Thoughts

Friendship. Can't live with it. Can't live without it.

I still remember how I advocated the importance of friendship, just as much as how I stress on its importance to myself every single day, whether directly or otherwise. "Be the kind of friend you'd want to have" and all that sort of thing.

But in light on my recent opinions of Mankind's foibles and hypocrisy, I have been doing some thinking.

Let's assume a person decides to distance himself away from a select few individuals simply for his own greater good, would that actually imply hypocrisy? Even if he decides to distance himself from people who do not help him change positively, but are still jolly good people to have a simple conversation with, would this too be called hypocrisy?

So much of our actions in the past have inadvertantly caused a lot of misunderstandings in the present. In fact, things have become so muddled up that it's hard to determine what is real and what isn't. Like how the UN Security Council's majority were for the "no-fly zone" policy in Libyan airspace and those against the motion. Some quarters - especially the US - are calling it a necessary evil. Others condemn it with every passing day.

So what is really the right thing? Does it matter to perspective, be it a common or a divergent one? Does it have to be accepted by society's norms? Does it need approval?

So: friendship. Can't live with it, can't live without it.

There is no excuse as to breaking a friendship without a valid reason. I still recall a friend of mine (well, once was) removing me from her Friends' list on FB just for one little mistake. Can't blame anyone on this - hypocrisy, remember? But then again are we entitled to just cut off a friendship in such short notice? Or what then?

Everyone has the right to know their mistake(s), just like how criminals must know what they're being charged of before being taken to court. So shouldn't we embrace that methodology? Why not? Simple enough: one, our ego prevents us from saying things that make them AND us look bad; two, we're too pig-headed to say it out; three, it's the only thing that disallows people to bitch about others. And face it, Man thrives on gossip and small-talk. Every day you hear of it. And it never gets tiring - to the majority of the world.

So, caught between a rock and a hard place. Friendship has suddenly become a social hazard. Hypocrisy reigns supreme, the clear winner.

John Maxwell states that it's necessary to break off from people who are negatively impacting our life. The question is, how does one go about doing that without seeming hypocritical or offending to the other party? That's the challenge.

A Simple Chat

Hello.

I'm so sorry to bother. I couldn't help but wonder why you were sitting there and crying alone.

I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Calvyn. And it's alright if you don't want to shake my hand. I mean, we've only just met, right? Or have we met sometime ago?

You don't recall? Perhaps it's but a figment of my imagination then. Sorry.

Forgive me if I'm intruding, but I must ask: why are you crying?

My apologies. I know I shouldn't be asking, but seeing you in such a condition actually had me worried. Yes, I know it's hard to believe but I guess you can say I'm but one of a few of a dying breed of Samaritans out there.

Well, I don't know what's bothering you and I don't mind if you don't intend to tell me your reasons. Just keep them to yourself, alright?

Is it alright if I sit here? It is? Alright, I will, thank you.

The world is a cruel place to live in now. Everyday we are demanded to be at our best, no matter who we are or where we come from. During our childhood, our parents expect us to be at our very best behavior. In school, teachers want us to score the best possible grades in our capacity - though of course, they do want us to exceed our expectations. In the university, our lecturers hope we prepare the best report they'd ever seen. And at work, our employees want us to be the best in an unforgiving, competitive world.

It's so stressful.

Why does Life have to be so hard to us? There were times when I wondered if I'd ever find an answer - or answers - to this question. In the past, I would always be griping about how terrible my day was and all the terrible things that happened to me to anyone I knew - my friends, my family and even my fellow colleagues. Not only that, I'd inadvertently cause more trouble to myself rather than avoid it at all costs, and yet I was too blind to see beyond my initial judgments that everything was actually a mess.

I was resigned to the fact that I would always be in a state of delirium and despair. And I felt as if nothing in the world could save me from my misery.

But I guess... I guess I was wrong.

