Part V of Friendship Eternal: The Foxhole Principle

The next principle I will introduce is actually my favorite!

"In poverty and other misfortunes in life, true friends are a sure refuge. The young they keep out of mischief; to the old they are a comfort and aid in their weakness, and those in the prime of life they incite to noble deeds.
~ Aristotle

Friendship requires this last component in order to make it a lasting one. Sure, now you have trust friends can count on; an attitude that places friends first, situation last; the ability to see past problems, and the ability to talk to almost anybody. But the next one ultimately decides who among your circle will become the greatest friend you could ever have.

The Foxhole Principle states: "When preparing for a battle, dig a hole big enough for a friend." The reason why it's called this way is simple. Pastor and Dallas Theological Seminary Chancellor Chuck Swindoll said that in the U.S. Marines he was taught to dig a foxhole (or fighting hole) big enough for a friend. An infantry fighting manual would state there are many types of foxholes. The simplest was the "hasty fighting position" where the soldier has no time to dig a hole. Or if he does have time, he can dig one big enough for himself. But it is stated that a "one-soldier fighting position...does not have the security of a two-soldier position."

Even better than two? Three! According to the Army Field Manual, the efficiency of the three-soldier foxhole is stated below:
"One man can provide security; one can do priority work; and one can rest, eat or perform maintenance. This allows the priority of work to be completed more quickly than in a one-soldier or two-soldier position." Also, "it is more difficult for the enemy to destroy this type of position. To do so, the enemy must kill or suppress three soldiers."

Even wise King Solomon of Israel has a poem to depict the importance of sticking together:
'Two are better than one
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.'

When it comes to this principle, please remember the foxhole isn't just for you; you need to be a friend before you ask a friend's help, and you've been in someone else's foxhole sometime ago.

Now when it comes to foxholes, if you have one just for yourself, it's not healthy! According to some research done by the California Department of Mental Health, people who spend most of their time alone are more prone to contract chronic health cases that can lead to death than people who are always spending time with friends. (Isolating yourself from others can cause terminal cancer!) Also, when you share a foxhole with someone, the both of you will become great friends and have a friendship that will last forever! It's because all the thick and thin you've shared together will be worth more than gold. Treasure those memories.

Foxholes also prove to you who are your real friends. Sadly, many are people are like our shadows. In sunny days, they're there. In dark days, they are missing. Only those friends who are closest to you will stick with you all the way and not ask anything in return. Coach Pepper Rodgers quipped on a bad year he faced: "My dog was about my only friend, and I told my wife that a man needs at least two friends. She bought me another dog."

So now you know how foxholes help you out. And I hope you'll also remember that foxhole friends are hard to find - they are few in number. There was an incident during the American Civil War when President Abraham Lincoln received a request for pardon to a certain soldier for desertion. To his surprise, it came without anything to vouch for the soldier. The officer told him that all of the soldier's family members were killed in the war, and that he was a friendless person. So Lincoln said he would give his decision the following morning.

It took him long and hard to come up with a decision that was wise and fair. But the next day, he told the officer the testimony of a friend had him decide to pardon the man. Shocked, the officer reminded Lincoln that the request had come without any letter(s) of reference. Lincoln simply said: "I will be his friend." And thus the man was pardoned. Lincoln proved himself to be a foxhole friend.

When you find that one true foxhole friend (or a couple if you're lucky), make sure you value him/her/them.

And let's not forget that foxhole friends depend on one another to strengthen their resolve. When you have someone believe in you, it uplifts you. Philosopher Epicurus says, "It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confident knowledge that they will help us." Make sure you do the same for your comrade too. And you'll also notice that the both of you will see things from the same perspective, regardless of what your personalities are like. The more time you spend with someone, the more inclined you both are to agree with each other. It grants you both great help and comfort to one another.

As the battle heats up, foxhole friends make a big difference in life. And no matter the odds, foxhole friends love each other unconditionally. They are the people who will keep your secrets, share your strengths and victories, help carry your burdens, and does practically anything with you. Take me and RJ, for example. We may not look like it, but we are foxhole friends. We share lots of stuff and have loads of fun, and we always make sure we were there for each other. We complement each other - and we are definitely passionate about doing our best for every one's sake. If I hadn't met him, I doubt that I would ever be what I am today.

Before I end, here's an inspiring tale of true friendship:

Author and former pastor of City Temple in London, Leslie D. Weatherhead, wrote about two friends who were literally foxhole friends; they were soldiers together. He said that when one of the soldiers was injured and could not get back to safety, his buddy went out to get him, against his officer's orders. He returned mortally wounded, and his friend, whom he carried on his back, was dead.

The officer was angry. "I told you not to go," he said. "Now I've lost both of you. It was not worth it."

The dying man replied, "But it was, sir, because when I got to him, he said, 'Jim, I knew you'd come.'"

I love this story. I type this with tears in my eyes, because it means what it says. Even in the most dire of situations, when the entire world seems to be against you; when the sky's about to fall; when all hope seems lost... you know that right beside you, you have someone you can truly count on. Someone to fight with you, even against all odds. And you can proudly stand shoulder to shoulder with him/her.

So who is your foxhole friend? I know mine is RJ, and I know even if we are far apart, we will always remain foxhole friends. And that thought always keeps me going.

Cheers!