students who don't seem to be fazed by it. What happened?

Even when SMI DID face critical issues on gangsterism, the much-loved former principal Mr Louis was the one who stepped in and changed everything for the better. In fact, the school flourished under his capable leadership. He was, after all, a former Michaelian who was dedicated in keeping the real Michaelian Spirit alive and burning in the hearts and minds of the students. Upon his departure, things only went downhill. And among the early victims included our Michaelian Spirit.

So why should our school, a premier institute of education proud of the rich La Sallian history behind its existence, suffer from such social degradation? While I cannot deny that there are certain parties who don't seem to give a hoot about our school's condition, neither the building nor the good reputation the Brother-Directors left behind shouldn't be allowed to be tarnished.

So, what has happened to the Michaelian Spirit? Has it finally died, poisoned by the actions of the new young generations? Nay, it's just lost in translation, another victim in the declining social environment here in Malaysia, sharing the same fate as many other different scenarios. (All of them related to local culture and the like) There's no telling when the real Michaelian Spirit will ever return. But looking at the school's current sorry state, I doubt it will ever resurface.

Someone please do something.

Thoughts: Discrimination Abound

The recent headlines have brought me back to face my computer screen and blog about one particular topic: prejudice.

In fact, it was thanks to Marina Mahathir's Musings that was printed in Wednesday's The Star that made me type this out. In her post, she writes of the discrimination, hate and inherent mistrust upon Muslims across the globe after the September 11th attacks, and how this can be changed with better knowledge of the Islamic world and its customs, traditions and so forth. Not only that, following the breakout of the Arab Spring that has affected the Middle East for months now, many people have changed their stance with Muslims and are beginning to see them in a different light.

I shall quote Marina Mahathir:

Ten years later, although it cannot be said that Islamophobia has disappeared, Western perspectives on Islam have become more measured and based on better knowledge. One of the biggest boosts... has been the Arab Spring. 

Suddenly the images of Muslims were young, modern and protesting not about the West, but about their own corrupt leaders... in 2011 the Middle East became associated with the yearning for freedom and democracy, one not too different from what developed countries enjoyed. 

Women were seen at the forefront of the revolution, both head-scarved and not, and changed the image of the oppressed Muslim woman. 

It just goes to show that prejudice and discrimination, both rooted in fear of the unknown, can always be dispelled with better knowledge, at least in those willing to learn...

I can honestly tell you that I have been oblivious to what has happened to the Middle East before the Arab Spring started. I had actually believed that even after 9/11 the Arab world was relatively peaceful, if not shaken to its core after the horrifying disaster. Yes, you could say I was ignorant to what was really happening. But when the Arab Spring broke out it made me see just how the Middle East had its own fair share of problems - and not just because of the militant movements that lurk in the shadows.

While it is good to see reconciliation between the Muslim world and the rest of the globe's population coming to terms with one another, it is important to note that all this fear, hate and discrimination is the fault of mass media.

What we've seen on TV are nothing but 'angry bearded men wielding weapons and shouting threats to the West.' The media somewhat branded the Islamic community as terrorists, undemocratic, violent, oppressors of women. The media brazenly trumpeted the so-called "dark side of Islam". All we've seen and heard on the news have been filled with stereotypes of Muslim people - of those who rashly reacted in anger over the West's actions - and from here fear - and prejudice - came and took everyone by the throat.

That's funny. I've always learned from the history books that Islam is no different from any other religion - always differing right from wrong; doing more good for the community; inculcating moral values within the family; and so on. And all it took were a few reports from the media to incite so much negativity.

Already others have been affected by this Islamophobia. A Sikh man killed because he was wearing a turban. Orthodox Jewish rabbis pulled off a plane for praying in a language other passengers didn't understand. Special inspections for people with even the slightest tinge of an Arabic name. Suddenly, no longer can anyone trust their Muslim friends for just about anything.

If it wasn't for the commitment of certain individuals who have defiantly stood up to educate the masses on Islam, be they Muslims or non-Muslims, surely Islamophobia would continue to thrive. And while it still does remain in the hearts of people who ignorantly refuse to accept the truth, it's great news to see this hysteria seems to have subsided to much lower levels. Either that, or the news continues to hide the facts from the public.

And while we're still on the subject of prejudice, what about closer to home? I can tell you now that when I first heard of the Seksualiti Merdeka Carnival and its ban by the police, I thought the police were doing the right thing. Don't ask me why; it just didn't seem right to me at that point in time.

Naturally, I changed my stance after reading some articles, and based on my own beliefs: just like what Marina Mahathir said of the Islamic world, shouldn't the LGBT community be given time to explain itself? Shouldn't we be open to what they have to say?

I believe that many people who read this would be angered by my stance - especially those who say it's not right to be that way. Well, what do you want to do about it? Start some kind of witch hunt and burn them all at the stake? Would that really work? Would you stop them?

