Am I True To Myself?

Something came to mind when I saw two friends of mine the other day:


Am I expecting more from my friends than I should?

I would think so.

But no one can look after each of his friends all the time, no?

Maybe it's still that I need to find a way to get over my low self-esteem.


And a battle inside me to win too.

It's a long climb. But hell, if I don't do it now, I'll never get over it.

Small steps.

Cheers.

Show Me The Meaning...

...of true suffering
...of being lonely
...of psychological torture
...of love
...of hate
...of willpower
...of true friendship
...of strength
...of spiritual rebirth
...of sweet success
...of pain
...of misery
...of poverty
...of dread
...of despair
...of being close to Death
...of great burdens
...of talent
...of perseverance
...of patience
...of determination
...of stamina
...of trust
...of the past, of the present, and of the future

If I knew what they really mean to a man, mayhaps I may understand what it means to suffer - and what it takes to break from the bonds of suffering.

Oh that my grief were thoroughly weighed, and my calamity laid in the balances together!For now it would be heavier than the sand of the sea: therefore my words are swallowed up.For the arrows of the Almighty are within me, the poison whereof drinks up my spirit: the terrors of God do set themselves in array against me.~ Job 6:2-4

We Are Like Monsters To Each Other

Take a good look in the mirror.

Think of 10 things that make you who you are.

Voice them out loud.

Think of 3 things you feel needs a makeover.

Voice those out loud too.

Process all that you've thought and said.

The time it takes for you to do both has a very large difference.

It's been said before that a person can only say nothing but praise for himself/herself and disgust for others deemed of a lower class in any aspect. Vice versa applies.

Now, think of 20 people you dislike.

From that list cut it down to the top 5 you hate.

Easy?

Now, apart from your parents and your true-to-life BFFs, list 6 people who have changed your life for the better. And I don't mean simple changes. In simple terms, people who brought the MOST PROFOUND changes in you - changes that have shaped you to become someone new, or someone better.

How about that?

Process all that you've thought and said.

Better rearrange your priorities.

On another note (one which is related to this post) I would like all of you to know that if you hate me down to the smallest bone, then I'm not going to make you change. Keep it to yourselves. And keep it up, for all I care. Fuck up my life if it makes you happy. I bend and break like any other ordinary human. But I relish the challenge.

So adieu for now.

With Opened Eyes I See The Truth

It only just occurred to me that, indirectly, I have become an unwitting tool to be manipulated.

And this stems from the fact that I'm just too plain nice. I can never say no. To (almost) anyone. At all. The rare few instances where I put my foot down is only if (a) I'm too busy to involve myself in their work; (b) I have a deep hatred for the person in question; (c) I feel extra lazy; or (d) I've no mood to do it.

It's not that I'm being used by people. In fact, I'm allowing myself to intervene in their work simply because of a few reasons, among them being:

(a) what they're doing is a total piece of crap which, IMHO, I feel can be done much better if they put in the extra effort;
(b) they need "guidance", or so my head says;
(c) I feel somewhat sympathetic that they're close to a crazy predicament if they don't get it done;
etcetera etcetera, yadda yadda, gab gab.

So phooey. I've made myself do something that's not benefiting myself or the other party. (Benefiting them in terms of allowing them to do a good job)

So it's high time I made a clean fix about this problem. This day forth, the help you want from me is a selective process. If I can see that it will benefit both parties in some ways or another, then yes I will gladly help you. But you need to pull your own weight as well. Or else, what's the point of me helping you doing it?

There are only a few rare exceptions in this rule, i.e. preparing Tihn Chern's speech for Teacher's Day. Yes, don't give me that awkward look of surprise. He didn't know what to talk about, so I offered to write him a simple speech. Which I did, and from there made a few changes of his own. In the end, all I did was provide him an avenue to deliver an inspiring speech (well, I felt it was) - he filled in the rest of the blanks.

That's how cooperation should be.

So you can stop hoping I'll be kind enough to give you clues. I've given far too many, and from what I've seen, they haven't helped you at all. Not a bit. Sure, you'll say it helped them answer the questions. But that's just a temporary solution. The permanent one is yours in the end.

Insights

People tend to contradict the words of others and turn them into a whole new meaning. Whether by accident or otherwise, this occurence may lead to disastrous results if left alone. We can easily see it happening all around us, be it here in the country or somewhere abroad.

