Thoughts: Anthropomorphism

I remember reading one of Ellen Whyte's recent stories on her weekly Katz Tales in the Star, where her resident cats each reacted differently to a new and temporary house guest, a tortoise. One couldn't be bothered, one made friends with the guest, while another was scared witless, even after the tortoise was released.

Below that column was a small piece about anthropomorphism - the attributing of human characteristics to animals and gods, among other things. So the question now begs: do animals have feelings just like us?

One part of society thinks so. If not, why do they go great lengths in providing the best for their pets? Why else would they shower their affection on their fuzzy (or furry, or scaly, etc) friends? It's pretty obvious both master and pet share a unique chemistry between one another. And we all know how it hurts when a family pet passes away after being with them for so long.

Then we have the few who treat them as they are. I'm sure we all loathe them for what they do to their pets just to make sure they behave.

And of course, let's not forget the scumbags who let their pets suffer and die in the most horrible ways possible. They deserve a place in hell.

But I digress: do they actually emote? Science argues that it's all instinctive behavior. I, like many others, think otherwise. But this debate has been going on for so long it's hard to actually side with one party when there's so much evidence being laid down by people all over the globe.

What do you think? Share your thoughts with me. (Though I'm positive everyone would agree animals do feel!) Maybe I might group everyone's say and send it over to Ellen Whyte to be published in the Star. Well, hopefully.

New Thoughts

Jerk, noun: [Slang] a person regarded as disagreeable, despicable, etc.
(Sourced from Webster's New World Dictionary, published 1995)

This is going to be quite a tell-all.

Have you ever had a day when your good intentions are suddenly warped and twisted just because of a few words or because of one action? I'm sure we've all had our days. Come to think of it, I've had a huge share of those problems.

Frank Sinatra sang: "Regrets, I've had a few./But then again, too few to mention." If I said I had no regrets at all - not a single one ever - then I'd be lying. In fact, I've piled them up in one corner for myself to see. The details are fuzzy, but they're there in my head. What a way to remind myself of all my faults.

Even after a massive fallout, I'd always be the first to simmer down and realize how foolish I was. But of course, at that time, the damage is already done. Can I still mend the wounds? I can only hope so.

If you saw the definition of "jerk" at the start of the post, you'd probably wonder if the term has any connection to me. I've been branded a jerk before, and yes, initially I didn't like it. But in time I decided I shouldn't allow myself to be adversely affected by one word. If people were to consider me to be a jerk, I won't say they're right nor wrong. Nobody is really in the right, let alone the wrong. For all I know, they might be considered a jerk to another person.

So who wants to start pointing fingers? Forget it, you're not going anywhere if you did.

From what I have learned from the tell-all weeks ago, instead of letting myself drown under the weight of the grief and misery generated by my mind - and including the negative feedback from the detractors - I'm gonna have to live with the consequences. It's a fact. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, that's what they say.

If I have to live with them, then it's a challenge I should accept. And while they may continue to trouble me for many more weeks, perhaps even months, no matter how much they tug at my mind, I'll have to ignore them if I don't want history to repeat itself.

As Publilius Syrus said: "How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself." I will have to forgive myself for the things I shouldn't have done. All that's left is for them to choose to forgive me.

I can tell you right now, if I could turn back time, there would be so many wrongs that I could right. So many chances I missed that I could take up. So much could be changed for the better! And, in fact, I may even find myself where I belong.

If I could turn back time, so much could have been changed:
I'd never have angered my friends while in Primary and even in Lower Secondary;
I'd never have acted so stupidly back in Form Four;
(All because of muddled emotions; one of the worst mistakes I'd ever done. If ever I could meet her again, I wouldn't hesitate to say sorry for it)
I'd never have let history repeat itself the following year;
I'd probably have avoided a verbal fight with my classmate;
(Thankfully we've mended bridges)
I'd never lost another friend because of my forgetfulness;
(Jean, if you're reading this, I'm terribly sorry. I truly am. A year on and I have never gotten over it. I never should have forgotten Leroy's card, and I wish you would forgive me for it)
I'd have stopped my friend from doing something stupid;
I'd have stopped myself for trusting my 'gut instincts';
I'd never have hurt her - and myself - because of my immaturity;
(You know I mean you; even when you forgave me for it, it will forever remain a black stain in the story of my life)
I'd never have fallen so deep into despair and self-loathing;
(One of the lowest points in my entire life; thank you to those who have helped me find new meaning in my life, and for adding value to it)
I'd never have acted like a jerk and said things I will continue to regret.