You wouldn't. You can never be able to stop them. No matter how much you try, it's like trying to exterminate weeds.

I have heard of cases where parents disown their children because they're different. I have seen how these people are shunned from the community just because they are who they are. Can we blame them for being different? If my child came to me one day and admitted that he/she was one of them, should I disown him /her too?

As human beings, we should have the heart to look after one another despite our differences. So why are we resorting to all this unnecessary hate?

The Seksualiti Merdeka event isn't trying to convince people that promiscuity and such is the way to go. Rather, from my standpoint, it's a platform to allow the LGBT minority to have their say among the majority; it's to allow them to slowly assimilate themselves into the rakyat and be useful to the nation. Rather than let them rot working as sex workers in some dirty back alley, shouldn't we give them the right to work in offices as desk clerks, or even as engineers or lawyers?

So who's to blame? Not just the media. Oh, no. Even political parties  from both sides of the fence are to be blamed for using their power to leverage against the event - from religious hardliners and even to learned men. And why is Datuk Ambiga taking so much flak just because she was to launch the event? Is it because she was part of the controversial Bersih 2.0 campaign? Is it because of her so-called 'pact' with Pakatan? Is it more than those reasons? I leave the politicking to you folks.

She should be applauded for being brave enough to do such a thing. I mean, who would when they'd rather not use their reputation for something good like this. What's keeping us from supporting their cause? The fear and the resulting discrimination we've held against the LGBT community? It's because of those few bad eggs who tarnish the reputation of their fellows.

Even I am to be blamed for disrespecting their kind. But I've realized that it's wrong to do so. Besides, who am I to blame them? They're no different from you and I.

I just hope that the organizers would be able to meet with the IGP and discuss matters peacefully. If the green light is finally given, they definitely deserve a pat on the back.

It's high time we lifted the veil off the subject and bring light to an otherwise misunderstood topic.

More Thoughts

I confess: lately I've become ever more distant than my classmates than I should. I've noticed that ever since I've begun to see things from a new light, the more I know the further I get from USS3. It hasn't escaped my sight. I know this is happening. Am I powerless to stop it?

Not at all.

Yes, the distance between me and my class is probably as wide as... well, not the Grand Canyon, of course. But it's no surprise, really. Over the months, I've been doing and saying things I shouldn't have - and many that I regret - and in between I've also begun to adopt very radical changes in my life that, I dare say, I would never have thought to adopt. It's like they said: "When you change, you don't stick around with the old. You naturally move on."

Am I right to say that my change has only widened the rift between all my classmates?

It's both yes and no.

Why yes?
Like what I said above, change moves you onward. Whatever that you embraced may or may not remain in you when you make that transition. While I cannot deny many of the Science 3 people have been great friends (you know who you are) I'm afraid that there are some aspects which I cannot fit in well. Don't get me wrong, all of you are wonderful people - full of different personalities that have helped color the class. Unfortunately, that's the reason why I have started to float away. The color I possess will only darken things.

And who wants a whiner in their group anyway?

So if I've been quite the introvert with you guys, then my humblest apologies. But I can't promise I'll try to fit in. I might not. I might never.

And why no?
Only a small handful know that this change I'm going through is necessary. And I have Yoon to thank for his support, both explicit and implicit. If it wasn't for him, I may have dropped out. In fact, it's an irony that I had to force him not to!

Forgive me for the sins I've committed, dear God. And I pray that you, my friends, will know my errs and absolve them from me, for I have seen my faults and I wish to repent. And I do not intend to be like what my father is now, damn his soul. I never intended to walk in his shoes and leave a path of destruction like he has.

Cheers all.

Show Me The Meaning...

...of true suffering
...of being lonely
...of psychological torture
...of love
...of hate
...of willpower
...of true friendship
...of strength
...of spiritual rebirth
...of sweet success
...of pain
...of misery
...of poverty
...of dread
...of despair
...of being close to Death
...of great burdens
...of talent
...of perseverance
...of patience
...of determination
...of stamina
...of trust
...of the past, of the present, and of the future

If I knew what they really mean to a man, mayhaps I may understand what it means to suffer - and what it takes to break from the bonds of suffering.

Oh that my grief were thoroughly weighed, and my calamity laid in the balances together!For now it would be heavier than the sand of the sea: therefore my words are swallowed up.For the arrows of the Almighty are within me, the poison whereof drinks up my spirit: the terrors of God do set themselves in array against me.~ Job 6:2-4

Entries

The nemesis came again

Marching in full force

Could it be over soon?

Could this war come full circle?

For years

I have did battle with it

The nemesis and I

Know each other well

Far too well, in fact

For all our conflict

Has led us to learn of the other's strength

And that of his weakness too

But time and again

I have proven resourceful

Wily and cunning

The nemesis

It learns

Years have flown by

And those years have done little

To whittle its strength

It becomes greater by the day

By the hour

By the minute

By every passing second

Slowly my will falters

With every passing moment

The poisons of the nemesis

Beginning to work

Their dark magicks

Walls crumble and fall

The nemesis pours his malice

His rage and fury

Through the cracks

His minions march relentlessly

While my men

Brave as they are

They are no match to something

Incomparable to the mortal soul

The nemesis knows it will win

But the question is:

When?