Because of these ignorant parties, words or phrases that mean no harm at all can suddenly become insulting, defamatory or slanderous to others that lead to unwanted consequences. Haven't we learned from our mistakes? And if that's not enough, when asked to apologize, these people defiantly justify their actions or words that it only enrages the opposing side even further. Nobody ever considers a more peaceable approach to solving the matter immediately. The long tirades of insults will continue for centuries to come.

And let's not forget the bigger problems that stem from their need of justification; war, riots, political turmoil - the list goes on.

In fact, in the Exodus, it is mentioned how, after Moses and Aaron bade to Pharaoh to let the people of God go, Pharaoh told all his taskmasters and officers:

"Ye shall no more give the people straw to make brick, as heretofore: let them go and gather  straw for themselves. And the tale of the bricks, which they did make heretofore, you shall lay upon them; you shall not diminish ought thereof: for they be idle; therefore they cry, saying, 'Let us go and sacrifice to our God.' Let there more work be laid upon the men, that they may labour therein; and let them not regard vain words." (Exodus 5:7-9)

And from there, the Israelites continued to suffer.

While Moses brought God's word to Pharaoh, that Pharaoh should let the Israelites go in peace, Pharaoh may have thought Moses was planning to lead a revolution against the Egyptians. Because he did not see how he had brought misery to the Israelites by enslaving them, Pharaoh believed that he had to control them further by tightening his grip over the Israelites. The same picture might just happen in the near future.

But we're not here to discuss of the bigger picture. Instead, we should look at it from the personal point-of-view. Everything starts here: from ourselves. So if we want to really change the world, we need to change ourselves.

To see how we inevitably lead ourselves to self-destruction is a saddening sight indeed. How we tend to believe in only ourselves. How we choose to alter the words of others, or in our beliefs and principles. How we do not want to tolerate others. Or not to live a compassionate life. Or to ignore the cries of anguish from the lost, the least and the lonely. Don't we get it? And when will we get it?

Nobody can truly justify what is true and what is false. Everyone holds a certain stand to a certain topic, and it may not be so easy to change their mindset. Like how a victim of rape may see all men as lustful monsters, or an ex-convict seeking to atone his sins may not be welcomed back into society. Hardline stances are hard to change when they do not have a valid reason into actions or events that will change them. We are a difficult bunch to please.

And let's not forget there will be detractors. They will always find some way to stand for the things they believe is 'right'. But again, what is right and what is wrong to Man? Does it satisfy the requisites as mentioned in your beliefs or religion? Does it seem logically sound? How we accept the information is up to what influences us. It is just like when St. John Baptist De La Salle faced the 'Writing Masters', those who preached the old ways of education, in court numerous times. The Writing Masters saw La Salle as a threat to their sovereignty as the only ones who were fit to educate the young. And because they did not want to change, to conform to something that was truly righteous, they went against La Salle many times.

The question that remains is whether we truly sate everyone's wants and needs. There is, without a doubt, no real way to substantiate this claim. We all have our own wishes and desires. But if we can open our hearts to the reality that no one is wrong in what they believe in, mayhaps the world would be so much more peaceful. The longer our misunderstandings remain, the deeper our enmity with one another.

I do not think our respective God wanted us to live this way.

Listen Up!

TO EVERY MAN AND WOMAN WHOSE LIFE HAS BEEN WASTED FOR NOTHING

I am appalled.

In fact, I am deeply ashamed that you call yourself a human. I will tell you right now that, for your stupidity, you are nothing more but a misbegotten creature.

Honestly, I cannot fathom why one such as you would end up in this state. I had believed that, as mature young minds, you would be able to understand your responsibility as a part of this society. But I suppose my doubts - and my fears - were proven true after all.

You need not say a word. Your very mistake has not only cost the society, it has also impacted yourself in a profound way. Specifically, how are people going to entrust you with a responsibility when you always put it off to someone else? Your role carries as much weight as the rest, but you fail to see the error of your ways no matter how obvious it may be. Doubtlessly, you would carry this blame back to them - or perhaps curse behind their backs for causing you this trouble.

Speak not a word. All of you are the same. One mere mistake and lo and behold, your gripes leave your very lips, poisoning the minds of other uneducated fools such as yourself. You think yourself the greater, do you? When comes the time for God to judge your sins, I would like to see you explain yourself.