But take it easy, alright? It's not going to do you any good to cry. Well, of course it'll make you feel better. That I won't deny. Do you feel better? Well, good for you then. Sometimes we need to cry out our worries. But maybe it'd be better if you have someone to confide in. Such people are always of valuable help.

Don't sweat it out! The world is still yours for the taking. But it matters that you stay focused and stay strong despite all odds. And stay strong, you must, for your own good!

Everyone you know would definitely have high expectations on you, just like what I said earlier. And as much as we want to live up to such expectations, it's hard to accept that we can't always please everyone. It might seem easy for some to be able to balance out their work and play so neatly, while others would have a hard time just trying to focus on one of the two.

Me included. But I digress.

We can't make everyone happy. We can't expect to be in their winning list all the time. We're not born to be superhuman. In fact Lady Gaga sang it truthfully in her song "Born This Way" that we should 'rejoice, and love yourself today' because we were born this way. So all things considered, no matter what the others have to say we need to fuel ourselves with the faith to carry onwards fearlessly. Don't allow anyone else to make you feel insecure about yourself.

You are who you are. Can they take that away from you? Over their dead bodies!

Would you like a drink? I still have this 100 Plus can here I just bought. You can have it.

Nah, it's no big fuss. Just take it.

You don't have to repay me for that. Just take my advice to heart, and I'm sure you'll go far. You just have to believe, and it'll be alright in the end.

Now, I'd stumbled upon a video of a man named Nick Vuijcic on YouTube. Sorry, I don't really know how to pronounce his last name properly. Anyway, Nick here doesn't have any arms nor legs. The only thing that does come close to a leg is a little ingrown limb where his right leg is.

Many disabled people do come to terms with their condition. But not Nick. Oh, not Nick. He accepts his condition with good faith. And with lots of practise, he can easily do the things we can do all by himself. No need for anyone to lend a hand. Even when he's literally down on the ground, where it might seem impossible for someone like him to rise up, he proves that his condition can't stop him.

If Nick can carry the willpower to do so, why can't we? Why can't you?

Just remember now: no matter how tough the challenges ahead may be, just emulate Nick's strength to overcome even the greatest of challenges with enthusiasm and patience. Who knows, you'd be surprised to see how far you'll go in the near future.

So cheer up now. You have so many reasons to smile about. Keep smiling and keep shining. Do your best, and remember not to overwork yourself. You'll get closer to a brighter future.

Well, I have to leave now. I hope I helped out where I could.

Here's my number. If you need some advice or just someone to talk to feel free to call or text me, alright?

Cheers to you. And take care of yourself.

Mere Words?

Another incident to share, I have.

The LaSallian Friends in Touch were emphasizing on a youth project that aims to have a memorandum signed by several thousand youth (online) sent to the Ministry of Education in order to make certain important changes in the current education system as well as other matters pertaining to the youth. (Check it out here) Knowing the significance of this action, I decided to sign it as well and play my part for the greater good of the younger generation.

So after I did so, I decided to flip through the list of those who already signed their names. When I checked it there were about 200 plus names including mine, and some names reminded me of some of you readers. I wonder if those really are your names. I'm guessing it's a yes from all of you. So anyway, as I was flipping through the list I couldn't help but notice one person - who I shall name A - had attached a comment along these lines: "B, please see me in my office."

I was surprised. What could possibly lead to that being posted on the memorandum? I could only tell that A must be some person of authority and had noticed some comment that seemed to offend A. So I scrolled through the list till finally I found the cause: seems that B was criticizing A for putting a lot of strain onto B's class with loads and loads of assignments to do. There I found out A is a lecturer. And I almost laughed at the whole situation.

Moral of the story? Watch your words on the Net, because you'll never know when you'd have to eat them. After all, we live in a borderless world - and sooner or later someone is going to find out about what you say or do in the World Wide Web. For Heaven's sake, can't you just keep it to yourself or open some private log or something so you can rant all you want? Why go public?

Sigh. People are really an amusing bunch.

Cheers!