One last fortress stands now

The rest all but conquered

Under the banner of the nemesis

The mighty bastion

A firm testament

Of endurance, strength and determination

Manned by hundreds of thousands

Loyal men and women

Willing to give their lives

To defend what is dearest to us

All of us

I watch the horizon

The trails of smoke

Signifying the nemesis's army

Coming from the south

Approximately fifty kilometers

From where I stood

I couldn't help but wonder

What could I expect from this?

Defeat?

Victory?

"It's all up to you"

Says the stranger

Sipping on tea

With scones on the side

Watching the smoke plumes rise

From the campfire next to me

Wait

How is it that he's here?

"Don't you know me well enough by now?"

He grinned

As he always does

I saunter up to him

Troops passing me by

Engrossed with preparations

I take a seat next to him

And he proffers a scone

"It's tasty," he adds

I take one

Hesitantly

Before I open my m0uth to ask

He answers

"It's only a dream after all"

I blink

Is he speaking the truth?

"Of course!

How is it

That you're fighting off

An unspeakable evil

When you're actually

On a train ride

Going somewhere

In hopes of finding answers?"

I blink

He definitely is speaking truth

"What you face now,"

He continues

Another scone down

Sipping his tea

"This nemesis

I believe it's an extension

Of your dark side

Or something you've been hiding

What could it be?

I believe you should tell me that

What are you hiding?"

"My insecurities, stranger

My fears

My doubts

My despair

My loneliness

My...

Well

Essentially, my pessimism

No more, no less

The fight here is

More or less

A metaphorical description

Of the mental battle I wage

Likened to be a real conflict

And

I'm on the losing side"

I finish with a sigh

He offered another scone

As he thought

Of what he should say

It seems so easy

For one like him

To offer advice

"It's a war alright"

He looks around him

At the soldiers pacing up and down

A menagerie of veterans

And brave civilians

"I can imagine

The troops are your mental 'resolve'

The only thing standing

In fear's way

But...

For an army

It seems so insignificant"

"I've told you," I reply

"I'm on the losing side

My morale's never been this low

In fact

It's become a battle

Just to get through a day

Without any bruises or wounds"

"It's funny

You only found out

About your condition

Only days ago

And already you're giving up?

Are you kidding?

You're such a pessimist"

I hang my head

"If you didn't know already

I AM ONE

And there's nothing I can do

To change that fact"

"See a doctor first

Then talk

You haven't even started

And already you're complaining?

You're a joke, boy"

"Listen!"

I stand up in anger

The stranger gazes at me

Not surprised

Perhaps expecting my tantrum?

The others ignore us

As they continue to make ready

For the following

"If you were in my shoes

Then you'd understand

How I really feel"

"No matter how much

How much I fight

Every time I reach

A break through

The nemesis finds a weakness

And back it is to square one

He is anathema

The perfect embodiment

Of my worst nightmare

Everything goes down the drain

Everything

Everything!"

"How long have I been fighting now?

Too many years now!

All the conflict we've waged

Up until this point

I don't want to fight

I'm sick and tired

I'm weary and weak

I can't go on any further

I really can't

No more

Not anymore"

My shoulders stoop

The stranger keeps his eyes on me

He nods

"Then

I guess

This marks the end of my journey

With you, my friend

I cannot help you

Win this war

It is one

You have to win yourself

Thus

I wish you well

And I wish you peace"

He rises from his seat

Teacup still in his hand

Now empty

Pats my shoulder

And disappears

Klaxons blare

Someone in the distance

Screams in panic

Another shouts

The enemy approaches!

In the distance

Legions of the nemesis' men

March to claim victory

While in the fortress

Prayers

Tears

Farewells

Preparations

Weapon checks

The lot

The stranger is gone now

Forever?

Honestly?

I don't know

I'm lost now

The enemy approaches

And I worry

This battle may be my last

Fear not, friends

The entries will continue

So long as I live

But I live in the shadow

Of my own fears

And that of the nemesis

That lurks inside me

He taunts me all the time

Enticing me to fight on

Should I?

For too long now I've been fighting

I don't know what else

I have left in me

Maybe I've no other choice

But to finish this

And see how it ends

If I fall

Bury me in an unmarked grave

Somewhere on the outskirts

Close to nature

Have a small tombstone

And on it

Etch my epitaph

"If only I were better

Than who I was"

Send me a garland of flowers

Once a year

And remember me

For the little good that I've done

For you

If any at all

I pray that this is not the end

Thoughts

Evangelists. Not that I have anything against them, but I don't understand why they're so intent on converting everybody.