I was once like you: going about with life as I complained about every little thing that bothered me. But I began to realize all that is for naught. I started to believe in many good things in life. I believe that we all have a responsibility towards each other, whether or not it is directly related to us. I believe that by upholding the many virtues and values preached in religion, we can all stand united despite our religious differences. I believe we were born to love our neighbours, despite our weaknesses. I believe that we were not meant to bear ill will towards each other - forgiveness is divine, isn't it? God created us to serve a better purpose to one another for everyone's good - unlike your lot.

I see it deep in your soul, how you have failed your fellow men and women for being such an impudent imbecile, unaware of the truth that binds us all. You are blinded in your own judgments, your 'worries', your anger, that you fail to see the reality is far from that.

What reality, you ask? Look around you: the world is on the brink of annihilation. We should actually grasp the truth that unless we do something quick, we will have no home to live in anymore. We need to recognize that all the luxuries we want are only leading us to decadence, and that our arrogance and inherent mistrust of others are only widening a rift between each of us that can never be mended. Can't you see this? Can't you understand there's more at risk right now than your shortage of wanton excesses?

You think that you have issues? Tell that to the legions of starving children in Africa. Tell that to the people whose loved ones perished in natural disasters, or even at the hands of others. Tell that to the millions of homeless that dot the globe. You think they have it any easier than you? You think they can enjoy a life of promise? Do you think so? Wake up, you spineless fool! If you really thought living your life is meaningless, then what about these people?

These people continue with their lives. Many of them know it is difficult. It strains them to the very bone. But they have hope. They can still bear to smile, even when it hurts them so. They still cling on to even the smallest sliver of hope that they can find. Despite the setbacks, despite the inhumanities and the atrocities committed in the name of 'the greater good,' these individuals press onwards. Why doesn't anyone take a hint?

And you? What have you done for your kind? While untold millions whose names you will never know die every second - EVERY SECOND - out of hunger, we sit in posh restaurants and spend money just to devour a large portion of food, and half of that amount gets tossed into the garbage piles to be eaten by rats. And that happens every single day. While millions more live in total darkness, never to enjoy the wonders of electricity, we sit in our homes and waste thousands of dollars a year in wastage. Wastage that will never ever come back or be recycled. While some people walk barefoot miles just to get to school or work and then back home, unable to afford a car - let alone a motorcycle - but nevertheless content, we drive fancy cars which we change occasionally and continue to spew detrimental smoke into the air and pollute it even further. And think of its implications to our overall health.

Have we ever given thought to the implications of all the shit we've thrown around? Have we ever thought that we needed to put our foot down and stop all this nonsense together? Why are we still living like this? It all stems from the tyrants, the rapscallions, the doubters, the skeptics, the madmen; people who think themselves as superior as compared to everyone else. This is the big picture. If you still fail to see it, you should not consider yourself a man.

Now you say you regret? Then let that regret gnaw at your soul for eternity until you can atone for your faults. You deserve no better fate than that. But how am I to know what you say is the truth? People make promises and assurances, but many times they fail to keep their word. When others ask them to fulfil their word, they say that they will. Over and over again, this cycle continues. And in the end? Nothing is done. All their pledges were only full of hot air. Are you going to make that mistake as well?

I am in no position to decide your fate. I'll leave that to God to deliver His judgment unto you. As much as I do wish God would punish you so that you will see your wrongs, I want to remind you that it is delivered for you to learn and repent. Everyone wants a second chance; you should not be barred from such an opportunity. The world is made up of people, in the end, and every one - you included - needs to start something and end all this unnecessary suffering once and for all. It can start simply from yourself. So long as you have an honest heart to make amends, redemption is certain. Do it grudgingly, and only God can save you. If He decides you worthy to be saved.

I am done with you, you miserable wretch. Now get out of my sight, and pray that you will find the chance to prove yourself the better and change your attitude. If not, so help me, there will be no way I shall forgive you for your crimes against Humanity.

Entries

Yes? No? What then?

Answers!

I need answers

Not more questions

And who said anything

About questions being the answers?

That's not the case

Not in this context

'tis a rainy day

Raindrops pattering

On the window

Visibility is poor

I cannot even see

The view of the countryside

That the train passes by

Where did this rain cloud come from?

No matter

I need a solution

Now, if possible

The stranger's cryptic remarks

Always leave me dangling

Wanting more

But none I receive

Such an illusive man

I had hoped

He would be here

To tell me what I missed

To guide me the right way

But he does not show

And thankfully

Nor the Devil

In our previous conversation

He had mentioned

I lacked something

And if I found it

It may mean

My life would be complete

I knew what he had hinted at

But I told myself

"No more!