And that's just a tip of the iceberg.

Losing a friend is one of the most painful things that I've experienced - twice, maybe thrice considering what I said last Friday. It's like getting stabbed in the heart and adding lots of salt to the wound. And then letting it fester and become gangrenous. That's how much it stings. When am I ever going to permanently remind myself not to break more bonds of friendship?

But all that's in the past now. Best to move on and remember the lessons I've learned on the way.

At the same time, I thank Kuan Yin for being so gracious and caring even when I faced these arduous tests. My strong connection with my religion, though not as strong as it should be, has helped me see through these perilous times. And of course, there's the support from my extended family, who have shown me that it's not the end of the world.

And I pray I won't have to go through these tests anymore; for if I repeat them again then let it be known that my sins shall not be absolved until I find a way to right the wrongs, lest my soul be damned and taken to the bowels of Hell to suffer for all eternity. This I vow.

This I vow.

If you're reading this, I hope I've made certain things clear. I thank those who have shown me they still care, and I will do whatever I can to change for the better.

If you're one of the few people mentioned, whether directly or indirectly, I won't force you to make a decision in an instant. I can't promise that I won't make the same mistake again in future. (And, fingers crossed, it won't!) But if you allow me to find the time and effort to rebuild our broken trust, I will not let this chance slip from my hands anymore. As I have vowed above, if I lose that chance, then it would mean the end of me.

I'll be as open and transparent as I can. If you have questions, don't hesitate to ask. I'll answer the best as I can. And I promise you it'll be nothing but the truth.

And please do me the favor of sharing this. It's intended for all of you: even those who stand divided from me, and for those whom I've already lost. Thank you.

Entries

"So

Have you figured it out?"

A sudden question

From the stranger

On a beautiful afternoon

As the train passes

Wonderful sights

Of the prairies

"What are we talking about?"

I ask him

Too many things on my mind

"What it was

I asked you to ponder

In my absence"

He replied

Matter-of-factly

Sitting down

Next to Harley

Eager to play with the stranger

"Ah, I remember that

All too well

I have given much thought

But up until now

I don't know

What would give me an answer

That would satisfy me"

The stranger nodded

Dangling a string

In front of Harley

Who is always so keen

In playing cute games

Like this

"I don't have an answer either

It's something

You have to find out

Yourself

I don't have to repeat myself, don't I?

Offering you advice

Does not mean

You should follow it

You are not bound to my words

Or that of others

Merely choose what you feel

Is the right advice

And use it well"

"But I don't know

If my choice is right"

I voice my concerns

The stranger continues

To play with Harley

"Nobody ever made

The right choice

So easily

Unless it's their luck

Have you?

Look back on your life

All it means

Is that you are still learning"

Truth

While it pains me

To remember how awful

Those times were

They serve as reminders

Not to return to such a state

Ever

"So what about now?"

He asked

His eyes gazing into mine

Almost as if

He could see my future

"What does your heart say?"

I shrug

"I don't really know"

I admit

"Part of me

Refuses to believe

While the remainder

Has faith

That it will be alright

That it would work out

The way I hope it would"

"Cling onto that hope,"

Says he

"But not too tightly

It may not go as planned

But at least

You can proudly tell yourself

You conquered your fears

And nothing changed

For the worse

Tread lightly

For you tread on thin ice"

"You are likened

To be on a ship

On perilous

And fickle

Waters

You are its captain

Much like how you conduct this train

And your every choice

Decides

Your survival

Or your demise

On the high seas"

"Would you finally

Complete this puzzle?