Shouldn't they have some respect for the other person's religion if he/she doesn't want to convert?

This was the case just this Wednesday (a public holiday, no less) when a woman (of which group/church I will not state here) were in my neighborhood. One woman came to the gate and talked to my mum about "the changing world" and all that jazz. Sure, it's changing, we can see it in the papers, duh.

After she left (leaving behind a magazine or something) another group happened to pass by. Another woman came to the gate and started asking the same things, this time to me. I kept insisting - very politely, mind you - that her friend had already come and left us a nice little gift. But the aunty just kept on insisting to talk to us and trying to convince us she's up to no harm, until finally she relented and left us a present too.

My mum was annoyed. "Nuisance(s)," she muttered angrily.

C'mon now, we're happy with our religion and faith. Why should we convert? Why, 'cause - according to some hardliners - if we don't we go to Hell? Bullshit.

None of MY Christian friends (and I have many) ever asked me to convert. And they never told me that I'd go to Hell if I didn't. So what's wrong with this picture?

Let's not get too overanxious with all this, can we? Everybody has a choice. So please, understand that WE have already made our choice. Thank you.

Cheers all.

With Opened Eyes I See The Truth

It only just occurred to me that, indirectly, I have become an unwitting tool to be manipulated.

And this stems from the fact that I'm just too plain nice. I can never say no. To (almost) anyone. At all. The rare few instances where I put my foot down is only if (a) I'm too busy to involve myself in their work; (b) I have a deep hatred for the person in question; (c) I feel extra lazy; or (d) I've no mood to do it.

It's not that I'm being used by people. In fact, I'm allowing myself to intervene in their work simply because of a few reasons, among them being:

(a) what they're doing is a total piece of crap which, IMHO, I feel can be done much better if they put in the extra effort;
(b) they need "guidance", or so my head says;
(c) I feel somewhat sympathetic that they're close to a crazy predicament if they don't get it done;
etcetera etcetera, yadda yadda, gab gab.

So phooey. I've made myself do something that's not benefiting myself or the other party. (Benefiting them in terms of allowing them to do a good job)

So it's high time I made a clean fix about this problem. This day forth, the help you want from me is a selective process. If I can see that it will benefit both parties in some ways or another, then yes I will gladly help you. But you need to pull your own weight as well. Or else, what's the point of me helping you doing it?

There are only a few rare exceptions in this rule, i.e. preparing Tihn Chern's speech for Teacher's Day. Yes, don't give me that awkward look of surprise. He didn't know what to talk about, so I offered to write him a simple speech. Which I did, and from there made a few changes of his own. In the end, all I did was provide him an avenue to deliver an inspiring speech (well, I felt it was) - he filled in the rest of the blanks.

That's how cooperation should be.

So you can stop hoping I'll be kind enough to give you clues. I've given far too many, and from what I've seen, they haven't helped you at all. Not a bit. Sure, you'll say it helped them answer the questions. But that's just a temporary solution. The permanent one is yours in the end.

Thoughts

Expressing oneself is difficult. While we wish to be heard in the midst of the crowd, not a lot of people actually appreciate it. Being self-centred, they tend to absorb themselves in the belief that no one but them is correct. And most times, not a lot of others actually pay attention. Both reasons are among others on why the world isn't what I hoped it would be.

I daresay that we actually pay heed to the matter, what with all the other stuff we need to focus on.

Me, I'd say communicating still does seem hard. It's not that I can't. It's more of a worry of "saying something at the wrong time in the wrong place". But that's not all. There are probably more reasons as to why I find it hard to communicate. Don't get me wrong, you guys are great people. But, I have to admit there are times when I wonder if we're ever actually REALLY listening to each other. Myself included.

And communicating about ourselves - that's another story. I can tell you I always approach my friends when I'm in doubt or troubled. The advice I get is sound, but most times I always wonder if there could be a better answer waiting out there. But one has to keep looking, or else he may not find it.

And it's not surprising if people misunderstand me. It's normal to, just like how I misunderstand others-  whether by accident or otherwise. I just have to go on and hope an action would make them change their minds.

Life goes on, though. We had best make use of the time we have left.

Cheers for now.

Entries

Cry

Though you cry a river

The dilemma remains

Unsolved

As it continues

To taint

And spread its poison

It weakens you

I can see how it affects you

Your words

Your emotions

Your thoughts

They begin to betray you

They begin to change

Under the influence

Of this strange toxicity

This contagion

Haunts Man

Since the beginning of Time

Because of it

We have become

Estranged

Separated

Segregated

Denigrated

Persecuted

From the rest

Cry

Cry a river you may

This blight tears at you

It drains your life

It adds your sorrows

It adds your fears

It adds your tears as well

Cry

I cried before

Many times, last count

The plague overwhelmed me

I narrowly perished

I thought myself lost

I thought there was no hope left

No hope at all

But guided I was

By a bright light

As bright as a star

(Please do note

It is not God which I speak)

And I began to see

What others do not

Though of course

Old habits die hard

But nevertheless

A man must embrace change

Change is constant

Is it not?