'tis not for one such as I

I am unfeeling no more

All I am

Is but a shadow of my former self

And so I shall remain

Forever"

The stranger would not agree

With my statement

IF he were here

He always believes

In second chances

But I?

I do not take chances so easily

Unless I believe in the outcome

Which in this case

I don't

I drum my fingers on the sill

Gazing out

At the rain

Harley on the seat opposite me

Watching me

With his cute blue eyes

Perhaps wondering

If I am alright

But he does not comprehend

How complicated we humans are

Complicated?

Or making things complicated?

Both, I suppose

Long ago

I was like the others

Just like my friends

Those I believe are the lucky few

I thought I was complete

I thought, finally

I had something I only dreamed of having

A treasure

Though incomparable to family

But nevertheless

A treasure

But in the end

I lost it

I died

So to speak

I failed

I fell from grace

(So to speak)

And now

Here I stand

Unwilling to return to such days

The past shall remain so

And I shall see to it

Aye, they were good times

But that was then

This is now

I cannot return to those days

For returning

Will only cause me

More anguish

More trouble

And trouble was never my friend

But day in, day out

The question bugs me

The stranger's comments bug me

How he continues to remind me

By accident

That the road is far from over

"You may have been hurt,"

He had said

"But that does not mean

It will define you in future

We cannot control fate

But we should not let fate

Master our very lives

Ere you condemn yourself

To a life of suffering

For eternity"

So yes? No? What then?

I pen it all down

Skeptical about the matter

Skeptical about the truth

If it is the truth

If it is what I lack

If it is possible

To return to those days

If

Words

If we just try, try, try

Just to be nice, nice, nice

Wouldn't things be so much better

For you and I?

If we just live our lives,

Putting our differences aside

Oh, Life would be so beautiful for us all.

Bless those whose spirits have diminished.
Such people I understand their fates.
I too feel the same.

For what worth is Life

If we continue to suffer?

Elevate my soul, please.

I've got no self-control

Been living like a mole now

Going down - excavation.

But does anyone care for the fallen?

The Lost? The Least? The Lonely?

When all hope is gone

And there is nowhere to go

Who do you turn to?

Until The Next Time

Dear readers, it is with a little hint of regret that I inform you of my blog's temporary closure. Rest assured, I will update it once in a while if I ever encounter something of particular interest.

Two reasons why I'm doing this:

1. STPM year.

I can't waste more time doing stuff for the blog when the feared public exams are just around the corner. So at the moment I will focus on my studies until the exams are over. A long time, yes, but it is a necessary sacrifice.

2. The War.
And I'm not talking about a coming Doomsday.

If you remember, I've mentioned before how I have to face an internal conflict. Things are not getting any better. Believe me, THEY AREN'T.

Most times I tell myself things will be OK. Things will get better. Guess I've been hiding all the real dangers and threats till they sneaked in when I least expected it. Almost as if the Devil has his hands on me like I was his marionette. And I even denied I have problems whilst ironically pointing out 'flaws' of others, somewhat like a hard-headed kid who just can't let go of his beloved toy.

Several recent incidents have caused me to realize I am nowhere near the end of the conflict, nor have I made any progress since I began Project New Life recently last year. It made me see the errors on my part in a more in-depth perspective, and I have begun to notice how the repercussions are turning the tables on me.

Thus, until this problem can be resolved, I have made it a point to STOP all New Life posts unless they are relevant to certain circumstances which we all can truly relate to (rather than pinning the blame on others or something like that) or if they pertain to anything important. But don't worry. Rest assured things will turn out alright.

I hope.

Cheers for now.

Oops

I have to confess I've been procrastinating a lot these holidays. And also made some bad mistakes earlier on that have ambushed me when I least expected it. Well, my bad. ><

I don't know why I did all this, and I wish I could undo them. But alas, once you've done it then "que sera, sera." It's either a good thing or otherwise. And in this case, it turned out the wrong way. Learning it the hard way always hurts.

Maybe I haven't been motivating myself enough? For some reason I can't get to pushing myself to start on my school work - and I feel like I have tonnes of it. Whether it might be because of my current situation (believe me I do have problems) or some other factor, I just feel drained whenever I think about my homework. And instead of doing them I'm avoiding them.