Would you continue

To find the missing pieces?

Would you surrender

And never attempt this again?

Would it be too late

To regret the choices made?

I do not know

Either one of these

May happen

And that

Will ultimately

Decide the next chapter of your life."

"Plan accordingly,"

He adds

Stroking Harley on his head

"Because tomorrow carries forward

What today went through

Do not blind yourself

To the larger truth

Do not feel ashamed

By the mistakes you made

Simply

Be full of hope

For hope

Is all that Man has left"

The wind blows

From an open window

One I thought I had locked

But I look round again

And the stranger is gone

Gone

With the wind

Hence, the open window

I stand up

And shut it tight

Sighing

Harley looking up at me

With his cute looks

He must wonder

Where the stranger has gone

I pick up the kitten

Stroking his chin

"He will be back"

I whisper

Though I doubt he understands

I put him down on the seat

Just as my phone began to ring

The call

I had expected

(Had I?)

I smile

And remind myself

How Fate is so fickle

So I pen it all down

And keep his words at heart

Someday

I will be complete

Someday

Entries

Yes? No? What then?

Answers!

I need answers

Not more questions

And who said anything

About questions being the answers?

That's not the case

Not in this context

'tis a rainy day

Raindrops pattering

On the window

Visibility is poor

I cannot even see

The view of the countryside

That the train passes by

Where did this rain cloud come from?

No matter

I need a solution

Now, if possible

The stranger's cryptic remarks

Always leave me dangling

Wanting more

But none I receive

Such an illusive man

I had hoped

He would be here

To tell me what I missed

To guide me the right way

But he does not show

And thankfully

Nor the Devil

In our previous conversation

He had mentioned

I lacked something

And if I found it

It may mean

My life would be complete

I knew what he had hinted at

But I told myself

"No more!

'tis not for one such as I

I am unfeeling no more

All I am

Is but a shadow of my former self

And so I shall remain

Forever"

The stranger would not agree

With my statement

IF he were here

He always believes

In second chances

But I?

I do not take chances so easily

Unless I believe in the outcome

Which in this case

I don't

I drum my fingers on the sill

Gazing out

At the rain

Harley on the seat opposite me

Watching me

With his cute blue eyes

Perhaps wondering

If I am alright

But he does not comprehend

How complicated we humans are

Complicated?

Or making things complicated?

Both, I suppose

Long ago

I was like the others

Just like my friends

Those I believe are the lucky few

I thought I was complete

I thought, finally

I had something I only dreamed of having

A treasure

Though incomparable to family

But nevertheless

A treasure

But in the end

I lost it

I died

So to speak

I failed

I fell from grace

(So to speak)

And now

Here I stand

Unwilling to return to such days

The past shall remain so

And I shall see to it

Aye, they were good times

But that was then

This is now

I cannot return to those days

For returning

Will only cause me

More anguish

More trouble

And trouble was never my friend

But day in, day out

The question bugs me

The stranger's comments bug me

How he continues to remind me

By accident

That the road is far from over

"You may have been hurt,"

He had said

"But that does not mean

It will define you in future

We cannot control fate

But we should not let fate

Master our very lives

Ere you condemn yourself

To a life of suffering

For eternity"

So yes? No? What then?

I pen it all down

Skeptical about the matter

Skeptical about the truth

If it is the truth

If it is what I lack

If it is possible

To return to those days

If

Thoughts: Questions to Ponder

Watched Jack Neo's "I Not Stupid Too" yesterday (from the date of this posting) and had some thoughts at some of the tear-jerking moments.

At the moment, I can only think of this:

Child Negligence
It is indeed our responsibility - well, I mean parents - to take care of one's children. To shower them with love, affection, care and to teach them the meaning of becoming a responsible person when they become adults.

But what if we neglect their needs? What if we just ignore them, too busy with our own work to spend some quality time with them? Or when they do something wrong; do we listen to them first or act out according to the judgment of others or yourself? How do we know we are right?