Cry

I know not why you cry

But I understand your fears

And your doubts

Even if I know nought

Of anything that haunts you

Cry

I cannot cry for you

But a shoulder I can provide

For you to cry on

Though the plague yet consumes me

And threatens my very life

I cannot let myself

Stand with arms folded

And watch my dearest friends

Collapse to the ground

I cannot sit still

If they falter

Though the plague yet consumes me

I need to stand firm

Trust in myself

Trust in my faith

And mayhaps

The cure will come to me

Cry

Cry no longer

I shall be there

All you need to do

Is ask

And so I pen it all down

Seeking the cure for this disease

Seeking it within

And without

To cleanse and rid of it

Once and for all

Such is my belief

This epidemic shall come to an end

Its end

Stand Up And Fight!

Got problems? Everybody faces one or more every day.

But trying to share them to a friend or loved one? To us, that's a herculean task.

What really prevents us from sharing our deepest - and sometimes, darkest - secrets, mostly those involving ourselves? Is it our ego? Our selfishness? The very fact no one can be trusted? Is it really hard to be honest with another to find a solution to our problems?

The way I see it, having others come to terms with our problems might not seem a plausible choice. Like I said, everyone has problems. Even if we wanted to shed light on our internal crises, could they be of help? As There is a quote: "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle." There are some times when reinforcements may not be the sole reason a battle is won. In the end, the good fight has to come from within.

I admit that I can't help approaching my friends for answers to my questions. I do it often, because the answers I provide are inconclusive. My peers may just provide me with the details I need to get on the right track. And I can tell you now that I don't always come clean with my own family. They are already burdened with other matters revolving around the family.

Up to one point in my life, I've been doing a heck load of griping and complaining. I was a pessimist those days. (And I still think I haven't resolved this fully) But it dawned on me that everyone is fighting a battle. It's not always about myself. (Though I can tell you I still have difficulty in trying to turn old habits around. Kinda like teaching an old dog new tricks) If I had kept myself from expanding my horizons, I may have become an introvert.

So I try to change. It's no easy task, but one needs to try.

But problems are a part of life. As much as I hate to sound like a hypocrite (or something else), it's inescapable. And not to mention a crucial piece in our self-development. Don't laugh at that. It's true. Ask any successful person and he/she will tell you they had to go through numerous learning experiences or opportunities of growth to reach where they are now. What they don't mention is that they never use the term "failure" to describe their experience.

Shouldn't we change our attitudes to problems?

While I don't deny some problems may be too much to handle, or may be too sensitive to be shared, at least have the perseverance and the willpower to stand up to them. If you really can't make it on your own, then by all means hesitate not to ask a friend to help you.

Shouldn't we be standing side by side through hardship?

I leave that final thought to you. Cheers all.

Insights

People tend to contradict the words of others and turn them into a whole new meaning. Whether by accident or otherwise, this occurence may lead to disastrous results if left alone. We can easily see it happening all around us, be it here in the country or somewhere abroad.

Because of these ignorant parties, words or phrases that mean no harm at all can suddenly become insulting, defamatory or slanderous to others that lead to unwanted consequences. Haven't we learned from our mistakes? And if that's not enough, when asked to apologize, these people defiantly justify their actions or words that it only enrages the opposing side even further. Nobody ever considers a more peaceable approach to solving the matter immediately. The long tirades of insults will continue for centuries to come.

And let's not forget the bigger problems that stem from their need of justification; war, riots, political turmoil - the list goes on.

In fact, in the Exodus, it is mentioned how, after Moses and Aaron bade to Pharaoh to let the people of God go, Pharaoh told all his taskmasters and officers:

"Ye shall no more give the people straw to make brick, as heretofore: let them go and gather  straw for themselves. And the tale of the bricks, which they did make heretofore, you shall lay upon them; you shall not diminish ought thereof: for they be idle; therefore they cry, saying, 'Let us go and sacrifice to our God.' Let there more work be laid upon the men, that they may labour therein; and let them not regard vain words." (Exodus 5:7-9)

And from there, the Israelites continued to suffer.

While Moses brought God's word to Pharaoh, that Pharaoh should let the Israelites go in peace, Pharaoh may have thought Moses was planning to lead a revolution against the Egyptians. Because he did not see how he had brought misery to the Israelites by enslaving them, Pharaoh believed that he had to control them further by tightening his grip over the Israelites. The same picture might just happen in the near future.

But we're not here to discuss of the bigger picture. Instead, we should look at it from the personal point-of-view. Everything starts here: from ourselves. So if we want to really change the world, we need to change ourselves.