Some circumstances are hard to avoid. Others... not so. Even though there are assignments I'll have difficulty with, (PA comes to mind) those I can accomplish have to be done as soon as possible - or else!

Also, I do admit too that I need help for my Maths and Chemistry. Anyone willing to volunteer? I'd appreciate it deeply.

That's all for now, folks. Will be back soon, hopefully.

Cheers.

Gaudeamus Igitur (Iuvenes Dum Sumus)

Therefore, let us rejoice. (while we are young)

Indeed. We're still young and free and able to do what we love to do. Except those that are against the norms, of course.

Shouldn't we live to the fullest? Shouldn't we enjoy every passing day with nothing but feelings of fun and joy? Isn't that what being a teen is about?

Sigh.

Such is Life. There doesn't seem to be that kind of joy around anymore.

Ah. Life is so drab sometimes.

Deo Volente

God willing.

Are guys really such jerks? I mean, sure, many are those who behave... strangely. Indeed, it cannot be denied that guys can't help but just look (or worse, stare) at women (or, worse yet, a part of their anatomy). And yes, most of us (me included) are addicted to games that involve violence.

So do these reasons mean that we're jerks?

For the first two only, in my opinion. Those kind of people deserve no better fate than death. Well, except the unfortunate ones like those who've lost their minds or something.

Am I being biased?

I am a guy. I do know what it's like to get these kind of feelings or act in such behavior. So what of it? Why this? I dunno. These are only my thoughts, anyways. I'm no professional to comment, just say them out.

Some way or another we have to get used to the fact we're guys. Hell, just so long as such behavior doesn't define us!

Sigh.

God willing, we can change this perception problem.

Amor Caecus Est

Love is blind.

Indeed it is. Hell, I'll admit it, I've had myself in situations like so. And honestly, I don't understand why. Since I was young I have always told myself that love can wait - study first! get good grades! Get a life!

And the next thing I know I fell for someone.

That was back in 2008, Form Four year.

It.... didn't end well.

Lesson learned, move on, that's what I told myself. And what do you know - the next thing that happened was Round Two.

That was in 2009. It was... OK. It didn't work out but we're still pals at least (unlike the previous one) and we're still in touch.

Shit can't get any worse can it? Thankfully, NO. I'm easily settling in without any of these nagging worries chewing at the tip of my mind. For now, studies await!

Ooh, and Dawn Of War II too! XD

Graviora Manent

Greater dangers await.

The road that lies ahead of us is not an easy one to tread. There will always be paths that only draw us into the fire even if we try to avoid it. We will be battered and bruisd, but that does not mean we should give up on everything we fought for. Inevitable as it may seem, only through faith, unity, courage and honor can we really push ourselves forwards.

It cannot be denied that the human will is as powerful as any battle tank manufactured. So long as it is used to the highest potential there is nothing that can prevent us from achieving almost anything. The naysayers may have their thoughts, but as the quote goes "No one can make you feel inferior unless you allow them to".

There can be no telling what we will face. There can be no denying that trouble is unavoidable. There can be no sure signs of denial by others who strive to stop us. But in the end, what counts is your willpower. So long as you believe you are justified in your judgment, and your rights are jeopardized by unscupulous parties, then you must remember not to stand down. Your rights are yours and yours alone, and you must never let them die and sink into the ground. Nobody can take that away from you.

Always have faith in yourself, stand shoulder to shoulder with your comrades and press onwards in your march.

A special something for the Prefects of SMI.

My mind is a raging turmoil. I can't explain why, but all I know is that I am only drawing closer to oblivion if I annot do something about it.

Why am I turning into this? I remember when I used to be the cheerful one, always an image of happiness and joy and pure comedy. Well, technically, I still am. But Time does a lot to a person.

Now I'm only wearing a mask to hide the defects that plague me within. That mask is the only thing that keeps me sane to your eyes. But sooner or later, that cold void will eventually break loose from me, and that may be my very end. That may mean that it will be the end of me. My descent into darkness.

Now maybe you must be thinking: "My, aren't you a big black hole of pity and need". I reject your say. I may be at the edge of sanity, but that doesn't mean I want you to sympathize with me. Simply understand me, and let me be. If you want to help me, then just do it passively rather than actively. I have to fight my inner demons if I want to continue to live.

There isn't much for me to continue living for, save my beloved family, my trusted friends, and maybe even the girl of my dreams. I can only pray that Heaven grants me the strength to push on through thick and thin until I find true meaning in living Life.