Like in the movie, when the young boy was caned for stealing, he told his parents he was just saving up "to buy an hour of their time". Why is it only at the last minute when we realize our mistakes?

Think about it.

Entries

The train yet moves

And I sit there

Enjoying a drink

Taking in the views

Outside the window

"It's so beautiful out there," she says

A smile creased on her lips

She took me by the hand

"Can we go out there?

And play in the snow?

I've always wanted to"

I smiled widely

She was hard to resist

"Of course," I told her

And she giggled

The way she always does

Never did I expect

To find myself in the company

Of a new friend

The stranger had long gone

On his ride

I wonder how he is now

But Time has gone by

So quickly

I vaguely recall the day

I met him

But now she's here

She's here to keep me happy

And calm

And contented

And to me

That would suffice

Outside

Time almost seemed

Non-existent

As we built snowmen

Pelted each other with snowballs

Riding on a sled

Laughing all the way

The aurora came up at night

And we sat

Around the campfire

Birdsongs heard in the woods

We sat there

In silence

As nature unveiled her beauty

"I wish everyday was like this"

She whispered in my ear

As she drifted into sleep

"I wish for the same," I tell her

We sat there

As the day faded to a close

Morning light

As the train moves on

Alone I am now

As the view blurs past

She's gone

She's gone now

But Life has to go on

Always did she say

"Greener pastures are out there

And I hope to lay there

In the grass

As the breeze blows softly

From dawn to dusk"

I guess

She has gone to look

For those greener pastures

Would she be back?

I have my doubts

Life is all too short

To expect anything

The least I can do now

Is to keep going on

So I pen it all down

And I make sure

I cherish these memories

Cherish our memories

Cherish

Words

Time is going by

So much faster than I

And I'm starting to regret

Not saying so many things to you

So if I haven't yet

Please listen

I'm leaving so soon

Never had a chance to bloom

And I was too quick

To change my tune

I've been like a rock

An island

Isolated from you, specifically

And I don't care if you don't care

Honestly

I don't know what to say now

Don't know where to start

I don't know how to handle

This complicated heart

On one hand

I am justified

On the other hand

I am wrought with guilt

Guilt of what?

I'm not so sure

Apologies have been said

But have they ever carried their weight?

Sorry has become

A cliché

Overused

An excuse to repeat the same mistakes

Even when I never meant that

It has become a norm

So do I have anything left?

I never imagined

I'd find this chance

But lose myself in the end

I just never pictured it would end

I used to believe in love

I used to believe in something bigger

Than what I had

I wanna go back to the days

The days when I stayed the same

Before all this happened

But don't look back

If I'm a weight around your neck

Haven't I always been?

So goodbye to you

Goodbye to everything

That I do

There was a time so long ago

When you were the one

I tried to hold on to

But say goodbye

Those days are gone

The present harkens us

To focus on more pressing matters

Let's move on

Time and tide

Waits for no one

And we cannot bear

To be swept away

On the tides

I wish you well

Words

Love comes in

Love goes out

Love is young

Love grows old

Love has bloomed

Love has withered

Love is life

Love is death

Love is strong

Love is weak

Love is belief

Love is disillusion

Love is calm

Love is frenzied

Love is found

Love is lost

Love is free

Love is chained

Love is real

Love is false

Love is pleasure

Love is pain

Love is easy

Love is hard

Love is true

Love is fickle

Love is a lie

Love is born

Love is dead

Love in me?
Love in you?
Love...

Indeed, love is not what I desire

Or maybe not at the moment

Who am I to say?

Say no more

There is nothing left for me

Family Comes First

When I typed this post I had just come back from helping my mum out with some work. Mind you, the notes I publish are all scheduled posts. So the original post which I typed was done at about 11.43 pm on Friday, the 26th of November 2010 AD. Yes, you read right. And believe me, as tired as I may be now, I can't say that I'm glad I helped her out.