To see how we inevitably lead ourselves to self-destruction is a saddening sight indeed. How we tend to believe in only ourselves. How we choose to alter the words of others, or in our beliefs and principles. How we do not want to tolerate others. Or not to live a compassionate life. Or to ignore the cries of anguish from the lost, the least and the lonely. Don't we get it? And when will we get it?

Nobody can truly justify what is true and what is false. Everyone holds a certain stand to a certain topic, and it may not be so easy to change their mindset. Like how a victim of rape may see all men as lustful monsters, or an ex-convict seeking to atone his sins may not be welcomed back into society. Hardline stances are hard to change when they do not have a valid reason into actions or events that will change them. We are a difficult bunch to please.

And let's not forget there will be detractors. They will always find some way to stand for the things they believe is 'right'. But again, what is right and what is wrong to Man? Does it satisfy the requisites as mentioned in your beliefs or religion? Does it seem logically sound? How we accept the information is up to what influences us. It is just like when St. John Baptist De La Salle faced the 'Writing Masters', those who preached the old ways of education, in court numerous times. The Writing Masters saw La Salle as a threat to their sovereignty as the only ones who were fit to educate the young. And because they did not want to change, to conform to something that was truly righteous, they went against La Salle many times.

The question that remains is whether we truly sate everyone's wants and needs. There is, without a doubt, no real way to substantiate this claim. We all have our own wishes and desires. But if we can open our hearts to the reality that no one is wrong in what they believe in, mayhaps the world would be so much more peaceful. The longer our misunderstandings remain, the deeper our enmity with one another.

I do not think our respective God wanted us to live this way.

Insights: Self-Esteem

There's this American program called "Style By Jury", where every week a random woman (I don't know whether men are involved) is selected to undergo a week-long makeover. But before and after the makeover, a randomly chosen jury is selected to give their first-hand impressions about the person; before the makeover, this would be somewhat of motivation to the person in question to go through the makeover. After the makeover, a new jury would give their thoughts to see just how much the person has changed in the week.

I find the premise interesting. Apart from changing the person's look, they also have life coaches to help build up the person's self-esteem and confidence levels to an all-time high. Mind you, the people they select aren't just regular women. They really NEED help. Not just in terms of fashion, but also in building up their confidence.

It gets me to think of building self-esteem. One thing you should note: self-esteem is one's level of confidence, and this applies to almost everything. Whether it's making friends, doing a project, presenting a slideshow or something else, there has to be a measure of self-esteem in doing them. Yes, even making friends. If you're an introvert (usually possessing low levels of self-esteem) you'd definitely find it hard to talk to people. If you have low self-esteem, there isn't much that you'd be able to do. You'll be hiding yourself from everyone that they won't see the real potential inside of you. Won't that be a waste?

But how do we go about building it up? Well it doesn't take a six-year old to answer that. It's pretty obvious who you go to to do so. But what's more important is that you open yourself to the entire concept. If you shut yourself from the experts, you're not going to go anywhere.

I have a friend of mine who faces this problem. He's got a problem communicating properly with people - save me - and he just can't seem to get along with many. Apart from that, he comes from a broken family, and that only reinforces his introversion. (I'd love to give more details, but I would prefer to keep his identity secret. If you know that I mean you, please don't despair! Read on and it will definitely help you out)It's difficult to actually persuade him to the notion of building up his confidence, believing himself, things like that. Knowing him for a long time, I've tried long and hard to actually drill the concept into his head but I've had little to no success. It breaks my heart to see someone like him live so close to the edge and feel so helpless at the same time.

It's all up to him now. If I can't get him to see it my way, he will have to do it the hard way. And going it the hard way isn't as easy as accepting it earlier. It's not an impossible feat. But it does require more willpower to take that first step.

I admit that I have confidence issues myself. I won't go into detail, but I do my very best to try and maintain a good level. Who would deny it's important? If you're going to keep your doors closed forever, how are you expected to make a living? Feed the family? Expand your business horizons? Things like that? Don't you want to do just that?

There are still ways to go about building confidence without forking out so much cash just to see professionals. Take a good look in the mirror every day and tell yourself that you CAN do it. Attend leadership camps your university or school offers. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. As long as you hold onto a positive mindset, you're already on your way. So don't hesitate!

Cheers!

Insights: Of Tolerance and Opinions

Just recently I received a religious joke and, I admit, found it funny. But when I shared it with another, she was offended.

So before I continue I humbly apologize to anyone else who shares the same sentiments as this friend of mine. I've learned well from the experience.

It made me think about tolerance: what do we really tolerate? And in the context of sensitive issues such as this, how much CAN we tolerate?

It is undeniable that tolerance is a virtue. With it, we can actually put up with the numerous behaviors Man can provide - no matter how absurd or horrifying it may be. Some people have the tolerance level of a Zen monk. Some others are gravely offended by even the smallest of quirks. Some let it slide. Others find it difficult to forgive and forget.

But what do we tolerate?

