Part VII of Friendship Eternal: Mending Bridges

Look back on your life and think of the many friends you have. There may be times when you realize that you haven't been in touch with certain people for a long while, and you tell yourself, "I should drop him or her a line." Now with the advent of the great social networking sites (Facebook especially), it suddenly seems so easy for us to do just that.

But there are times that even the closest of friends can suddenly drift apart when you least expect it. These things are unavoidable, and if you don't pay attention to these problems, then you may lose the friendship for good. It doesn't matter whichever one of the principles you've learned in the previous post. Once you start losing connection with someone, then you can kiss it goodbye. Like I said before, it takes commitment and true trust for us to cultivate and maintain our relationships.

We need to remember to do all we can to reaffirm our friendships with others. This is never a difficult task: you just need to make sure there is communication between the both of you, no matter the length of the communication. All you need is the willingness to gently remind them you are still their friend. Never mind if you only get a very short chance to speak to them, as long as you make sure you do say "Hi" and "How are you?" You might just be doing them a favor, by reminding them they have you as a constant companion.

Recently, I discovered that I've been neglecting some of my friends and now I am doing all I can to ensure my friendship with these people remains firm, despite our differences or whatever may be keeping us from talking. Whenever I do this reconnecting, this renewal of friendship, I feel renewed myself. It's because I treasure all the friends I have in my life. Can I allow time to separate a friendly relationship I have with a person? Of course not! Therefore we must do all we can to maintain our friendship with others, especially those who have been away from us for so long.

My good friend, Timothy Ong, now lives in Taiping - but that doesn't stop us from planning outings together with our mutual buddies. Quite recently this year, I received a quick message from him, asking if I would be free to meet up for a movie. (He also invited several others, but alas they couldn't make it) I'd missed a lot of chances to meet up with him ever since he left for Taiping, and when he asked this time I couldn't give it a miss. I agreed, we met and we had a good time together.

See? Isn't it great to refresh your connections with your pals? The more you do this, the more you'll find it helps you reaffirm old friendships that can last a lifetime. But of course, there will be the question, "What if I do all this, but in the end it doesn't last?" Then take a cue from the previous post: some friendships are made for a REASON, or they last only for a SEASON. Treasure the memories you had with those individuals. Even if you can't build a strong friendship from these people, at least just stay in touch. If you think it's not worth it, well that's up to you. Just remember that they aren't permanent.

Most people would actually encourage spending more time cultivating permanent friendships rather than focus on the short-term one. I say: why not? It wouldn't hurt to do a little bit of that even if it may just last for a week. You might learn something valuable from the time well spent. I had lots of experience with people whom I rarely contact, but I still enjoyed the times we had those days.

Risk-taking in friendship may be as risky as gambling. But that's where the thrill comes from - knowing you took the risk of building trust with another person. Sure, we will be hurt in the process. There's no doubt about it. But when it pays off, you don't just hit a jackpot; you're also winning a whole lot of other goodies too! So start mending bridges with your friends, or else you will regret it the rest of your life. As the saying goes, "You'll never know who is your friend until you prove to them that you are their friend."

Cheers!