I pray that my fortitude will never falter.

Can I Tell You Something?

And listen very closely.

I'm a tad troubled. It's mostly due to the fact I don't feel like I'm living up to my own expectations.

Out there, the world is a scary place - filled with schemers, thugs, hoodlums and radicals who wouldn't hesitate to come after you, filled with their own conscious greed for everything around them. Why do they covet all these? Can't they see what they are doing?

I'm afraid that such people will never change at all. Me, I think I'm stagnating as well. How much, I'm not sure, but I find that it's hard for me to adapt to this dark world we live in.

With the economy slowly folding in on itself and with people getting more desperate to look for money, it'll only be a matter of time before we all end up consuming ourselves. Why do we have to live this way? Why? Can't anyone tell me?

Is there no way we can live a better life? Full of harmony and loving and all that peaceful stuff? I don't think so, especially with the direction we're headed.

It's sad indeed. But then againj, such is the truth.

I can only hope that I can fit into this new life. Though I may be beaten on the journey, battered to the breaking point, I must push on. Isn't it the only way to find our true destiny? Our salvation?

I leave it up to your own thoughts. Farewell for now.

(On a lighter note, I have completed the interview and am hoping for the best!)

The Mysteries Of Life

1. Life itself.
Sure, Life is one heck of a ride. But what exactly is all the meaning of it? Is it just about us living our life? Is it about us devoting time to the things we love? Or does God have His great plans in life for a good reason? We can never really comprehend this fact in its true essence. Every person has their own thoughts on life, and every one differs. Can we really find some unanimous decision to it?

2. Love
It's not hard to see a number of couples all about, here and there, wherever you go. Is it love they feel for one another? People who have been married for long can attest to the fact they've stayed together for so long because of love. But what really makes them love each other? One's beauty? The personality? The thoughts? Something else entirely? What really is love? How are we supposed to explain it in terms understandable to those who don't feel it? And what is it with infatuation in the first place? Man, this one's a really tough cookie.

3. Black Holes
On the subject of science, everyone knows that black holes are giant invisible anomalies in space that consume everything in its path, including light. Now, apart from those facts, and that it can be detected by X-rays and is caused by a massive collapse of a giant star, what are they? We know they eat up everything, but what happens? Does that thingy really destroy everything? Or consumes it and spits it out somewhere else? I haven't a clue, and astrologists are probably still trying to discern more truth behind these devilish cosmic traps. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong.

(To be continued)

Updates Again

Well, the results are coming up really soon, and I must admit I'm very much nervous about the whole thing. Of course, who wouldn't be? It's the SPM results after all, the one that will change your destiny forever - whether you get stuck in Form 6 or escape to college or university. Some friends of mine were lucky enough to get a place in an institution of higher education (like Thomas, Ban Siong and Sue Jean) while myself, I'm just waiting for my rocket to come and get me the hell outta here!

There are a few choices I have. I can try applying to INTI again for the Leadership X-Cellence Award (though I have to see if I have 6As at least!), or wait for my Matriculation approval, or try somewhere else like Sunway (which is expensive) or HELP (which is expensive).

I'll have to take my chances. But whatever it is, I'll keep my eye out for opportunities. For now, it's just all about work!

BTW, I have some old books and notes I'd like to give away, since they aren't useful to me anymore. Anybody inrerested in them? Do call me up on my number, yeh?

I'll see you readers for now!

Updates

Guess what: because of some complications with my punch card, my stupid company didn't want to pay me my salary.

What the fook does that mean?

It means that the company is seriously fooked up, that's what!

Worse of all was the fact that they don't even want to pay me for the days I worked the morning shifts 'cos they say they don't allow it. Well, nobody told ME! Parkson worked up the timetable, and no one from the company said anything! How was I supposed to know?

Apart from that, the damned lady boss was constantly complaining and griping she didn't even bother listening to me. And not even my supervisor, at that! Who does she think she is?

Well, it took quite a lot of worrying and complaining and discussing, and now finally they agreed to pay me my full pay. Whether they will bank it in as promised remains to be seen, but I do hope they do. If they don't then those fookers can kiss their company goodbye! So there!

BTW, the company name is Hanabishi, a local brand. Boycott them!!

Thanks to my supervisor, co-workers, the Parkson management and the extremely helpful Sales Executive from the company who aided me through all this!

Signing off for now.

Updates

Life sucks. Big time.