For some, tolerance is invaluable. Certain quarters (usually a very small minority of the world's population) find it very easy to just brush something aside as light-hearted humor. Despite the message it may carry, or the implications it may bring in the long run, these men and women can just laugh it off and forget about it almost immediately so that they can avoid unwanted confrontations that can end even the strongest of friendships. How these people actually hold up to even some of the most insulting remarks is beyond anyone's comprehension. Some would call them "not right in their heads," but they're just as normal as you and I.

There have been instances where people who have a high amount of tolerance can turn things around to work for him. Enemies can become friends, bad situations turn into good ones, etctera. While these may sound like they come from some hit TV dramas, they are a reality. It's just that we've never seen it happen before, nor have we experience something like it. It's something like friends having a blast from poking fun at a fellow buddy, but at the end of the day they still go out for a drink and share lots of laughs without caring of what they said.

You might say it's nothing to do with tolerance. But believe me, if you look closely it's very deeply intertwined in that example.

On the other side of the fence though, there still exists handfuls of people who take offense pretty easily. It's not that they have no sense of humor or because they're overly-sensitive. It's the same as how some people prefer chocolate ice cream and others strawberry ice cream. (Personally I enjoy both!) They just have different opinions about what is being discussed, for isn't that what separates us from the rest? So while you might enjoy Russell Peter's antics as he seemingly insults numerous races across the globe, some may find it grossly racist. To them, making such jokes does not have any logical rational or even simply for comedy's sake. But should we really blame them?

The pro-tolerance people would shrug it off and get on with life. The opposites would definitely find lots to complain about, or would prefer to quietly keep it to themselves. IF you do want to tell me that you're either going with the former or the latter or, perhaps, just sit on the fence, I got no say to your choice. When it comes to tolerance, our choice of opinions matter most.

In a world where the little things could spark the largest of conflicts, it's no surprise that we have a very equal number of opposites in the subject of thinking. It's not like I want to separate Man into two or more separate camps in the school of thought, but merely point out everyone has their opinions on anything. If you ask anyone the same question, you're bound to get a lot of different answers to it. It's unavoidable. Everyone has their say, depending on their beliefs and principles.

If I ask you about euthanasia (mercy killing/pulling the plug; this shall be discussed in a later article) I'm definitely sure you have your thoughts. Some of you may agree that patients have a right to choose whether to live or not; some of you will feel death is not the final solution. It's all a matter of opinion. (Though on the subject of euthanasia, I have my doubts on the implications of legalizing it. More later)

As I was about to finish this up, I decided to ask my friend (the one whom I had told the joke to) of her opinion on the matter. She said: "Well, I would give that person the look and say that's not nice. Not because I'm religious but as a person with some common sense, we shouldn't make fun of people's beliefs."

So to end this topic, I would like to ask you the same question I asked her: if a friend of yours were to make a religious/racist joke - note that the term is JOKE, not REMARK, please; there is a large difference between both terms - and did not actually mean to insult or offend any parties, how would you react - especially if your religion/race is mentioned? Would you pass it off as 'comedy', or would you reprimand your friend for being so insolent? What is the reason for your reaction?

Do leave me your honest opinions after reading this. Your insights will help me understand the topic further and, maybe, we shall discuss it in depth. Cheers!

Listen Up!

TO EVERY MAN AND WOMAN WHOSE LIFE HAS BEEN WASTED FOR NOTHING

I am appalled.

In fact, I am deeply ashamed that you call yourself a human. I will tell you right now that, for your stupidity, you are nothing more but a misbegotten creature.

Honestly, I cannot fathom why one such as you would end up in this state. I had believed that, as mature young minds, you would be able to understand your responsibility as a part of this society. But I suppose my doubts - and my fears - were proven true after all.

You need not say a word. Your very mistake has not only cost the society, it has also impacted yourself in a profound way. Specifically, how are people going to entrust you with a responsibility when you always put it off to someone else? Your role carries as much weight as the rest, but you fail to see the error of your ways no matter how obvious it may be. Doubtlessly, you would carry this blame back to them - or perhaps curse behind their backs for causing you this trouble.

Speak not a word. All of you are the same. One mere mistake and lo and behold, your gripes leave your very lips, poisoning the minds of other uneducated fools such as yourself. You think yourself the greater, do you? When comes the time for God to judge your sins, I would like to see you explain yourself.

I was once like you: going about with life as I complained about every little thing that bothered me. But I began to realize all that is for naught. I started to believe in many good things in life. I believe that we all have a responsibility towards each other, whether or not it is directly related to us. I believe that by upholding the many virtues and values preached in religion, we can all stand united despite our religious differences. I believe we were born to love our neighbours, despite our weaknesses. I believe that we were not meant to bear ill will towards each other - forgiveness is divine, isn't it? God created us to serve a better purpose to one another for everyone's good - unlike your lot.