Most times, kids would usually gripe when their parents ask them for their help with something, be it a chore or something involving their work. I admit I did complain before, but now I see the big picture: when we help our parents we shouldn't see it as something that hinders us or is an annoyance. Instead we should be happy to help them, because we're technically repaying a bit of the deeds they've done for us as a child growing up. We always end up taking our parents for granted, and we never really show them gratitude for taking care of us since our birth. It's high time we changed that.

Why should we be complaining anyway? When we're young, it's normal to do it because we don't know about the burdens we carry. But as we age and we learn and mature, we should recognize that our parents did all their best to give us what we have today. Let's not take into account those who were abused by their parents. I will address that in a later post. The fact is, our parents worked so hard to do all they can to give us a good life, good education, and loads more. Now that we're older, we should do all we can to repay their kindness and their care for us. Be it treating them more nicely, buying lunch and dinner everyday, or maybe taking them somewhere for some quality family time, we need to show them our thanks for their love and affection, and all the sacrifices they've made for us.

Family comes first. It's good that we have Father's and Mother's Day celebrations. But we need to make every day Family Day. Think about it.

Cheers!

There Is Love - If You Know Where To Look

Now the main reason why I decided to highlight this topic is because of how people seem to misunderstand the real deal love brings. I was especially motivated by certain events that involved other people from all walks of life, and it only made me think about how most of us react to love. But please do remember that these are NOT professionally written thoughts; these are how I see the point. If you'd like to clarify or add to something, you are most welcome to do so.

When it comes to loving someone, there are a whole lot of factors that need to be taken into consideration. These include commitment to one another, trust in each other, and patience with each other. Most of the time, short-term couples exist because there is none of these elements in their lives. They just go by it because of what they call 'love for each other'. Hearing that makes me laugh.

There are couples who have commitment, but don't have trust. That won't work because even if you're committed to each other's wellbeing, without trust you're only going to end up bickering with each other. Those who have trust but have no commitment face that problem too; in the end, they can never stay in a stable relationship because both parties don't want to do their part. Then there are those without patience; that is a disaster waiting to happen. I can go on with the list, but you already can tell what will happen next.

Let's face it: when you're really in love, both parties will stay true to each other no matter what happens. It takes lots of effort to make sure the relationship is going to be a lasting one. Firstly, when they start feeling mutual liking for one another, the number one factor that ensures their love goes on is TRUST. They need to let each other know how they really feel about one another. They can't hide any secrets that may jeopardize the relationship. They must be willing to make sacrifices in order to let their love grow. Trust is the basis to every kind of relationship; without it, it's like a building without it's foundation. And technically, when you don't have a foundation, you can't build anything!

When they have trust, they must also have COMMITMENT to complement that trust. When they are committed to making it last, they add to their trust-building by focusing solely on each other's needs. They commit to their love by making more sacrifices; cultivating their love in a positive way; put the situation ahead of their relationship; and also share the satisfaction they gain from each other, simply by being in their company or doing something nice for them. Committed couples who have trust can go far, but even so the foundation still needs to be strengthened.

That's where PATIENCE comes in. When the lovers have patience, nothing can break 'em. Rome wasn't built in a day, and you can't expect love to instantly become strong once you've made the feelings known to one another. That is wrong! They need to build it up slowly and at a constant pace. There's no need to rush, as rushing it will only complicate matters further. After all impatient people are the ones who always lose the most, because they expect their seeds to bloom into flowers right after you plant them. Everything takes time, and it demands patience.

So unless you and your future partner can answer these questions:
Do we trust each other well enough?
Are we committed in making this relationship last?
Do we have the patience to build our love slowly?
Then you can consider starting a relationship with him or her.

But be warned! When it comes to dating at an early age, there are perils. It's all about raging hormones when you're a teen, and they usually cloud your judgment. Sure, there are couples who have dated even since Form Four. Unfortunately, most of these relationships are only temporary, because in the end the momentum they carried with them lost its energy while the journey was still going on. And let's not forget our parents also have veto power in these matters; you just have to know whether he or she IS the right one, and that both your parents agree with your decision, or you may end up regretting or broken hearted.