I see it deep in your soul, how you have failed your fellow men and women for being such an impudent imbecile, unaware of the truth that binds us all. You are blinded in your own judgments, your 'worries', your anger, that you fail to see the reality is far from that.

What reality, you ask? Look around you: the world is on the brink of annihilation. We should actually grasp the truth that unless we do something quick, we will have no home to live in anymore. We need to recognize that all the luxuries we want are only leading us to decadence, and that our arrogance and inherent mistrust of others are only widening a rift between each of us that can never be mended. Can't you see this? Can't you understand there's more at risk right now than your shortage of wanton excesses?

You think that you have issues? Tell that to the legions of starving children in Africa. Tell that to the people whose loved ones perished in natural disasters, or even at the hands of others. Tell that to the millions of homeless that dot the globe. You think they have it any easier than you? You think they can enjoy a life of promise? Do you think so? Wake up, you spineless fool! If you really thought living your life is meaningless, then what about these people?

These people continue with their lives. Many of them know it is difficult. It strains them to the very bone. But they have hope. They can still bear to smile, even when it hurts them so. They still cling on to even the smallest sliver of hope that they can find. Despite the setbacks, despite the inhumanities and the atrocities committed in the name of 'the greater good,' these individuals press onwards. Why doesn't anyone take a hint?

And you? What have you done for your kind? While untold millions whose names you will never know die every second - EVERY SECOND - out of hunger, we sit in posh restaurants and spend money just to devour a large portion of food, and half of that amount gets tossed into the garbage piles to be eaten by rats. And that happens every single day. While millions more live in total darkness, never to enjoy the wonders of electricity, we sit in our homes and waste thousands of dollars a year in wastage. Wastage that will never ever come back or be recycled. While some people walk barefoot miles just to get to school or work and then back home, unable to afford a car - let alone a motorcycle - but nevertheless content, we drive fancy cars which we change occasionally and continue to spew detrimental smoke into the air and pollute it even further. And think of its implications to our overall health.

Have we ever given thought to the implications of all the shit we've thrown around? Have we ever thought that we needed to put our foot down and stop all this nonsense together? Why are we still living like this? It all stems from the tyrants, the rapscallions, the doubters, the skeptics, the madmen; people who think themselves as superior as compared to everyone else. This is the big picture. If you still fail to see it, you should not consider yourself a man.

Now you say you regret? Then let that regret gnaw at your soul for eternity until you can atone for your faults. You deserve no better fate than that. But how am I to know what you say is the truth? People make promises and assurances, but many times they fail to keep their word. When others ask them to fulfil their word, they say that they will. Over and over again, this cycle continues. And in the end? Nothing is done. All their pledges were only full of hot air. Are you going to make that mistake as well?

I am in no position to decide your fate. I'll leave that to God to deliver His judgment unto you. As much as I do wish God would punish you so that you will see your wrongs, I want to remind you that it is delivered for you to learn and repent. Everyone wants a second chance; you should not be barred from such an opportunity. The world is made up of people, in the end, and every one - you included - needs to start something and end all this unnecessary suffering once and for all. It can start simply from yourself. So long as you have an honest heart to make amends, redemption is certain. Do it grudgingly, and only God can save you. If He decides you worthy to be saved.

I am done with you, you miserable wretch. Now get out of my sight, and pray that you will find the chance to prove yourself the better and change your attitude. If not, so help me, there will be no way I shall forgive you for your crimes against Humanity.

Entries

Change

Change is a constant

Change is unpredictable

Change is crucial

How many of us

How many deny its worth

In this growing world?

Is not change

The very tool that brought us

To where we are now?

Change is good

Change is bad

Change comes

But how you change

Is your choice alone

We embrace change

But

Only in the most dire of situations

When hope seems lost

But can we encourage change

By other means?

Through our own belief

That change is good?

How much do we change?

Do we go for

A major reshuffle

Or go with

Removing just the bad eggs?

What needs short-term change?

What needs long-term change?

What needs repair?

What needs continuity?

There are many advocates

Who call for change

They come in numbers

As they cry out for

A change in the government

To a change in lifestyle

For the environment's sake

Oh, everyone believes

Change will make things better

Is not change important?

Certainly so

But are we willing to?

I believe

Change is a must

To adapt

In a cruel world

That teeters on the edge

Of self-destruction

But to change completely

One must have faith

And perseverance

To go on this long road

Change is never easy

But successful change

Pays in dividends

A worthwhile investment

In the long run

I am an example of change

I have seen my life

Turn around

For the better

Although

There are yet still hurdles

To be overcome

And inner demons

To battle with

But I cannot give in

Never can I admit defeat

For if I do

It will be my undoing

The chance the Devil needs

To damn my soul for eternity

In the bowels of Hell

Can I give him that chance?

NEVER

So I pen it all down

Steeling my resolve

Strengthen my faith

Strengthen my beliefs

Hold fast to my principles

Become who I want to be

Become a successful changed man

Become

Who I truly am