There are always external factors too that can make or break relationships, even the strongest ones. Jealousy, envy, greed, pride, lust, vanity - these are some of love's deadliest enemies. The moment you have any form of these sins creep into your life, you had better snuff them out of your life or they will ruin it badly. Even couples married for decades can end up divorcing if the man spends too much time gambling, or abusing his wife. Love is indeed a gift of God, but the Devil is always lurking around to place God's plans into a standstill.

I will elaborate more on this topic in a later post. Hopefully, this post will give you a small insight into what really makes love tick.

Cheers!

Amor Vincit Omnia

Love conquers all.

So said the Greek poet Virgil. But what does it really mean?

To me, love has the raw power to move mountains. Love can take one anywhere so long as they are filled with its emotions, its strength. Love is the most powerful energy (if it can be considered so) in the entire Universe. God granted us with it as a blessing, a blessing not many consider to be one. Indeed, without love we would never have made it this far. No one of us would have even come into existence either! It's the basis of life itself. It cannot NOT exist in the world. Or else.

Anyone else have something to say? Enlighten me with your own thoughts.

Amor Caecus Est

Love is blind.

Indeed it is. Hell, I'll admit it, I've had myself in situations like so. And honestly, I don't understand why. Since I was young I have always told myself that love can wait - study first! get good grades! Get a life!

And the next thing I know I fell for someone.

That was back in 2008, Form Four year.

It.... didn't end well.

Lesson learned, move on, that's what I told myself. And what do you know - the next thing that happened was Round Two.

That was in 2009. It was... OK. It didn't work out but we're still pals at least (unlike the previous one) and we're still in touch.

Shit can't get any worse can it? Thankfully, NO. I'm easily settling in without any of these nagging worries chewing at the tip of my mind. For now, studies await!

Ooh, and Dawn Of War II too! XD

My mind is a raging turmoil. I can't explain why, but all I know is that I am only drawing closer to oblivion if I annot do something about it.

Why am I turning into this? I remember when I used to be the cheerful one, always an image of happiness and joy and pure comedy. Well, technically, I still am. But Time does a lot to a person.

Now I'm only wearing a mask to hide the defects that plague me within. That mask is the only thing that keeps me sane to your eyes. But sooner or later, that cold void will eventually break loose from me, and that may be my very end. That may mean that it will be the end of me. My descent into darkness.

Now maybe you must be thinking: "My, aren't you a big black hole of pity and need". I reject your say. I may be at the edge of sanity, but that doesn't mean I want you to sympathize with me. Simply understand me, and let me be. If you want to help me, then just do it passively rather than actively. I have to fight my inner demons if I want to continue to live.

There isn't much for me to continue living for, save my beloved family, my trusted friends, and maybe even the girl of my dreams. I can only pray that Heaven grants me the strength to push on through thick and thin until I find true meaning in living Life.

I pray that my fortitude will never falter.

Random Thoughts: Love

LOVE: such a silly game we all play. Why is it important? What exactly is it? How do we know if we've found the Right One?

It's funny, really. We see all those dramas and rom-coms and what-nots and we get the idea that love usually comes quick and easy. OK, maybe slow at times. But is it all truth? How long do we have to wait for the One to appear? Minutes? Hours? Days? Months? Years? Decades? How long?

Does it matter whether he/she is beautiful? Does beauty count? Or is it in the eyes of the beholder? Does the personality count as well? Is he/she someone you can relate to? What do you feel when you see that person? Or when you talk? What is it that burns in our hearts, if such a sensation is truly felt? Joy? Sadness? Anxiety? Nervousness? What exactly?

If we pine for someone, does it really mean something? Is it love or infatuation? Or maybe even unrequited love? How are we supposed to know if he/she feels the same for us? Verbally? Mentally? Emotionally? Physically? Are we supposed to accept those feelings? And if in the end it ends up in flames, what do we do then? Move on? Linger? Regret?

Probably someone who is in Love can explain it to me? And our other readers who could use a tip or two? Enlighten us on this subject.